The Knower Of Roads
by Inaniloquently
Summary: Something of a 'what if' interpretation set during and after Episode Five of series one. Captain James and Molly Dawes where such a beautifully written couple, I think they deserve more time together. ;)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer

 _Our Girl_ (and the characters, storylines and ideas related to them) belong to writers and any other relevant Copy Right owners. This story has not been written for any profit and no infringement is intended.

 **The Knower of Roads**

 _Don't go anywhere without me._ _  
_ _Let nothing happen in the sky apart from me,_ _  
_ _or on the ground, in this world or that world,_ _  
_ _without my being in its happening._ _  
_ _Vision, see nothing I don't see._ _  
_ _Language, say nothing._ _  
_ _The way the night knows itself with the moon,_ _  
_ _be that with me. Be the rose_ _  
_ _nearest to the thorn that I am._

 _I want to feel myself in you when you taste food,_ _  
_ _in the arc of your mallet when you work,_ _  
_ _when you visit friends, when you go_ _  
_ _up on the roof by yourself at night._

 _There's nothing worse than to walk out along the street_ _  
_ _without you. I don't know where I'm going._ _  
_ _You're the road, and the knower of roads,_ _  
_ _more than maps, more than love._

In The Arc Of Your Mallet – Rumi

 **Chapter One**

The sound of Katy Perry warbling about fireworks blasting out of Molly's phone announced that she had a call. Jarring and noisy, it interrupted her current occupation of staring sightlessly at the beige walls of her hotel room in Cyprus. She turned from where she was sitting cross-legged on her bed and reached for the iPhone, unsure if the call was a welcome or unwelcome intrusion.

The screen showed a UK number but not one with which she was familiar. Sliding her finger across the touch screen, she accepted the call. The likelihood was it was a PPI call centre or ambulance chaser company about a crash she'd never had, in a car she'd never own, never mind driven. Either possibly seemed like an opportunity for relief from the shouting silence of her own thoughts that had been her only company since her conversation on the beach with Kinders.

"Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Private Molly Dawes, please?" A female voice queried. She was soft spoken with an accent from somewhere up North, perhaps the posher end of Yorkshire, Molly thought absently. The woman's tone was professional and completely unfamiliar to Molly, but the use of her rank suggesting something official.

"Yes."

Molly stretched, uncrossing her legs and moved to sitting on the side of the bed. The rush of blood through her straightened out legs caused the muscular burn of pins and needles and made her huff out a breath in pain.

The tingling in her legs made her wonder just how long she'd been sat lost in her own thoughts. A quick look at the clock on the bedside cabinet gave her an answer. It was two hours since she'd left the beach claiming she needed a nap. The truth was she'd been seeking an escape from the efforts of the members of her Section who were trying so damn hard to bring up her mood while not mentioning the elephant-in-the-room subject of why she needed the mood boost in the first place.

Hearing Kidders tell her that Captain James was having yet another operation in the same breath as telling her how loved up she was apparently with Smurf had about been the final straw on her proverbial camel's back–her own guilt making up the rest of the weight.

The pressure of everything just felt like too much today. She was exhausted in every way possible. Being stuck in a holiday resort on orders from the army while trying to stop herself bolting at the first opportunity onto a plane back to the UK was taking all the self control she had left. Bothering to set the story straight, yet again, regarding her actual relationship with Smurf to Corporal Kinders hadn't seemed worth the effort. Maintaining polite coherent conversation had been enough of a drain.

She could not shake the feeling that it was all so self-deserved because if sleep was hard to achieve and food had become more of forced routine than enjoyable activity, that was her just punishment for being an epic fuck up.

"Hello?" the voice at the end of the phone asked, sounding less sure.

"Sorry, I mean…yes, speaking." Molly replied in a distracted rush.

"My name is Anna, I'm calling from the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingh –"

Heart in her mouth, Molly jumped to her feet and cut the woman off mid word. "What's happened, is he alright? Oh, God–"

Molly's panting breath was all that could be heard for several seconds followed by the sound of painfully contained, soft sobbing.

For Anna, Molly's obvious distress was heart-breaking, but she had an important purpose in making this phone call. Keeping her voice soft and steady she tried to calm Molly with rank and formality.

"Private Dawes," she said projecting an authority well practised after years of service in the R.A.M.C.

"I'm sorry…I just–"

Another hitched breath followed another as Molly struggled to even out her voice. Two fat tears escaped the sheen of others gathered under green irises and dark pupils flared wide with fear. The first two tears were followed by several more before Molly felt she had enough control of herself to speak.

Voice stronger, Molly wiped her face and said, "I'm sorry. I'm being a prannet. Please, what did you need to tell me?"

To Anna, Molly sounded terribly young and lost to be having to deal with this so far away and alone. Army practise meant decompression was the norm before repatriation after a tour and it was done for the wellbeing of serving personnel, but perhaps was not so much in the interest of someone in Molly's circumstances. All Anna could hear from her end of the phone was a woman holding herself together by the thinnest of threads who should have been home not stuck out in Cyprus.

"Molly, may I call you Molly? I know it's hard, but I need you to be calm…"

"I am, I'm sorry. I've got a handle on myself now. Molly is fine. I mean to call me, if you like."

 _Good girl,_ Anna thought. _You're a strong one._

"I'm calling with an update about Captain James. My apologies that there hasn't been contact earlier. Your details were omitted from his next of kin paperwork. He's been asking for you, and I've corrected the omission on his records. Do you have a pen?"

There was the sound of a drawer opening, paper shuffling, banging and a softly muttered curse of 'bollocks', in the background before Molly returned to the call.

"Yes, in my hand now."

Anna recited a telephone number and then a mobile number.

"Do you need me to repeat those?"

"No. I have them written down."

"Good, the first is the ward telephone number; the second is Captain James' mobile. I just wanted to check you had both. He isn't going to be able to speak to you directly yet as he's still rather out of things due to his medication, but he has been taken out of the medically induced coma which is positive progress.

"He will be going for another operation tomorrow. The Orthopaedic surgeon, Major O'Brien, is going to be performing a further procedure on the Captain's leg as things haven't been progressing quite as we would like."

"Okay. How is his abdominal wound, any infections or complications?" Molly asked.

"No, thankfully. It's just the leg that is causing concern, but Major O'Brien is an excellent surgeon. The Captain is in good hands."

"Thank you, it's a relief to have news."

"If you call the ward tomorrow evening, there should be more news. As I said, you've been added to his N.O.K. paperwork so there won't be any problems with making contact. All things being well, you might be able to speak to Captain James himself within the next 48 hours. I know he would like to speak to you."

Molly's silence from her end of the phone spoke loudly to Anna as she waited patiently for the overwhelmed young soldier to collect herself.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Molly sat back down onto the edge of her bed, conscience that she was shaking in reaction as her body calm down from its earlier adrenalin fuel fight or flight panic.

Mind racing, she considered her options. They were travelling back to the UK early doors tomorrow on an unglamorously army style troop transport on a Hercules to RAF Brize Norton followed by a bus back to barracks. What she needed to find was an opportunity to slip away. She had a vague idea of the distance between the air base and the hospital, Google would likely provide her with the answers of how to get from one place to another.

"Molly, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'll do that, phone tomorrow I mean. Thank you for calling. It means a lot to know how he's doing. With being stuck in Cyprus and all."

"Decompression and normalisation," Anna said wryly. "There's the normal way and then there's army way of dealing with life, I guess. I'm sure I know where you'd rather be regardless of the _army_ _way._ "

Despite herself, Molly laughed finding a comfortable sort of kinship because she was speaking to another person who got the lifestyle they shared.

"Thank you for looking after him, when I couldn't be there."

She'd want to say: tell him I love him, but with the lack of definition of what exactly the feelings between them meant, she instead asked, "Tell him I'm thinking about him, please."

"I will, but you'll be able to tell him yourself soon, I'm sure."

"I hope so, Anna." Molly replied a waver in her voice again.

"Keep strong, Molly. He's a fighter."

The tears were back, and Molly was aware that Anna, for all her kind patience, likely had other families to contact by phone with updates on loved ones.

"I should let you go, I guess. Thank you for the call. I can't explain how much it means to me to have news. Never was much of one with words me."

Anna laughed. "I think you express yourself with plenty of eloquence. I've said bollocks to the odd bit of furniture myself from time to time."

"Oh shit…I mean, sorry!"

Molly flushed, flustered on two counts as something occurred. One, that her clumsiness scrabbling for a pen, with resulting potty mouth, had been overheard and, two, the very real possibility that she was talking to someone of rank. "I mean, sorry about that, Mam."

"No rank, name, or number needed for this call Molly Dawes, just get yourself back to the UK safely and come and see your Captain when you can. I think you're the medicine he's been waiting to see."

"I will."

"Goodbye, Molly. I'll look forward to meeting you in person soon."

"Bye, and thank you again."

Molly ended the call, and lay back on her bed with a heavy sigh. She felt an odd mixture of relieved and tearful to have received news, even if it was news of a further operation. Feeling stronger, she forced herself up onto her feet, wiping away the damp trail of tears from her face. She walked over the wardrobe and pulled out her Bergen to start packing. After so many days of no news and no direction or purposed except her own guilt and anxiousness, it was good to know what to do.

Even if she didn't know how this was going to play out. One fact filled her with hope; he'd asked for her and in the face of that, nothing else mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Running a tired hand through her shoulder length hair, Anna grimaced as she felt the heaviness of the strands that showed it was passed due a wash. The need to wash and dry her hair that morning had been ignored in favour of rapid shower and faster return to the hospital. A decision she was now regretting.

The last ten days had been an emotional endurance test which was closer to a marathon than a sprint in terms of her remaining energy. She was feeling every second of her 58 years today, but she was doing what she did best in the face of pressure; cope. Outwardly projecting a collected front that communicated she had the current situation in hand. Inwardly she was scared of the moment when she stopped coping and finally broke. Swan on the surface, while kicking like hell underwater was the way she was wired and what she was expected to do, so she made it happen but it was costing the last of her reserves of emotional resilience.

She dropped down onto the sofa with a tired sign, before slipping her mobile back into the handbag by her side. That phone call had been harder to make than she'd anticipated. It hadn't helped that she was fully aware he wouldn't agree with her reasons for the call in the first place. Army Regulations be damned; she knew she had made the right decision.

A staged cough from the direction of the bedroom door made her turn to face her husband. After more than thirty-five years of marriage she could read his expression effortlessly. Brown eyes met blue and she knew she was busted.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked, keeping her voice calm despite the inner jumble of her emotions.

"Long enough."

By 'long enough' she was sure he meant for _most_ of the call of not all. More amused than annoyed, she considered that she probably should have checked he was actually in the shower before picking up her phone. She had been so eager to make the call that the thought hadn't occurred. She clearly had not credited him with being such a stealthy sod.

Straightening out from where he had been leaning against the doorway he stood with his arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, every inch of him projecting _Army_ officer. Anna looked back at him unruffled by his posture, and took a moment to admire the still crisp lines of his army greens, despite the many hours he had been wearing them at the hospital.

Elias James was a product of his genetics to his core. He was youngest son from an army family who's traditions stretched back to the Battle of Waterloo. That tended to guide his reactions to stress. In all the time she had known him he had always had the authority and confidence that came from his Sandhurst education and the composure and discipline of his medical training to hide his emotions behind. Behind those dark brown eyes, she could read him like an open book. In all the ways she was struggling, he was struggling.

Randomly, Anna wondered if it was going to feel strange to see him off to work in a suit or scrubs rather than the familiarity of his uniform. Army retirement and a moved to a role in the NHS had been his choice and the change was fast approaching. It occurred to her that he might miss his title of Colonel when being addressed by colleagues. Mr or Doctor didn't have quite the same ring to it.

As was her common bad habit, she voiced her thoughts before she could catch herself. "I'm going to miss your uniform."

"Filter-less as ever, my lovely, but shouldn't you be more worried about missing the man wearing the uniform? If clothes maketh the man, and all that." he said wryly.

"Hmm, we'll see. You can stop posturing in the doorway whilst you're at it, I'm not one of you medical students."

He laughed, dark brown eyes, so like their sons, lighting with amusement. He'd always had the ability to be a source of calm, controlled energy throughout their marriage and the highs and lows that life had thrown at them. Even now, when she could see the dark circles under his eyes, illustrating their shared tiredness, he still was managing to emanate the same quiet strength that she so loved.

She smiled, holding out her hand to him. He walked over to her and took her smaller hand into both of his own as he sat down.

"Do you want some tea? I was about to put on the kettle."

"Don't think you're going to change the subject that easily," he scolded, enjoying the way his wife's still attractive features creased into a scowl. "What did you think you were up to making that phone call?"

Head tilted and expression stubborn she remained silent.

"Anna from Queen Elizabeth Hospital, really? And before you try it, being in a flat two streets away from the back of the hospital car park isn't the same thing."

"I never claimed to be an Army nurse," she replied smoothly. "Or NHS one for that matter."

"You didn't explain that you weren't either. How did you get the contact details, Anna?"

By the mutinous tightening of her lips he knew she wasn't going to make this easy.

"You didn't go through his mobile, did you?"

"He shouldn't have his lock code set to his old High School locker number if he doesn't want people to look."

"People or you?" Elias crossed his arms over his chest again and stared at his wife. She stared straight back with equal determination.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Anna!"

"Fine. I found them in his laptop bag. There was a contact details list for the Platoon in there with other files and folders, and only one C.M.T. called Molly on the staff list."

"Anna," His tone was admonishing, but when he picked up her hand again and began stroking his thumb across her palm, the effect was softened. "There are ways of going about this sort of thing."

She turned to face him squarely, one leg tucked under, and he mirrored her body language, as she put her hands on his knees.

"Do you remember when he was injured during training on Salisbury Plain? How loopy he was with concussion but he insisted on coming home instead of staying at the hospital?"

Elias knew plenty about the infamous incident involving his son, Elvis and a Land Rover which should have been being using as an O.C. base during that particular exercise. Knew much more than his wife, in fact. Which had, at the time, been to Elvis and Charles's benefit.

Had Anna known the full extent of their concussion and fractured wrist causing moronic high jinks it would not have ended well. Their status as full grown adults and Lieutenants in the British Army would not have matter a damn. Their arses would have been grass at the hands of his wife's slow to light but fast burning when lit temper.

"Of course I remember. You sat with him through the night following head injury protocol to the letter despite him being released from hospital after all necessary tests."

He raised his hands to cup her shoulders stroking up and down her arms lovingly, but the tension in her frame was all too evident.

"Next morning two stubborn to a fault people met head on, pardon the pun, when you ordered him back to bed despite him being a full grown adult. I'm not sure who was more surprised, you or him, when he actually went back to bed as ordered.

"What does any of that have to do with you wilfully invading our son's privac–"

She shook off his hands with an angry huff of breath, and stood up suddenly. Pacing backwards and forwards across the room, she exercised her agitation and unfairly directed frustration because he was getting it. Struggling and failing to find the right words to explain her reasons she let her voice reflect her anger.

"As if you weren't in and out to both of them through the night as well. That doesn't matter. You're, missing the point I'm trying to make–"

He caught her by the hand, and she came to stop as he stood. Holding her by the shoulders, he could feel the way she was trembling in reaction.

"Then what is your point, my lovely?"

Anna's eyes suddenly glazed with tears as she met her husband's steady gaze.

"Do you remember how restless he was that night, how much he talked in his sleep?"

"Yes."

"All that night, and during all the nonsense talking, he never once called out for Rebecca the way he's been calling out for Molly."

"Oh, Anna. You need to let him sort this out. We don't know this girl from Adam."

An image of her normally strapping 6 foot plus son lying helpless in a hospital bed in a medically induced coma, vulnerable and helpless, flashed through her mind. The mental picture haunted her. No parent should have to see their child so broken.

She drew back from him sharply, and started to pace again.

"Don't we? Why can't you see why this is so important? He arrested twice in that M.E.R.T. transport, Elias, _twice_. The only reason he was alive when he was put on that Chinook was because of that girl and her actions in a combat zone.

"All I need to know to about that girl is that she saved him, and when he calls for her consciously, or not, it's because he needs her. If what our son needs is Molly then that's what he gets and the Army and its protocols can go to hell for all I care."

Elias could think of several reasons more why Anna's actions were flawed but remained quiet. What did it matter, what was done was done. Instead, he held his arms open to her and waited. Anna walked into them willingly as the tears that she had fought so hard to contain began to run down her face.

"My lovely, you've been so strong through all of this," he murmured. "Let it out."

He rocked her while she cried quietly against his chest until her breathing eventually evened out and her warm weight relaxed in his arms.

"Ten years in the R.A.M.C., Lieutenant James, and Army protocol can go to hell, hmm."

Lifting her head from his chest she half sobbed, half laughed in reply. "Says the Colonel who acquired the M.E.R.T team's Situational Report despite being nowhere in the chain of command for that operation."

"Says, the wife who went through the husband's desk to get the report he pulled strings to receive."

Anna laid her head against Elias's chest again as he smooth her hair with his hand. "You would never have brought it home if you had a problem with me reading it." she replied.

"Shameless as ever."

"You should be used to it by now."

"Indeed." Dropping a kiss onto her head he stepped away. "Are you okay?"

She nodded briskly, suddenly all business.

"Why don't you go have the shower you were supposed to be having while I was on phone, and get changed. I'll try cooking something."

"Dangerous, you realised neither of us have had a chance to get the shops? I think all that's in is eggs and cheese. Maybe some bread with a questionable sell by date. Not a ready meal to be had."

"More than thirty five years of marriage, and you still find ways to insult my, admittedly, limited cooking skills."

"We're a partnership, wife of mine, and cooking is one of my super-skills; yours not so much."

"I can manage omelette or something else with eggs, Elias."

"I've seen evidence of you _managing_ with eggs, and let's just say, I could write it up to Army Intelligence as a torture technique."

"Go get your shower, you piss taking sod. I'll call for a pizza. Satisfied?"

Elias returned to Anna and pressed a kiss to her lips again as she reached into her bag for her mobile.

"Make it a Veggie Hot One and I will be very satisfied."

"Better make that two pizza then." Anna grimaced. "If Charles was here he'd agree with me, you have the worst taste in–" She trailed off into silence as she realised what she'd said as her breath hitched.

Elias crouched down so they were at eye level. Lifting her chin with his finger he said, "He will get through this, Anna. I promise you."

"I know, I know." She said, gripping his hand. The tight grip turned to a pat as she collected herself again.

Elias raised his eyebrows in a silent question, which she replied to with a shaky smile and by letting him go.

"I know. Go on, jump in the shower. The faster we eat and you wash, the faster we can get back to our son."

~~o00o~~

Throughout her nursing career, Anna had always enjoyed the different rhythms that hospitals seemed to move through as day time routines changed to night. Earlier, she'd watched the night staff come onto shift, and how the general bustle of hospital settled to an almost mellow vibe. Like a heart beat slowing as sleep took over.

Sat at the side of Charles's bed, Anna drained the remains of her tea, pulling a face as she realised too late that the drink was stone cold.

Charles private room, part of the I.C.U., was in semi darkness, lit mostly from the corridor and nurses station outside. The overhead lights on the wall above the bed head had been turned off to avoid disturbing Charles, who was sleeping mostly peacefully.

Sitting in the dark listening to her son's steady breathing and the muted noises of the machines that continuously monitored his vitals was a vaguely cocooning experience.

Anna looked up as a Staff Nurse entered the room and moved to begin checking the monitors beside the bed. She smiled at the Corporal and watched as she added notes to Charles's chart before turning away from the bed.

Elias, sitting in the corner of the room with his laptop looked up to the Corporal and thanked her with a nod as she acknowledged him respectfully before leaving.

As the room became quiet again, Anna concentrated on watching the rise and fall of her son's chest under the hospital blankets and sheets. The slow, steady movement had become Anna's unspoken obsession since he'd arrived from Camp Bastion. Years of training meant she understood the facts and stats diligently recorded on his chart. The steady bleep of the heart rate monitor gave the same sort of feedback that spoke to the medical professional that she had been. It was the life affirming movement of his chest that comforted her as his mother. So she sat with a hand on his arm and watched and waited.

It was several hours later when Anna finally decided that the black, lifeless screen of Charles's mobile was starting to vex her. It was sat on the surface of the bedside cabinet innocently enough. Plugged into a charger, it was doing what mobile phones did when not in use–nothing. Absolutely, irrefutably, driving her to annoyance, _nothing._

Elias, from his corner of the room, was watching his wife scowling at the small device. Amusingly he could practically hear her thoughts as she sat willing it to light up. Looking back down at his laptop, he began typing again and whispered softly, "You know he's going to be in no state to use it in the immediate."

"That doesn't matter; I just thought it was important to keep it nearby in case of any messages, or such."

"Any messages?" Elias asked innocently, still typing steadily but he was smiling rather widely at the same time.

Anna looked up, recognised his smirk for what it was and sighed noisily. Having somebody know you _too_ well could be irritating at times.

"You can be an interminably insufferable know-it-all, sometimes."

"And yet you love me anyway, my lovely." he replied, lifting his blond head to blow her a playful kiss.

As if it had heard them talking, the black Samsung vibrated against the hard surface of the cabinet, buzzing twice and lighting up to show a text message on the locked screen. Anna snatched up the phone to silence the vibrating, and sat back down with it held against her chest.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Elias asked, confused by her reticence given her earlier staunch defence of her espionage activities and privacy invasion in the name of achieving such a message. When Anna didn't reply with one of her usual whip smart come backs, he became concerned.

Setting his laptop to the side he stood and walked over to his wife, whose expression looked agitated, for want of a better word. She handed the phone to him wordlessly.

"What's the matter, my lovely?" he asked, confused.

"What if she isn't coming?"

He stroked her cheeky absently as he looked down at the screen. "It's from Molly, she'll be here tomorrow morning." he replied and watched as his wife slumped back into the chair with relief.

"Thank you, Molly."

Elias replaced the phone on the cabinet and held his arms out to his wife. "Come here."

She stood, curving herself against her husband's chest with a sigh as his arms closed around her familiar warmth.

"It's getting late. Why don't you head back to the flat and get some sleep. I'll stay."

"What about you, you've been working all day."

"I can doss down over there." He inclining his head towards the chair he had been sat in earlier. "God knows, I slept in worse places in my time.

"You look exhausted, my lovely, after all your _Machiavellian_ machinations and sitting with him last night, I think you need some proper sleep. Charles has one more procedure to get through. Molly will be here tomorrow as you wanted so badly. It's time for you to rest. I'll be here with him."

A noise from the bed had them both turn towards Charles, as he moved restlessly muttering under his breath as his eyes opened. Clearly still in a state of confusion, he groaned quietly and raised his arm, hand reaching for the nasal cannula, as though the clear plastic tubing, that run down either side of his face from his nose, was agitating him.

Anna stepped to the side of the bed and caught his hand before he could remove the tubing, her eyes flicking to the heart rate monitor to check the read out.

"Charles, can you hear me?"

Charles blinked slowly several times, eyes half open as though he was struggling to focus.

"Mother?"

"Yes, sweetheart. You're Father is here, too."

Elias moved to Anna's, side and placed his arm around her waist. "Charles. How are you my boy?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Doctor?" he replied, voice rough and low.

Elias squeezed Anna tighter as they exchanged a smile.

"Better than I expected, if you're feeling well enough to take the piss." Elias replied.

"Don't know if I agree with you there. This must be what having a run in with rhino feels like."

"What do you expect if you will insist on being stupid enough to get yourself shot," Anna said, dropping a kiss onto his forehead. " _Twice_."

"Love you too, Mother. I'm sure you said that to me already…one…two days ago?" Charles turned to look at his mother, forehead creased as he tried to place where he was in the week. "You need to get some fresh pithy one-liners."

"It was three days ago, and with you being so out of it for the last couple of days I thought I'd save my best sarcasm for when you were awake enough to enjoy it," Anna replied.

Eyebrows raised, Charles looked at his mother with amusement. "And that's me put into my place. _Burn._ "

"It's meant with love, son, she's just pleased to see you awake. You only have to worry when she's being nice _._ " Elias replied, grinning. "And when she being soppy you _really_ have to worry."

"Perish the thought. Can I have some water? My mouth feels like I've been gargling gravel."

Anna poured water from a jug into a glass with a straw and reached over to place the straw in his mouth. "Just a little, just to wet you mouth for now."

His throat moved as he took two small mouthfuls of water before she removed the glass.

"Thanks."

"Better?" she asked.

He nodded yes in reply and shifted restlessly in the bed as though trying to get comfortable. His eyes drifted closed again, dark lashings fanned out against the deep shadows under his eyes. Anna, not for the first time, noticed how pale he looked against the white of the pillow and sheets.

"What day is it? Bloody drugs, I can't keep track..."

"It's Wednesday evening."

"Right…feels more like Monday…" he said, sounding less awake than before and, to Anna's concern a little breathless suddenly.

Anna's eyes flicked to the EKG Monitor. His blood pressure was low, much lower than it had been. Elias was already on the same page as his wife as he pulled out Charles's chart and scanned over the last set of observations entered by the nursing staff.

"Charles?" Anna shook arm gently. "Are you still awake?" He moved his head in response but did not open his eyes.

Elias moved to the head of the bed and Anna stepped back automatically. Eyes urgent, he pointed to the door while pulling a stethoscope out of his pocket.

"Go and get someone from the nursing station." She left quickly without argument.

"Charles, I know it difficult but I need you stay awake and speak to me. Are you in pain anywhere?"

Charles opened his eyes obediently, but it was achieved with obvious effort and he seemed dazed.

"Not sure, head feels heavy…can't focus...tired…"

"I know, I know, but I need you to stay awake. Do you have pain anywhere?"

Elias removed the dressing from his abdominal wound before moving to his leg. Underneath the dressing the lower limb was swollen looking, the skinned mottled with additional bruising that had not been there earlier. He touched the leg wound gently to check the tightness of the skin. Charles flinched with a loud groan.

Anna stepped back into the room with the Ward Sister following behind. Seeing Charles injured leg now exposed she froze by the end of the bed.

"Oh hell." she said, hand to her mouth.

Another Nurse entered and switched on the lights and the formerly quiet cocoon of darkness ended abruptly. The room began to fill with staff. While everything in her screamed for her to move towards her stricken son, she forced herself to step back to give the personnel around the bed room to work.

"Page Major O'Brien!" Elias ordered, "I want him up here asap to look at the leg, tell him I suspect an internal bleed."

Anna backed out of the room and stood outside staring through the window as medical staff swarmed around the bed. Minutes later a scrub clad Major O'Brien arrived and Charles's bed was removed from the room surround by medical staff.

Anna could only look on helplessly as Charles was wheeled down the corridor and out of sight.

When somebody touched her shoulder she jumped in fright. Looking up she saw Elias standing in front of her.

"Anna?"

"I'm fine."

"You understand what's happening?"

"He's going back to theatre as an emergency. Suspected internal bleeding. We both know the risks of post op complications of an open fracture." she replied, her voice quiet and small in the empty corridor.

"What can I do for you, my lovely? What do you need?"

"I need you to go with our son and make sure that he comes out of that theatre alive. That's what I need."

Elias nodded, swallowing before answering her as though words were suddenly difficult to find.

"Where will you be? After…"

"Here, I think. I don't know, just call my mobi–"

She cut off mid word, eyes suddenly full of tears. Elias's arms came around her immediately.

"What is it?"

"I forgot to tell him he had a message, he should have known before he went into theatre that's she coming home. I should have called her sooner, she should have been here now."

"He will be fine, I swear."

She buried her head against his chest, trembling. "I can't lose another child. I won't survive it again."

He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look up at him, to hear the promise in his voice. "You won't, I swear to you. I'll stay with him every moment he's under and bring him back up here to you myself afterwards. I just need you to be strong a little longer. Wait out a little longer. Can you do that for me? For Charles?"

She nodded, than stepped away from the comfort of his arms.

"Go, I'll be fine."

He pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering long enough to feel the way she leaned into his touch.

"I love you," he said stepping backwards away from her, the same way she'd seem him say goodbye so many times before in the departure area at Brize Norton. Always stepping backwards, holding eye contact until the last possible moment.

"Ditto." She said as he turned and run down the corridor.

Returning to the empty side room felt wrong to Anna, so she found another place to wait. The hospital Chapel was a rather utilitarian space in design but had peaceful quality. She picked here, not for religious reasons, so much as the wall of windows on one side of the room which faced the military use Operating Theatres positioned on the opposite side of a central grassed garden area in another part of the building. Silently she sat in the dark, looking out towards the part of the in which building her son was being operated on, until the room slowly filled with the light.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note**

I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the reviews. It was a lovely surprise to receive so many comments. I really appreciate that people took time to leave their thoughts.

I meant to post this chapter earlier (apologies), but it just kept getting longer and longer with no natural place to break it. Hence the delay. I ended up moving a short paragraph of Anna's perspective into the end of Chapter Two to balance it out a bit.

The first two chapters of this story quite closely follow the time frame and pace of the TV series through Episode Five. Chapter Three is where the story narrative is going to become A.U. and deviate and extend passed the Episode Five timeframe. Hopefully the differences won't jar too much.

This Chapter re-uses some of the text from the Our Girls scripts in Episode Five. No infringement is intended.

As an interesting F.Y.I., the Scripts are available online for free on the BBC's website in the Writer's Room section. Google and be entertained. ;)

 **Chapter Three**

Smurf had been sitting in the waiting area outside of the Boss's room for quite some time. Since he had become mobile again, his sleepless night-time routine had involved a lot of walking. His wandering feet always took him to this area of the hospital eventually. This was the first time he had found the courage to stop and sit, even though–or perhaps because–the hospital room he kept passing by each night was empty.

Smurf wasn't in denial about his nocturnal habits. He recognised his inability to enter the room as cowardice, but the fact that he kept coming back to this corridor night after night offered hope he might eventually be strong enough to speak to Captain James.

Tonight he had received worrying news about the Boss and his head was filled with a mixed up rush of guilt, regret, and anger. None of the emotions were new to him but they seemed stronger tonight, clearer. Like he could taste them in his mouth and feel the stress of them thumping through him like a pulse.

Smurf knew he had no practical skills assist, or the right words to say to the Boss's parents, to help. Sitting outside the empty room waiting for the Boss to return, was all he really had to offer. So he waited.

He had a newspaper on his lap, found abandoned on a chair earlier, open to the crossword page. Pen in hand, he looked like he was attempting the word puzzle. He was actually practising writing with his non-dominant hand as his left hand was still strapped to his side following the shooting. The attempts to form the words were untidy but keeping his hand busy scribbling gave him some relief from the thoughts that spun and spun around in his head.

 ** _Geraint, Geraint, Geraint_** ; the words stretched across the page in uneven black strokes of Biro.

 ** _Dylan, Dylan, Dylan;_** followed below, no less messily.

Identical twins, Geraint had come into the word ten minute before Smurf and had seemed to lead the way in all things from that moment. It had always perplexed Smurf how someone who saw the same face in the mirror as him could be so fundamentally different in all ways, both import and stupid.

Geraint was right handed, he left. Geraint was easy with people, with a sunny disposition, he was taciturn and inclined to be more bluff and bluster than trusting. Geraint had always known his direction after school; straight into the Army inspired by their Grandfather. He'd wandered into further education and played at an Engineering course at the local college. Geraint was their Grandfather's favourite, Smurf more of an afterthought.

When he was honest with himself, which wasn't often, Smurf could admit as much as he loved his twin brother he'd been jealous. He'd always struggled with those diametrically opposed feelings. When Geraint was shot they had becoming even more twisted inside his head, and impossible to balance.

Suddenly he'd no longer had a mirror image of himself to talk to at the end of a Skype call, or over the table in the local pub. For the first time in his life there was no one to follow, and it had gutted him to the core. What else could he do but pick up from where Geraint had led and join the Army.

For a time he had done well. Top recruit at Catterick in his intake group, he'd requested and joined Geraint's platoon and even been put into his section. It had never occurred to Smurf that he'd been living his dead brother's life because it had become his life, until it had all gone to hell on that bridge and he was left in hospital with long nights and days with his own thoughts for company to contemplate all destruction he had caused. By force of will, he'd got the emotion of it all contained, silently churning inside of him, but contained.

The thing that broke him in the end happened on one of his nightly wanderings. He'd walked his usual path to this corridor and had seen the Boss's mother leaving his room with a small child who was perhaps five years old. The little boy had tearfully stopped to ask his grandmother why Daddy wasn't waking up and something inside of Smurf had fractured apart.

For the first time since Geraint's death, he'd reached out to her by phone. She came despite the ungodly hour. Over untouched cups of vending machine coffee, in an empty hospital canteen he let it all come out. The unpleasant ugly truths: joining the army, his unresolved feelings about Geraint and his reckless actions due to the constant lack of simple calm in his head. The minefield and mountain CP, his confused and unrequited feelings for Molly, his discovery of the feelings between Molly and the Boss and all that had followed on the bridge. All the consequences he had brought down on his Captain, Molly, himself. He laid it all out and his mother listened without judgement, held him when he needed to be held, then told him to forgive himself and forgive Geraint for not coming home.

They'd both cried, painful shuddering sobs which echoed around the empty canteen. Afterwards, he'd felt hollowed out emotionally. That had been yesterday.

Today he knew he wasn't fixed and he had no clear idea how to fix the consequences of his actions but he wanted to try. Even if he hadn't yet found the courage to speak to the Boss, he'd at least found the courage wait instead of walk by. It wasn't _enough._ Perhaps nothing was ever going to be enough, but it was a solid place to start.

~~o00o~~

There was a very small voice in the back of Molly's mind that kept reminding her that this was not the Army way of doing things. That she should be on a bus with the rest of her Section returning to Bulford Barracks, not in a rental Corsa making up lies about having special dispensation to visit the hospital because she was the Medic. She'd cast her unwitting Nan in the role of getaway driver, a fact that would have caused her great amusement if she could have been told.

There was something in her Dad's questions and comments that suggested he knew she was up to something. Since Dave Dawes had never been good and at seeing much beyond his own self-interest and whatever was in front of his nose, Molly was fairly convinced that it was her guilty conscience, not her Dad discovering the ability of empathy, that was making her think her lies had been noticed.

The little rental car covered the distance up to M6 to Selly Oak efficiently enough. Molly spent most of the journey staring out of the window lost in thought while her family's chatter and banter filled the car, drowning out her silence.

The white concrete and glass frontage of the hospital was a welcome sight to Molly as they pulled up outside in an ambulance bay. She muttered apologies and goodbyes before rushing out of the car into the building, not stopping to see if they had been heard or accepted.

After another in a long line of sleepless nights followed by the plane journey, she was exhausted. It was taking real effort to run with her Bergen and kit banging against her back, on legs that felt as heavy as lead. She pushed herself on, stepping into the lift when the doors opened, as she restlessly tapped out an impatient rhythm against the webbing strap across her shoulder with her hand, willing the lift to go faster.

~~o00o~~

Elias held to the promise he had made Anna and did not leave Charles' side throughout his time in the Operating Theatre and the Recovery Room afterwards. Hospital protocol meant, as a family member, he was not allowed to be an active participant in the operation. He'd stood silently on the side lines watching his team carry out every detail of the procedure.

Charles had come around briefly in the recovery room. Groggy and disoriented, he'd been awake enough for Elias to explain what was happening before falling asleep again. Elias followed behind when he was returned to his room and waited as the day staff settled Charles, updated his chart with his observations and left.

Anna wasn't waiting in the room as she said she might be. Elias hoped she would have returned to the flat for some much needed sleep but knew her well enough to be confident she was elsewhere in the hospital. He decided to wait with Charles for a while before contacting her to come back. He wanted to give Charles longer to sleep of the remains of the anaesthetic but admitted to himself that he needed sometime alone with his son to collect and centre himself before joining his wife.

Elias packed up his laptop and paperwork, abandoned from earlier, and left briefly to visit his office to drop off the items and change into uniform. He returned to Charles's room and sat in a chair under the window, taking a moment to enjoy the simple pleasure of the warmth of the sunshine on his skin while gathering his thoughts. Running through a well practise relaxation technique learned after his tours during the Iraq Conflict, he closed his eyes and worked through the familiar, restful routine for a short time.

He was visited by Major O'Brien, the surgeon who'd operated on Charles. Who checked on his sleeping patient, and somewhat covertly his Superior Officer, and left happy with the condition of both.

Without being asked, one of Elias' NCOs brought him his morning habit of a cup of strong sweet tea and jam smothered toast and left him alone again after a respectful, "Morning, Sir."

It amused Elias to know that his team were trying to subtly–or not so subtly, as he was onto them– _manage_ him in a very Army-family way.

Elias finished his breakfast while looking out of the window into the waiting area where Private Smith, from Charles's platoon, appeared to have decided to wait out. He knew Smith often passed by the room, the Nursing team had informed him as much, but he'd never stopped or tried to speak to Charles and had always kept a respectful distance. Elias knew enough about the circumstances which lead to Charles's injuries to know the part Private Smith had played, but bore the young soldier no malice.

Walking to the end of the bed, Elias took a moment to check Charles over, and was satisfied by what he saw. The leg wound looked better. His blood pressure and observations were normal. Charles' sleep seemed lighter, as Elias watched his son shifted his head against his pillows his breathing regular and unlaboured. Elias knew that this was the corner he'd needed to turn, recovery wise. He'd be awake soon enough when his body was ready.

Elias left the room with his mobile phone in his hand and started to tap out a message to Anna to find out where she was but he didn't send it, instead deleting it with a soft smile. He knew where she would be, the message was unnecessary. Turning to the right, he headed off down the corridor.

Passing the lift on his journey, he stepped back to let a dark haired CMT in full uniform, Bergen hanging from her shoulder, rush out off the lift and off down the corridor towards the ward doors.

Smiling to himself, he stepped onto the lift and pressed the button for the ground floor. Anna would be pleased. If he was not mistaken, Molly had arrived as promised.

Elias found Anna, where he knew she would be, on the Children's Ward in which she had been a volunteer for many years. She was sitting in the middle of a cushion pile and sheet den reading Winnie the Pooh to three of young children with the help of one of the nurses.

Standing in the doorway, he waited until she looked up before extending his hand to her with a reassuring smile. Anna stood with an answering, if slightly tremulous smile, and handed the book to the nurse who pulled her into a quick hug, well aware of situation regarding Charles.

"Ready to go see our son, my lovely?" Elias asked, dropping a kiss onto her forehead as she took his extended hand.

"Never been more ready in my life."

~~o00o~~

Molly rushed into the ward, turning towards the nursing station but stopped abruptly as Smurf stepped into her path.

"He came back from an operation earlier, he's asleep." Smurf pointed towards a side room. "You've come just in time."

"How is he?"

"They don't tell me much, but it was an emergency operation last night. He's been back in the room for a while. Bossman's dad just left him so that must mean he's in a better place. They don't often leave. His parents, I mean."

"He's a fighter." Molly said, trying to convince herself the saying meant more than empty words.

She turned her back to Smurf and stepped to the window with four quick steps. Behind the blinds she could see the him lying propped up in bed, head turned towards the window and eyes closed. Her eyes flicked to the monitors at the side of the bed, straining to read the peaked traces that showed his heart was beating steady and strong.

 _He was okay_.

Molly steadied herself against the wall as the wave of relief that raced through her nearly sent her to the floor on suddenly rubbery legs.

"Some things you just can't fight." Smurf said flatly, sounding worn-out.

Molly's face fell with sadness. She was pretty sure that Smurf wasn't referring to Captain James with his last remark. It was a reminder of the unintentional hurt she had caused. Looking back through the window again, Molly gathered herself together emotionally and physically. His sleeping face was smooth, untroubled.

 _He was doing okay._

She owed Smurf her attention and apologies. She pressed her palm to window, and half turned towards Smurf, her heart and attention split.

"Smurf, I'm sorry. I understand if you hate me."

"Shut up," he replied, but without rancour.

"How are you doing?" she asked tentatively, taking in the brace strapping his arm to his shoulder.

"I got a lucky escape."

"Hmm... not that lucky."

"The scars will heal."

"I know it's all my fault." Molly said, eyes dropping to her feet, fingers rubbing against her temple in an effort to settle the thumping headache gathering behind her eyes.

Smurf paused, studying her downturned head with a pained expression. Clearly fatigued, with dark circles under her eyes she looked anxious with her always expressive eyes looking huge in her too pale face. In other circumstance, back at the FOB for example, he'd have given her a hug. It wasn't his place to do that now. Wasn't her fault, wasn't his. Just the shit end of stick as usual.

"I guess you can't help your feelings any more than I can help mine."

Her head shot up. "Nothing happened between me and the boss. I mean... nothing actually happened."

"It didn't need to, did it?"

"If I could have my time again..." Molly trailed off, and looked back into the Captains room, lost inside her own head for a moment.

 _She'd do it all different. Pay more attention, make better decisions, stop the cluster fuck that brought everything crashing down around her ears from happening, protect the people she loved better…_

Smurf interrupted her anxious thoughts. "What? Seriously, what would you do differently?"

"All of it. I'd do everything differently."

"But you'd still love the Boss." Smurf's expression tightened when she didn't deny it to be the truth in his bald statement.

She instead turned fully back towards the window, and placed a second palm against the glass, as though seeking a stronger connection with the room and the man within it.

The final tiny shred of hope Smurf still clung to slipped away like a balloon in the wind; gone and out of his grasp _._ She wasn't his to want or hold. Never had been.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already."

Smurf shrugged, but he could see from her body language that she wasn't really listening. He watched as she pressed harder against the glass, knowing that something had changed.

A smile curve her lips, her shoulders visibly sagged with relief before she straighten again as if energised. The dark eyes that had haunted her in her dreams recently were open. He was awake and looking back at her through the barrier of the glass.

Molly's hand was on the door handle when a nurse appeared by her side paper file in hand. She looked in through the door over Molly's shoulder.

"Ahh, he's awake. Are you here to see Captain James?" she asked friendly enough, but with a clear intent as she manoeuvred between Molly and the door, effectively acting as another barrier. Interestingly, her attention seemed to be more on Smurf than Molly.

Molly stared at her wide eyed with fright. I hadn't occurred to her that she might not be allowed in to see him. The nurse, Anna, has said it wouldn't be a problem.

"Are you, Anna?" Molly asked, unsure. "I thought I had been added to Captain James' NOK paperwork."

"No, my name is Corporal Willowby." she answered absently while scanning the file in her hand. "Are you Molly?"

Molly nodded, heart in mouth, having to swallow passed the sudden lump in her throat to say, "Molly Dawes."

"Of course, please go in. I'm just going to check on something. The nursed stepped back, ushering Molly through the door.

When Smurf tried to follow, she turned to address him. "Private Smith, perhaps you should head back to bed."

Molly walked over to the bed end and watched him track her progress across the room with his eyes, before he turned toward the door to where Smurf was being held back from crossing the threshold like an unwelcome guest.

Corporal Willoughby looked at Captain James with a question, "Sir?"

He nodded briefly to the nurse before turning back to Molly.

Smurf entered and stood slightly back from Molly as the nurse collected the Captain's notes from the end of the bed, wrote quickly on the front page, and then left the room.

"How did you know we were here?" Molly asked.

"I'm not sure you are. Morphine." he replied, voice rough.

"Well I'm drug free and I can see you, so I guess I must be here." Molly tried for a tentative smile, and he responded in kind, eyes fixed on her intently.

Smurf moved uncomfortably, catching the Captains attention. "Smurf?"

"I'm drug free too, Boss."

"Are you?" Molly asked with a hint of sass.

Smurf took Molly's cue gratefully and tried for humour. "Are you talking about the hospital drugs? Oh yeah, I'm full to bursting with them... can't give me enough."

Captain James smiled, but his eyes were on Molly the whole time.

A heavy silence landed between them, and Smurf felt like an unnecessary spare part as the Captain and Molly seemed to have a wordless conversation for several moments.

Smurf recognised this moment for what it was. He was the interloper, but this might be his only chance to make his amends for all that he cost Molly and his Captain.

"I dunno what I was thinking, Boss, I lost control." he said, voice rushed.

Captain James's expression was heavy with regret. "We all did."

"Taught me I'm no soldier."

"I'm proud to have served alongside you, Smurf."

A loaded moment passed between Smurf the Captain and Molly, each of them feeling the weight of the words unspoken. It ended when the Captain's eyes moved back to Molly. Molly took two small steps closer to the side of the bed before she hesitate then stopped, her finger curled around the end of the bed, knuckles white with the tightness of her grip.

Smurf watched Molly being drawn towards the Captain like they were two planets. One gravitating towards the other as naturally as breathing. They had returned to the same silent conversation again but it seemed to have a more anxious edge to it now. Molly's eyes were no longer lightened by her earlier relief-filled smile and humour. The Boss's face was smooth, almost expressionless but his eyes were on fire with something deeply painful to witness. Green eyes on brown, and Smurf recognised he had been forgotten again.

Knowing his moment was over, Smurf said, "Anyway, I'm not missing the hospital breakfast."

"You going?"

"I've seen the boss. I'm outta here."

He tried again, to make a silent connection with his Captain. To express all his regrets in the few seconds he had left. An almost imperceptible nod from the Captain and the conversation was over. Smurf looked to Molly on last time, and turned toward the door.

Molly followed Smurf's progress to the door, her face a picture of guilty regret. Charles' eyes never left Molly's face and when she turned back to him she found him watching her intensely. It made her want to hold her next breath until she was sure she had seen him take his.

Smurfs exit seemed to release something from within him as the Captain James facade that he'd managed project around Smurf disappeared and his dark eyes glazed over with tears.

Molly stepped closer, all hesitation gone, flooded with a need to offer some sort of protection to his sudden vulnerability as he reached out to her with an open hand. She put her hand into his and his long finger closed around her smaller hand, engulfing her fingers in his warmth as she wrapped her other hand around his arm, anchoring herself to him with a bone deep sense of relief and rightness.

"Hey you," she said, "you're gonna be alright."

He took a shuddering breath, his jaw trembling slightly.

Her eyes anxiously traced over him as he lay propped in the bed, following the shape of his body under the blankets, the sensors, wires and tubing attached to his skin, and finishing with his dark eyes as her own filled with tears. His normally vital and healthy body had been laid to ruin. His tanned face was ashen; lips almost white. He looked thinner, though he'd always been long and lean rather than heavy with muscle like Kinders, but now he looked gaunt.

The worst of the many vivid images that her mind tormented her with in nightmares night after night, rushed through her mind as she forced herself to take shaky breath. The memory of the cold sweats and terror that had plagued since she'd left him behind in the hospital in Bastion did not pass and she started to tremble.

One thought loud in her head scream: _you caused this_.

"Come here"–he tugged on her hand, drawing her towards the bed–"you're too far away."

"That's not allowed, infection control–" she garbled, snatches of her training from Keogh coming back to her in a rush.

"I really couldn't give a shi–" he stopped himself before the curse word could completely escape, and took a breath. "I don't care. Please, Molly."

She surrendered to the need in his voice, moving to sit on the edge of the bed between the bed rails as he captured both of her hands. Raising one to his lips, he pressed a kiss against her palm.

"You came back to me."

"Always," she whispered.

"Thought you were here before. Waking up from dreams, or there would be a dark haired nurse doing some sort of observations in the dark and I'd think it was you. At the hospital in Bastion, I asked for you a couple of times before they transferred me. Might have been when I arrived here…it's difficult to keep track with the drugs. It never was you though.

"Are you really here now?" She squeezed his hands tighter.

"I'm really here. I promise. I'm sorry it took me so long. I tried to see you at the hospital in Bastian but they'd taken you straight into theatre." Her voice was rushed and anxious, words tumbling out around her fast, upset pants of breath.

"I didn't get a chance to go back, they pulled the flight to Cyprus forward. I think Major Beck thought we'd do better on decompression sooner.

"Afterward, I tried to get out of decompression, but Kinders wouldn't listen… he just wouldn't–"

A tear tracked down her face, followed by another. Charles caught it on his thumb.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now. Seeing those glorious eyes of yours is exactly the kind of medicine I've been needing."

"How are you?" she whispered. "Really?"

"I was doing better last week. Well enough to meet with Major Beck to sort some things out, but they weren't happy with my leg. Upped my meds, so I was out of it again. There were problems last night. I'm still here though, so I guess I'll go with I'm doing okay."

He smiled, but Molly didn't smile back.

Charles brushed his fingers across her face tenderly, concerned by the dark circles under her eyes and how they were wide with anxiousness and glazed with tears. Cupping her cheek, he could feel her trembling.

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

She was silent for a moment, something in her eyes showing her inner struggle, then his heart broke as she seemed to crumble like a great weight was crushing her from above.

"That this is all my fault."

She bent forward, forehead touching his chest as wracking sobs shook her shoulders.

"How can you think that?"

She kept her head down, whispering into his chest through sobs, "Bashira, Sohail, Smurf, you. It's all my fault."

"Molly, it was me who left you in the dark about Rebecca and Sam because I frankly couldn't think how best to bring it up. We wouldn't have needed the conversation in the compound if I hadn't been a coward and fucked up.

"Smurf, the shooting, everything was down to me. My fuck up, never yours."

"Won't you look at me?" She shook her head, resisting him until he held her face with both hands and applied gentle pressure. "Please."

She submitted to the pleading tone in his voice and raised her tear streaked face wordlessly.

"It's going to be okay. I need you to understand, something. Before you the Army life was all I wanted, all I'd know. Then I met you, and you're all I want. Any failure lies with me. I met with Major Beck, resigned my commission–"

"You can't do that. I won't _let you do that!"_ She put her hands in hair desperation on her face. "What have I done?"

Her flip from devastated tears to tearful fury back to devastated tears, was so fast it was bewildering as she flew out of his hands and off the bed so fast she crashed against the wall at her back.

"I'm not worth that cost."

"Molly!"

"I'm not worth that. You can't, _please._ Not for me. I never forgive myself." She flipped again, furious to frantic, frantic to destroyed.

Charles stretched his hand out to her again. The women who'd been brave enough to crawl across a mine field to save a colleague and able to calm a small child wearing a suicide belt was unravelling in front of him and he was stuck in this bloody bed.

Wincing, he stretched out further to try to reach her. "Molly, come here."

"No, I can't." she said, panicking. Her hand reached down to collected her Bergen from the floor. "I can't do this…I've gotta go."

"God damn it, Molly, if you try to leave this room, I'll be coming right after you."

"Fuck hell!"

His loud groan of pain made Molly turn in time to see him struggling to sit up and stretching out as though trying to grab her before he fell back against the bed, he face sheet white with pain.

She abandoned Bergen and rushed back to him grabbing his hand, eyes on his now racing heart rate on the monitor.

"What are you doing, you've got to keep still, your injuries–"

He held her hand in a death grip, head thrown back against the pillows, eyes screwed tight shut in pain.

"So help me God, you make one more move to leave this room and I'll do worse." he said through gritted teeth, eyes open again and face stony. She almost expected him to call her Private Dawes next, but for the hospital room they could have been back at the FOB with him giving her a rinsing.

"You don't get to say I'm not to blame, and then blame yourself in the same breath. Both can't be true and I won't let you run from us. You're too damn important to me."

"You're in pain," she said, her voice small.

"I'm fine, just give me a minute." He said, taking a deep breath and pulling her hand until she sat on the side of the bed again. She put her hand tentatively against his chest and could feel his heart rate and breathing settle.

"If I'm not to blame, then neither are you. I don't want you to resign because of me. Or you should at least take time to consider your choices."

Charles lips quirked in a smile. "Major Beck said something broadly similar, perhaps a little less polite, but similar." He held her face in his hands. "I don't want to hear you say it's your fault ever again."

"Well, ditto." she said stubbornly.

"I think, perhaps, we both need to file this under 'shit happens' for the time being. I will if you will."

Molly seemed to deflate, all fight gone. "Alright, if you promise not to pull a stunt like that again. You could have really hurt yourself, you Muppet. Isn't two bullet holes enough damage for you?"

"Funnily enough, my mother said something rather similar." he replied, smiling.

"Wise lady."

"Indeed. Now come here." He held his arms out to her and she moved closer, letting his arms move around her back and tug her towards his chest.

"I can't!" Molly protested.

"You want me to stay still, then you can and you will. There's no bullet holes in this part of my shoulder." He indicated his right shoulder, then guided her head towards the spot.

"What about…"

"Molly, I've been waiting for more than two weeks to hold you, stop bloody arguing with a wounded man and lay down with me."

"Stubborn prannet."

"Takes one to know one."

She stretched out tucked between his side and the bed rail. "You're wired up to drips and sensors, with a hole in one side of you and a broken leg on the other, how is this supposed to work?"

"And yet it is," he said, wrapping one arm around her back, and pulling her arm across his chest. "Guess I win this round, ehh? You look exhausted, we both need this, stop fighting me."

Molly capitulated, relaxing her body into the bed. "This is going to work about as long as it takes for Corporal Whats-it Willow-something-or-other to come in and chase me out."

"Well, it's your good luck to be in bed with a Captain, then isn't it?" He laughed, but sounded tired. "You need this as much I as do, admit it."

She sighed. "Fine, I agree, I couldn't hardly sleep in Cyprus, I was so bloody miserable being stuck there with no news."

He tightened his arm around her back. "You're here now."

He stroked down her neck, finger moving to massage against the still tense muscles. When his finger encountered a leather lace, he pulled and found Smurf's ring at the end of it.

"Molly, do you have something to tell me about this?" he asked.

"It's nothin', not what it seems. Smurf asked me to look after it. His mother had some sort of gloomy ideas that messed with his head. She was right, as it happens."

Charles sighed, irritated, despite recognising that he was being unreasonable. Trust Smurf to have found a way to get her to accept that bloody ring, despite his orders.

It was the same way he'd felt when they'd been in that filthy building waiting out for Bhadri. Wanting and needing to speak to Molly, but unable to find a way because she'd thrown up her emotions walls, leaving him stranded on the outside. His entire fault because he'd failed to give her the honesty of his feelings and tell her about Sam. He'd been stuck in a trap of his own making and Smurf had been able to simply walk into the room and talk to her easy as breathing. He'd be so damn jealous, and insecure and worried that he was going to lose her…

"You want me to take it off, don't you?" Molly asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Am I being a Neanderthal if I say yes?"

"I don't know what that means, but I'm guessing that _yes_ is the correct answer _._ " She nuzzled against the warmth of his shoulder, sleepy and comfortable. "Will you do your wounded-man act if I say no?"

"Possibly." he grumbled.

"Can't win that argument, can I." she said, raising her head briefly while he lifted the string over her head.

"Give it here, please." He dropped the offending ring into her hand and she shoved into her pocket. "Happy now are you, caveman?"

"Very amusing. I've always known you're more intelligent that you let on. I'm onto you."

She giggled then shifted against his shoulder trying to stretch out the sore muscles in her neck and head, before tensing worried that the movement would hurt him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just getting headache with no sleep and having my hair pinned to my barnet for too long."

Charles's hand moved to her hair, fingers shifting through her plait until he found the hair pins holding the style in place. Removing them, he unpinned hair and smoothed it out."

"There, and you didn't even fight me on it." He ran his hand through her hair, stroking the silky mass rhythmically. Molly yawned.

"What would be the point?"

"You're learning…"

"I guess the Corporal can do me for a uniform code violation when she pops in, anyway that's nothing since I went AWOL at Brize to get here fast–"

Molly froze realise what she'd said and expecting a telling her off.

He ran his fingers across her cheek soothingly. "I don't care, I needed you here faster. I'll speak to Kinders if it comes to anything."

"Are you sure this is okay?" Molly asked, trying to raise her head.

"Stop worrying about rampaging Corporals and any other disaster scenarios you have running around in that head of yours. I'm better than good and you're where I need you to be."

"But…"

"Molly! I'm wounded, that means you have to stay put. End of discussion."

She giggled, and it was a warm and welcome sound as they lay together in companionable silence taking comfort from simply being together.

It was only a few minutes later when Charles realised that her breathing and slowed down and her body had become a welcome but heavier weight by his side because she was asleep.

Pressing a kiss to her hair, he laid cheek against the crown of her head and gathered her closer.

"Welcome home, Molly Dawes."

~~o00o~~

Charles jerked awake to the sound of the door opening. Turning towards the noise, he expected to find one of the nurses not Corporal Kinders. The bemused expression on the young NCO faces was almost comical. He met Kinders' wide-eyed stare squarely, without embarrassment.

Kinders' eyes tracked over the couple lying in the bed. Molly was sound asleep laying on her side, slight form tucked between the bed guard and Captain James. Her arm lay across him with their hands clasped, finger twined together and laid flat against the centre of his chest. His other hand was cradling the back of her head and stroking through her loose hair, as she lay with her head on his shoulder and face turned towards their clasped hands. The intimacy between them was clear as day and Kinders wondered; how had he missed this?

"Kinders." Charles said quietly, causing the Corporal to startle.

Kinders braced to attention hastily, the respectful gesture–normally delivered so automatically–was almost an afterthought as his scattered thoughts finally caught up with his superior's quiet mention of his name.

"Sir."

"As you were, Kinders. Have you come to collect my little runaway?" Charles asked, his voice sotto voce but with enough possessive warmth to leave Kinders in no doubt that what he was seeing was real.

"Captain James?" Kinders said, copying Charles' whispered tone but sounding uncomfortable. "I don't understand. We thought she left Brize to come and see Smurf."

"No, she came to see me." Charles sighed heavily. "We realised we were developing feelings for each other during the tour and were waiting out until we got back to Brize. That plan didn't exactly include me getting shot and Molly being left behind to deal on her own. She shouldn't have skipped out–"

Kinders waved his hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter, I already filed the necessary paperwork with the Guard House to cover her absence. After all that she done and seen, I didn't want her to get into any bother."

"Thank you. Regard _us_ , Major Beck knows, I met with him last week. It's been handled through the necessary channels."

Kinders nodded, looking reassured but still confused. "But Smurf…she had his mother's ring around her neck."

"Neck not finger," he said with emphasis. "Smurf asked her to look after it for him. I suspect he had stronger motivations, but Molly thought she was helping him by agreeing to keep it. His mother unintentionally messed with his head by writing to him with her worries that something was going to happen to him on tour, Molly was trying to be supportive."

"You both managed to keep it on the low down successfully. I had no idea." Kinders smiled hesitantly. "I talked to her in Cyprus about her being loved up with Smurf. I'm surprised she didn't rinse me for it at the time, but she's not been herself since we left Bastion; lacking her normal spark, withdrawn, not sleeping. All makes sense now." He gestured towards where Molly was sleeping. "She looks peaceful."

Charles smiled, tightening his arms around Molly as though assuring himself again that she was really there. "She's exhausted. I think she used the last of her energy getting herself here. Not the reunion I was planning for after we got back, but needs must."

"And Smurf?"

"Knows. On the day of the shooting he overheard a private conversation between us in the bunker. You know the rest." Kinders recognised the _lack_ of expression on the Captains face. He'd seen it before when he was angry or worried and masking it.

Hindsight was a nasty bitch, Kinders thought. Looking back with his current perspective he could see many ways the Smurfs behaviour had been troubling over a long period during their time at the FOB. They'd all missed it, or dismissed it. Well, all except Molly.

"Smurf's personal situation was complicated before this. We all respond to pressure differently. I don't believe Smurf's breakdown was down to his misplaced attachment to Dawes alone."

"It's immaterial, I've spoken to Major Beck. I've resigned my commission. It happened on my watch."

Kinders looked shocked. Captain James had been the best CO he'd work under. This decision seemed a waste of a career.

"But if nothing happened between you, no regs were broken. I'll happily testify that I saw nothing pass between you and Dawes, or signs of preference, to cause me to have concerns. It would be the complete truth. You can't hold yourself responsible for Smurf cracking under pressure–"

"Nothing happened between us in Afgan, it's true, but that doesn't matter. I want to know that any fallout that happens because of that shit storm of a mission lands on my head, no one else's. The buck stops with me. Molly's the only thing that matters."

"How did the Major take the news?

"Surprisingly calmly, except when I gave him my resignation letter. He's waiting to hear back after he submits his report to COC before he'll commit to process it further. He was very clear on that point."

"I guess some of the questions the Major was asking last week make more sense now." Kinders paused, swallowed, then collected himself. "I mean no disrespect, Sir, but I don't want to see Dawes get hurt. Does she know about your wife?"

"You mean ex-wife. We've been separated since I came back from tour on Herrick 17. Final divorce papers came through at the start of this tour."

"Ahh."

"It's okay, Kinders, it's not as if it was common knowledge. I'm glad you care enough to look out for Molly. You're here with Two Section to see Smurf I assume?"

"And you, but I understand that's too many visitors for the ICU. I left them with Smurf." Charles smiled, imaging the chaos they could cause.

"When do you need to head back to barracks?"

"Anytime now, but I can delay it maybe for an hour, take the boys to the canteen or something. I'd bet the nurses have about had enough with the disturbance downstairs by now.

"She'll need to go back to barracks with you." It was a statement rather than a question. He knew she had the end of tour parade and medal ceremony before she would officially be on R&R.

"Maybe let her sleep for a while longer?" Kinders suggested. "She's been the walking dead through the whole of decompression. If it's okay, can you send her to the canteen in an hour, I'll take her back with us."

The Captain nodded his agreement, but Kinders was conscience that there was a certain reluctance in his expression to the suggestion.

"Or I could arrange for compassionate leave now?"

"No, she should go back with you. Two Section don't need to know anything until she's ready to speak to them about us. Her disappearing act will already have caused questions. She's been through enough. No need for any additional pressure."

Kinders nodded. "They've been trying to look out for her since we got back to Bastion, I'm sure they'll continue to until she's on leave after parade on Friday."

"Good to know. I'll send her down to you later."

"It's good to see you on the mend, Bossman."

"Thanks, Kinders."

Kinders nodded, then left the room quietly as he had arrived.

~~o00o~~

"Molly." The warmth she was sleeping on moved, jostling her shoulder gently. "Molly."

She let out a sleepy grumpy noise, tightening her arm around his chest. "No."

"No what?" his amused voice asked.

"Molly"–more jostling–"you need to wake up, I'm sorry."

"No." she said again, sleepily. "Wait…what. You let me fall asleep?"

"I don't know were _let_ comes into it, you sort of did that all by yourself. I may have joined your for a while."

She sat up reluctantly and studied his face. He looked rested, still pale, but rested.

"Kinders and Two Section are downstairs, you need to go meet them to go back to Barracks."

She looked panicked.

"How long was I out, shit."

"Don't panic, they're not allowed up here in ICU, next of kin only. They'll meet you in the canteen downstairs. But first I need a pen."

She slipped off the bed, rummaged in her Bergan and produced a marker pen which she handed over.

"What am I supposed to say to that bunch of piss takers?" she asked, worried.

"You'll think of something. I've never known you not to be able to hold your own with them. Now come here please."

She sat back down on the edge of the bed and he took her arm, pushing her sleeve back before writing: Charles Elliot James on her upper arm, and a mobile telephone number."

"There. Now we've been properly introduced, you know my full name. I expect you to start using it."

"You realise your full name was on your medical paperwork, Captain Charles Elliot James."

"I can see that romantic gestures are wasted on you, Molly Dawes."

"I don't like flowers either, just for future reference."

"Good to know." He grinned.

"I'm beginning to wonder if the James males have a weird liking for writing on people." She ran her fingers softly across the childish writing on his arm that said: I love Dad.

"You might be right about that." He smiled. "Sam…I expect Rebecca or my parents will bring him in to see me later. It would have been nice for him to meet you."

"Perhaps, but I'm pretty sure that's a big ask of a little person with a poorly dad. For now, at least."

"You might be right."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, stop fussing."

"You do know that you could have just put the number in your mobile." Stretching over, she grabbed the device from the bedside cabinet and handed it to him.

"True, what's your number… Wait, it's already in here."

"You must have put it in already." Molly said, unlocking her own phone and showing him his contact details on the screen. "A nurse called Anna called and let me know yours."

"A nurse called, Anna? Did she also, by any chance, have you added to my NOK paperwork?"

She mentioned it having been updated on the phone. I wouldn't have been able to visit otherwise, so thanks for thinking about it. Wait, what's that face for?"

Charles kissed her hand realising his expression was showing his current state of amused irritation and clearly confusing Molly.

"It's nothing, I just don't want you to go even though I know that you have to. What I do want you to do is use phone number and speak to me when you have a chance back at barracks."

"I don't want to go either."

"I know, but it's only until Friday, if you're willing to come back?"

"Of course, I'll need to sort accommodation out, maybe at the barracks, check out the trains."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry, I'm sure Anna, the nurse, will have some way to help out with that."

He smiled as he stroked her cheek before sliding his hand into her hair. "Do I get a goodbye kiss?"

Their lips met, slow and tender, soft sips of contact so similar to their first kiss in the bunker that it made Molly shiver with warmth at the memory. He pulled away too soon, forcing Molly to face the inevitable.

She slipped her Bergen over her shoulder, and backed away towards the door.

"You want me to phone you tonight?"

"Yes, and at any other point you get a chance."

Molly hesitated.

"You've got to go, they're waiting."

She nodded, clearly reluctant. "Bye."

"Bye." And she was gone.

Charles stretched carefully, feeling pinches of pain through his shoulders, leg and stomach, but they were nothing new. He opened a text message to send to his father and began typing.

 **I don't suppose you know anything about Nurse Anna, do you?**

Elias' reply came quickly.

 _I'm saying nothing. You know what she's like. Had to stop here going tiger-mother on Private Smith when she saw him leaving your room._

 **Lovely, do I want to know why?**

 _Probably not. Are you doing okay?_

 **Wrecked. Tired but more alert. Better I think.**

 _Good, good. Is Molly still there?_

 **No, gone back to barracks.**

 _You sleep, we'll come down tonight with Sam. Rebecca dropped him off at the flat._

 **How did you manage to arrange that?**

 _Your mother. She's been a woman on a mission today…and yesterday…and the day before. Well, you get the idea._

 **Tell her thanks, and tell her to stay out of my stuff.**

 _Will do, doubt she'll listen, however. See you later. L. D x_


	4. Chapter 4

Note

Again, thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm totally blown away by them as ever. I've been less blown away by events in Episode 4 in Belize, so unintentionally started another story to get out of my resulting snit so I could concentrate on writing this story. I will probably avoid the rest of the episodes in Bangladesh for blood pressure purposes until the DVD comes out. ;)

Putting all that aside, kudos to Tony Grounds for writing such amazing characters that people become so invested in. He's an evil genius to get as all so caught up, even if I'm not enjoying the emotional roller coaster right now. I will (eventually) still watch it and that's what his job as writer is all about in the end.

* * *

Chapter Four

Molly's journey to the restaurant was considerably slower than her rush to the ICU. She'd always been blessed with an ability to hold her own with the diverse group of characters that made up her Section, but with all the emotion of the day and being forced to leave Charles behind, she was feeling unsure in herself about how she was going to cope with them now.

On the way down in the lift, she mulled over the inevitability of them asking why she had not been with Smurf. Even with a bit of one-on-one inner role playing, as hard as she tried, she couldn't seem to find the words inside her head to explain. This led her to the conclusion that, ultimately, she was doomed. She made her body put one foot in front of the other, reluctance to deal with the looming cluster fuck conversation but resigned to the fact it was a foregone conclusion.

Gobby little Molly Dawes without her banter and resilience was about as weird a thought as Superman flying without a cape. Weird, pathetic and improbable, yet here she was cape-less and standing in the entrance to the restaurant with no where to go except into the large white expansion of space.

When a cheer went up from a corner of the room where several tables had been pulled together, she knew she had been spotted. Molly squared her shoulders, took in a big breath and drew herself upright and straight as though on parade before moving to walk towards the noisy group.

"Shit on a stick!" she squealed as Kinders, being unintentional stealthy, made her jump out of skin when he appeared by her side carrying a takeaway drinking cup.

"No, corporal in a uniform, last I looked." he replied with a snarky grin.

"Sorry."

"It's fine and a pleasure to see you, too, Dawes." he replied, grabbing her Bergen off her shoulder and pushed the cup into her hand along with three sachets of sugar and a wooden stirrer. "Here, brew for you."

She looked down at the cup and back up to Kinders with a nonplussed expression on her face, as though he actually had placed a shitty stick into her hands.

"It's a brew, not cyanide, Dawes."

Kinders studied her for a few moments, taking in her pale, tense face. She looked drained and very, very young in a way that he had never thought to consider her before. Guessing that at least part of her stress might be from anticipating a rightly deserved bollocking for skipping out at Brize, Kinders decided to deal with that first.

"You're not in trouble, Dawes, but you are coming back to the barracks with us. I've spoken to Captain James." Kinders raised his eyebrows meaningfully and Molly inwardly cringed.

"When?" she snapped, the collected herself. "I mean, when did you speak to him?"

Kinders put his hand on her shoulder, patting her awkwardly and perhaps a little harder than necessary. To the extent that as his large hand made contact with her much small shoulder she wobbled slightly.

"You were sparko so missed it." he replied.

The blush that flashed across Molly's face was as large an admission of guilt as if she'd been flying a red flag while yelling her relationship status to a large audience.

Kinders considered that the blush at least brought some healthy-ish looking colour to her cheeks, and also conceded he was making a bit of cake of this whole situation. Trying to provide covert support to his Medic who was in an official _unofficial_ relationship with her former CO was a little outside of his previous remit and experience.

He looked over her shoulder towards where the rest of Two Section were sitting and calculated how much more time they would have before they came over. His conclusion was not much, judging by the way Fingers was standing already.

"It's all good, okay? Captain James has sorted everything with Major Beck."

"Would have been nice if he'd spoken to me about." she replied, a short spark of her normal spirit returning, but when she looked back over her shoulder towards the boys she seemed to wilt.

"Do they know anything?"

"No. Doesn't mean the piss takers aren't going to grill you about why you took off at Brize, but you're going have to suck that one up."

"They're not gonna understand any of this when they find out. They're gonna hate me…"

"You're as much a part of them as they are of each other. Nothing is going to change that." Kinders replied gently. "A whole Section of big brothers under his command, I think Captain James is likely to be the one who has the harder time."

Despite the pressure of the situation, Molly giggled at that image.

"That's the spirit, Dawes. Come on, best face forward and all that. Take your brew, let's get this over with."

"Think I'd rather be back with the Taliban, if I'm honest." she muttered.

"Bolting back to Afgan isn't gonna cut it, sorry." Kinders laughed.

"Glad you're finding this so funny."

"Pay back for having to stand to attention beside Captain James while he was cuddled up to his Medic."

"Shit, I didn't think this could get any worse. Let me guess, was I drooling? Snoring?"

Kinders wanted to say she had looked the most unguarded and relaxed that he'd seen her in as many days, but let the words remain unsaid.

"No, but I know your stalling." Shrugging her Bergen over his shoulder, he put both hands on her shoulders and steered her towards Two Section.

The volume of noise coming from the table doubled as they approached, with Fingers being the loudest as he yelled out in a broad Manchester accent, "Oi, oi, Dawesey! Who's a dirty stop out then?" Before dragging her into a hug, giving Kinders only just enough time to grab her tea from her hand before they were all wearing it.

"Fingers, you bell-end, let her go! You just saw her a couple of hours ago." Kinders snapped, causing Fingers to step back with his hands up in surrender.

Dangles stepped up and pulled her into a hug, followed by Brains, then Mansfield before Kinders stepped in again.

"Come on, Fellas, let Dawes breathe and finished her brew before you smother her, eh?"

Brains nudged Molly into the seat that Dangles had left, and then watched with a curious expression on his face as Kinders solicitously pushed the chair in for Molly and placing her drink down on the table. Kinders and Molly seemed to have a short staring contest until she clasped the drink, removed the top and added enough sugar to make Tinkerbelle look bitter. He only seemed to back off when she finally raised the drink to her mouth and swallowed.

Fingers dropped himself into the chair on the other side of Molly and she turned to look at him with wary expression on her face.

"Alright, gorgeous?" Mansfield asked cheerfully from behind her shoulder. Molly turned the same wary expression in his direction, then produced a tentative smile.

"Ready for a shower and a change of uniform, but this brew will do for now." she replied with a shrug.

Molly sipped her drink, as Dangles pushed the remains of a plate of biscuits towards her. "We kept the chocolate-chip ones for you. Brains thought you hadn't had much to eat since–"

Brains' elbowed Dangles in the side to shut him up quickly, and they all looked at Dangles accusingly. A clumsy silence started to developed.

Molly watched them all, realising that something was up. Not her worst case scenario _what's-up_ because they were way too calm for that, but definitely something else. Though God only knew what.

Before she had a chance to find some words to end the silence, her stomach seemed to decide it was on the same page as Brains. Warmed by the sugar laden tea, it decided at that moment to rumble lusciously loudly. The boys laughed and she found herself laughing with them automatically.

"Guess Brains is onto me, as it happens."

"Easy fixed, mate." Mansfield said, heading towards the food counter.

"Don't we need to head back?" Molly asked, turning to Kinders."

"Nah, we can wait until you've had some scoff." he replied, as Mansfield plonked a plate of chips, and sachets of ketchup, brown sauce and vinegar down in front of Molly.

Manfield looked at the plate of food and condiments, as if checking everything was there, before asking, "I can get you some cheese to go on them if you prefer? A roll?"

Molly was suddenly feeling embarrassingly tearful and grateful to be surrounded by her Section and their warmth.

Fingers put his arm around Molly's shoulders. "Hey, enough of that,"–he gave her a squeeze-"we've all been worried about you. Now eat your chips. It's the first and last time Mansfield is ever likely to get his wallet out for anyone else, so you better enjoy them."

Molly grinned, bumping her shoulder against Fingers. "At least he paid for them instead of nicking them off some else's plate, you Manc scrounger."

"There she is!"

"Well rinsed!"

"Go, Molls!"

Two Section hooted, as Molly spread ketchup on the chips and dug in. The conversation and banter started back up with Molly in the protected centre of it.

~~o00o~~

After arriving back at barracks, it took her two full hours before she let herself find a quiet moment and space to dial his number. The phone had rung twice with no answer when a feeling of anxious upset washed over her again. Molly had been experiencing it on and off since the incident on the bridge. Being back with him in the hospital had been the first time, in too long, that she'd felt like she was standing on emotional steady ground again. She was missing that feeling of that security, and wishing she'd never left. When he answered on the third ring, Molly realised she had been holding her breath.

"Molly?" he said warmly. "Sorry, I was just waiting for the nurse to finish up. How's it been?"

The amount of meaning he seemed to be able to put into her simple name just by saying it was humbling and Molly wanted to slap herself for all her earlier doubts and delaying and the whole bloody shopping list of worries she'd been stewing over. Thinking back to when she'd been contemplating the very real chance she might never speak to him again, and measured that worry and panic against the rest of her anxieties; they seemed too silly bother with.

"Charles."

She tested the round constants and vowels of his name. It still felt foreign, but made her smile all the same.

"It's nice to hear you saying my name. Sharpie for the win, eh?" he teased, laughing.

"What are you on about you muppet?"

"Don't tell me you washed off my romantic gesture. I remember your return from R&R. When I noticed you still had Rosabaya written on your arm, it made me feel ten feet tall after being such a jealous fool."

"I've not a scooobie what you're on about." Molly denied, while stroking the words on her arm with a smile.

"Hmm, my mistake. Must be you're poor hygiene then."

"Oi!"

He laughed uproariously down the phone and Molly grinned until his laughing ended with a small groan.

"Charles?"

"It's okay, just haven't laughed as much in a while, would appear it pinches a bit. Don't worry, I'm fine."

"It's nice, hearing you laugh after everything."

"Might be something to do with having a certain cockney back by my side. Or it could be the drugs, who knows." She could imagine him grin from the other end of the phone.

"I think we both know it's the drugs."

"I think we both know it's not."

"I can't talk long, sorry. I'm hiding in a store cupboard in the Med Centre to make this call, and I'll have to go for lunch soon."

"Now there's an image."

"Behave."

How's it been with the cock wombles?"

"Fine, I've not really had much time to talk. Kinders seems to be on a bit of mission with that."

"I'd imagine he's trying to give you a bit of space, or something. It's good that he makes him a better NCO than some."

"Maybe, but I wish he'd stop hovering as much. It's getting a bit obvious, and I'm worried the boys are gonna notice."

There was a bang outside the cupboard, and the sound of Kinders calling her name.

"Damn, that's him now."

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear."

"Something like that, sorry, I gotta go."

"Well, it's not like I'm going anywhere. Call me later?"

Molly swallowed, suddenly drowning in a feeling relief that he could say that and mean it. It could have ended so differently.

"I'll never be able to explain how grateful I am that you're here to say that. I–" She stopped, voice choked. "Sorry, my head's a bit all over the shop today."

"Sweetheart–"

"Molly?" Kinders' voice sounded from behind the closed door loud enough for Charles to hear it down the phone.

"Shit, sorry. I've gotta go before he sends out some sort of search party. I'll call you later. Bye!"

~~o00o~~

The thing about returning from deployment to regimental duties before R&R was that it was a little like stepping out of a Ferrari onto a milk float. The change in pace could be jarring, and a lot boring. Brains, however, had found something to catch his interest and it was the behaviour of their Corporal. The very out of character behaviour of the Corporal, and he suspected that he wasn't the only one who'd noticed.

It started on the mini bus back to barracks. Kinders normally choose to sit at the front with driver, Corporals prerogative and all that, but Brains knew it was more to do with suffering from car-sickness. If you went on enough drunken nights out with someone, stuff like that was hard to hide. Outside of his normal habits, when Molly settled herself on the rear most seat of the bus, Kinders followed, sitting himself down beside her like a six foot plus muscular bookend, boxing Molly in to the back of the bus. Deliberately or otherwise, he'd sideline her from much of the conversation that had happened on the journey home.

It was at this point that Brains noticed Fingers' interested staring. Piss-taker extraordinaire that he was, Fingers was also a rather keen observer of people. He maintained it helped with the piss-taking. Brains was rather more convinced it was because he was one of the more active Regimental gossips, but either way Brains had been watching Fingers watching Kinders and knew that the rusty cogs were spinning inside his friend's head on some level.

Ever the opportunist, Fingers had ripped the piss out of Kinders about looking green about the gills when they finally arrived at Bulford. Kinders ignored the teasing. That in itself was peculiar. Instead of handing Fingers his head verbally for cheek, he dismissed them with instructions to stow their kit, grab a shower and meet in the Mess Hall.

They gathered in the Mess Hall, as instructed, for tea break and Kinders appeared with Molly in tow. Brains watched bemused as the Corporal appeared to be providing his services as a waiter to their Medic. Delivering a snack and drink to Molly, then chasing her to eat it while the rest of the section chowed down as normal.

The arrival of equipment from Afghanistan in the afternoon had Two and One Sections tasked with unloading, inventory and returning it to stores. Kinders excused Molly and sent her to the Med Centre instead.

Later, Kinders was seen returning to the Med Centre at lunchtime to collect Molly as he crossed the Quad where the rest of Two Section continued their unloading activities. By the time they were excused for scoff, Molly had been escorted back to the Med Centre without any interaction with the rest of her Section, except Corporal Kinders.

When Brains saw Johnston and Frederickson from One section, pointing and laughing with Fingers, he knew he wasn't the only person who'd noticed, but when Fingers didn't bring up the subject during lunch, Brains decided not to pursue it first either. Fingers had a huge gob on him, it was unlikely he'd be able to keep quiet about it long and Brains preferred not to be the first to break cover with his theories.

In the Mess Hall that evening, the conversation eventually turned to the presently absent Molly when Mansfield brought up the thought that everything wasn't right with their Medic and a discussion on the subject started.

"Do you believe Smurf when he said Molls wasn't at the hospital to see him?" Mansfield asked.

"Why'd you think he'd lie?" Brains replied. "He was pretty clear when he 'fessed up to them not being coupled up."

"So what was the ring about then?" Mansfield replied.

"Wishful thinking," Fingers said, as he stretched with a groan. "Smurf was punching well above his weight with Molls, she made it clear they were only mates. More than once."

"You think?" Mansfield said, looking doubtful.

"I don't think I know. Smurf told us she was visiting her bloke in the hospital, that's why she took off."

Mansfied still look doubtful. "But she never mentioned anyone, and spent all that time with Smurf. When would she have time to meet someone?"

"When she was at Bastian, basic training, who knows? Women are weird about when and what they want to talk about. Molls obviously decided to keep it quiet, her choice." Fingers replied.

"Anyway, there's no doubt Smurf was feeling like a twat when he admitted the ring didn't mean what it could have. He wouldn't want to admit it, if it wasn't the truth. Why set yourself up to look like an arse without a reason." Brains said.

"I reckon Molly asked him to clear stuff up now that we're back in the UK, and I reckon this bloke will make an appearance. Maybe at the parade?" Baz suggested.

"How's that!" Fingers argued with a snort, "He's in hospital, do you think he's gonna make a miraculous recovery and spring from his sick bed for a parade?"

"When did Smurf say anything about mystery guy being at death door, or whatevea." Baz replied. "You've not got enough information to guess either way, Bruv."

"But we might just have enough to start a little wager?" Fingers smirked. "Guesses on the identity of the mystery man. Bonus if you manage to get Dawesey to confess or find the vital info to i.d. the bloke first. You all in?"

Fingers pulled his berry out of his pocket and held it out. "Ten quid in the kitty, Brains'll keep record of your picks." He nodded towards Brains, who rolled his eyes but nodded anyway.

Fingers had just finished collecting the loot, rolling he berry back up before shoving it into his pocket when Molly appeared with Kinders walking behind.

Fingers nodded towards them as they approached. "I'd also like to know what that's about, Bro, I thought he was living off barrack these days, yet here he is, again. It's like me and my shadow."

Brains raised his eyebrows in reply.

Mansfield said quietly, "She been through a lot, he's just looking out for her until R&R. What's strange about that? Duty of care and all that"

Fingers snorted before yelling, "There's Two Section's little hell raiser, where've you been, Molls? Patients in the Med Centre keeping you busy?"

"Only thing in that Med Centre today was supplies to inventory and an infected zit, what do you think it is Holby City or somethin'?" Molly replied, sitting down.

Kinders pulled up a chair."Alright, lads?"

"You want a brew, Molls? Eggy?" Baz asked before heading over to the tea urn.

"Corporal, wasn't expecting you tonight. Thought you were living off base these days." Fingers said casually.

"Stuff to do, took a room in barracks until we're off on R&R."

"Slumming with the plebs, eh."

"Something like that." Kinders replied, accepting a cup from Baz after Molly took hers. He pushed the sugar bowl towards her before watching and waiting for her to add sugar and lift the cup to her lips then attended to his own drink.

Baz sat down. "We were wondering" –Baz pointed around the group in general–"if you had heard anything about Bossman? I know we weren't allowed to see him, but you did, didn't you?"

Kinder looked up from his drink. "I saw him briefly. He's still in ICU but doing better. The second op seems to have done the trick." Kinder flicked Fingers on the forehead with a grin. "Touch wood."

"Do you think we'd be able to see him before R&R?" Mansfield asked.

"I think Bossman deserves a break from you lot, time with his nearest and dearest, yeah? I'll try and sort something out when he's home from the hospital. Maybe some beers?" Kinders suggested.

Mansfield put his arm around Molly's shoulder and squeezed her with a grin. "Given all our Molls did to get him safe to hospital, I think she deserves a few free beers on the Bossman. What do you think, eh, Molls?"

Seven faces turned in Molly's direction and she seemed to shrink under the scrutiny. "I was just doing my job" –she shrugged out from under Mansfield arm–"mostly I just want to forget about the whole bleedin' mess."

"Come on, Molls, what you did was amazing. You should be proud–"

"I'd be prouder if he hadn't ended up with two bullets holes because I got too involved in the first place." Molly snapped before discarding her barely touched tea on the table and walking off.

Brains went to go after her, but Kinders put a hand on his arm. "Maybe leave her tonight. She's fragged. Give her some space, alright? I'll check she's okay. Was gonna turn in anyway."

Kinders stood. "Night, lads."

"Should we call Smurf, get him to give her a call?" Nude-nut asked, "Maybe she needs a mate?"

"Kinders will check she's okay. I reckon she'll go back to her room and call her mystery Fella." Fingers replied. "On that subject, get your note book out, Brains, we'll be needing some paper for the suggests, right?"

Fingers grinned broadly, "I think I'm only going to need one suggestion."

"Think you've got the inside track then, eh, Fingers." Baz jeered.

"It' all about the powers of observation and paying attention, not that you dick stains would have a clue." Fingers replied, before ripping a page from Brain's note book, writing on the paper with his hand while covering the words and folding the paper over twice. "Gonna keep this secret until the big reveal. Mansfield can look after the results. We can trust you lad, right?"

Fingers picked up an empty crisp packet and slipped the folded paper inside before handing it to Mansfield and shoving the pen towards Brains.

"The Dawesy mystery love wager is open, time to get your suggestions in." Fingers said, shaking the bag for emphasis.

"You know she's going to kill you when she finds out about this." Brains said as he wrote on another piece of paper.

"No doubt, bro. But it will be totally worth it. Molly's one of the lads, she'll forgive me."

~~o00o~~

In the end, Brains decided to ignore the Corporal's suggestion to give Molly space, and instead headed to NAAFI first for some food and then to her room to deliver it.

He knocked, and it took a couple of moments before she came to the door with her mobile in her hand.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi, look I don't want to interrupt" –he gestured towards her phone–"I just wanted to check you were okay and leave you with some food. You kinda stormed off before dinner."

"Sorry about that. Today has just been a bit much."

"Understandable." Brains handed the carry bag over. "Nothing fancy, sandwich, crisps, drink and some chocolate. I have sisters, they always want chocolate when things get tense."

Molly took the bag with smile. "Thanks, Brains. You're a good mate."

"Hug comes free with the chocolate," Brains said with a grin, "they like those too" He extended his arms to her and she went into them for a brief hug.

"Thank you, pretty sure I needed one of those." Molly replied with a wobbly smile.

"Look, Molls, I just wanted you to know that Smurf explained at the hospital that you two aren't a couple. Sorry for teasing you about that before, we all just assumed… Anyway, he explained you were with your actual significant other at the hospital."

"Smurf and me, we're just mates, I said that all along, but I didn't realise he'd said anything." Molly said, looking embarrassed.

"I think Smurf didn't want it to be awkward for you, you know with your fella. How is he by the way, doing okay? "

"Brains…" she trailed off, unsure what to say.

Realising that Molly was finding his question awkward, Brains tried to back away from the question, remembering how closed off she was while they'd all been in Cyprus.

"Look, if it's difficult to talk about, let leave it, yeah?"

"No, it's okay. I've just spent so long not talking about him, that it feels weird talking, if you see what I mean. But thank you for asking. He's doing better, which is amazing." She smiled warmly, but had tears in her eyes. "Really amazing."

She wiped her check with an embarrassed groan. "Sorry, they're happy tears, honestly. It just a relief to be home, and to be able to say he's doing better."

Brains extended his arms again, and they shared another hug.

Molly pulled back from him, and bumped their shoulders together affectionately. "I think those sisters of yours are lucky to have you. You give good hugs."

Brains grinned. "One more thing, you should know that Fingers has started a wager on who your guy is. Ten pounds an entry to guess, winner takes the pot. Don't be surprised if the shit-head starts digging."

Molly groaned and then smirked. "Bloody curtain-twitcher. It must be driving him off his nut that he doesn't have the necessary details? I might just enjoy stringing him along for a while, as it happens."

"You've got to give a few false leads. That would be epic. It will drive him fucking nuts, the tosser."

Molly laughed. "Can you imagine his face?"

"I'll look forward to that." Brains grinned. "Look, I'd better go, let you get on with your phone call. It's good to see you laughing again."

She smiled. "Thanks, Brains, I appreciate the supplies. See you tomorrow, okay?"

Molly closed the door behind him and returned to her call.

"You heard all that, I suppose?"

"Ten pounds buy-in, I'm tempted to take part myself. Will you sub me a–"

"Knock it off, you piss taking git. Do you have any idea how cringey that was for me?"

"Come on, you're made of sterner stuff than that. We need to let them know at some point. The Army's a small world, they'll find out eventually."

Molly made a humming noise in the back of her throat, before lying down on her bed with the phone to her ear.

"It was good of Brains to check on you. I'm glad they're looking after you. Rather I was there to do it, but needs must."

She smiled. "Come on, Captain Stern-face, don't go getting soppy on me."

"Stern-face, really is that what you call me behind my back?"

"I'm saying nuthin'."

"Or is it more of an endearment? For example, I might I call you 'sweetheart', as in: 'Sweetheart, would you like a cup of tea?', and you that would say: 'that would be lovely Stern-face'."

"What are you on about, you nut-bar?"

"It just occurred to me that we've not had a conversation about pet-names, I know you don't like flowers, do we need to add that to the list?"

"What, pet-names? I'm not sure how I feel about them yet. And what bleedin' list?"

"You'd better form an opinion quickly, you've not met my father yet." Charles laughed, thinking that Elias' habit of allocating pet names to his nearest dearest was bound to apply to Molly.

"I repeat, what are you on about you _soppy_ nut-bar? See, I gave you a pet-name. I added Soppy." Molly replied laughing.

"Very funny, but to go back to your earliest use of soppy, it's not soppy if it's the truth. I would rather be there with you. This bloody hospital room is very empty without you." he replied, his voice less playful. "Anyway, what loot did you get? I'm bloody sick of hospital food."

Molly emptied the contents of the bag onto her bed. "Cheese and ham sarnie, crisps, diet coke and Diary Milk."

Charles groaned down the phone. "Dairy Milk. Jesus, I could kill for some chocolate."

"If you're on a restricted diet, as I suspect you are, it's for your own good that you don't have any of this chocolatey goodness."

"You're a cruel woman." Molly giggled.

"If you're super good and eat all your hospital goop, so you grow up to be a big, big, strong boy–"

"Stop it you cheeky little mare, and eat you gourmet grub. I'm living vicariously through you food wise for the moment."

With a grin, she snapped a piece of chocolate off and made yummy noises when she put it into her mouth.

"Enough you witch. Eat your food with less chomping noises, for God sake. Have you no manners."

"Yes, Sir." Molly teased, while helping herself to several crisps from the bag.

"To get back to the cock wombles, it's nice to know that they're spending their draw-down money on something so worth while. Nosy bastards."

They're going to have to know at some point."

"And I'll happily tell them myself. We've nothing to hide, but I don't think you're ready yet, are you?"

Molly chewed on her lip, unsure how to answer. "No, I'm sorry. Does that upset you?"

"Of course not, I want to do this at your pace, Molly. I love you, the world and his dog can know it for all I care, but I need you to feel comfortable. I know things between us have had a very intense beginning."

"That was down to circumstances, not your fault."

"I know, but having a wounded boyfriend is enough trauma without pulling in more outside pressures until you're ready."

"Is that what you are?" Molly said, sounding unsure.

"Are you asking me if I think of you as my girlfriend? Then, yes. I do. There's been no one else since Rebecca left on my second tour, and nobody for me since I threatened to lob you out of that plane.

"Well, it's not like you had many opportunities at the fob, down to me or snuggling up to Mansfield, wasn't it."

"I'm being serious, Molly. I know we haven't had a chance talk about labels, and things, but I want us to be together. I need you to know that."

"You won't scare me away."

"Are you sure this isn't moving too fast for you? I need you to be honest, this is too important to fuck up with miscommunication."

"No, but it should be. That's what worrying me. With my dating history I should be running so fast that I'm a dot in the bleedin' distance. Sometimes I think I might have been body snatch or something.

"Then I realise this all just feels right, for the first time in my life. I told you before, I don't do perfect, doesn't really suit me, but I seem to have stumble on my version of perfect and it's scaring me a bit if it all goes wrong. Is that honest enough for you?"

"I'm worried, if I push too hard or ask too much too quickly, you're going to run." he said softly.

"I don't want to run from you."

"You almost did in the hospital today."

"I wasn't runnin' from you. I was runnin' from me. I wouldn't have gone far, promise."

"So it was more of a tactical retreat then?"

"It was me being a muppet, but you'll need to get used to that."

"Okay, as long as you're _my_ muppet, I'm very okay with that."


	5. Chapter 5

__

_As ever, thank you for the reviews. They make me smile._

 _Some dialogue is used from Episode Five. This does not belong to me and no infringement is intended._

 _Fun fact, I couldn't actually find anywhere where Molly's Nan's first and last names were mentioned, so I made them up. If I'm wrong about this, please let me know and I'll correct it.  
_

* * *

Chapter Five

It was the morning of the medal ceremony and Molly was pushing scrambled egg and tomato around her plate. Still suffering from a small appetite since the shooting, the piece of toast and jam that she'd consumed before Brains delivered his unrequested eggs had pretty much filled her to the brim. He seemed to have decided to follow Kinders example of hovering and because she hadn't had the heart to say no to the extra food, she was trying to make it look like she'd wanted to eat what was on her plate.

Being busy with her food also had its side benefits. Keeping her eyes down and on her plate meant she was successfully avoiding the conversation that Fingers had been eagerly trying to start. Piss taking sod, she knew what his game was.

She'd anticipated some sort of conversation that morning after Brains warned her about her colleague's little wager on the subject of her boyfriend's name, but the rest of the boys had been polite enough to keep quiet on the subject so far. Fingers on the other hand was positively bursting a blood vessel trying to draw her out. Blocking his attempts was proving to be both an easy and amusing distraction.

Every time he tried, he received a mild smile or grunted reply from Molly and he was getting more frustrated each time.

"So, Molls, Mansfield was wondering what you were doing after the ceremony?" Fingers asked.

Molly took her time to chase some egg onto her fork, raise it slowly to her mouth and chew before responding with a noncommittal, "Hmm?"

Brains nudged her under the table and Molly turned to see Brains holding a mug of coffee to his mouth hiding a grin. Smiling herself, she went to great pains to lean obnoxiously far over the table and stare down towards Mansfield, who was deep in conversation with Dangles about football at the far end of the table.

She said extra loudly, "What were you asking, Mansfield?"

Mansfield looked down the table towards Molly confused, "Nothin', Molls, we were just talking about Derby City and the footie."

"Okay, mate, my mistake."

Molly turned back to Fingers, game face on, "Seems _you_ were actually the one asked, eh, Fingers?"

Fingers narrowed his eyes in Brian's direction as his friend choked on his coffee.

Molly's mobile buzzed in her pocket she lost interest in the exchange momentarily.

 ** _Good luck for today, not that you'll need it. I know you're going to be bloody brilliant. Love C xx_**

 ** _P.s My turn to ask, I believe: favourite food out of ice-cream or chocolate?_**

She grinned, this was his continuation of a game he'd started last night in the manner of twenty questions, except they'd already exceeded that by a good number.

Finger's annoyingly determined voice interrupted before she had a chance to answer. "That from your new Fella? Aren't you gonna tells us about him now it's all official, like?"

More interested in texting with Charles, Molly was tempted to just tell him to keep his long beak out of her business, but when Brain nudged her under the table again. She thought, what the hell, Fingers deserved all he got.

She smiled at him sweetly, using her cup of tea as a prop by taking comedically slow sip of the drink, turning it her hands as though enjoying the warmth of cup, and pausing for dramatic purposes before she very deliberately placed the cup down on the table. All the while Fingers fidgeted in his seat like a toddler high on too many Haribo.

"What do you want to know?"

Fingers smiled back eagerly. "Well, as your Section of big-brothers, I think we need to vet this guy, don't you think?" He nudged Baz, who obliged by nodding in agreement

"Yup, we need some details, Dawesey."

"Like what?" Molly asked with a deliberately disinterested tone as she started tapping out a reply to Charles on her mobile.

 _I couldn't possibly limit myself by choosing one over the other. Since I love chocolate ice-cream I think my answer is justified. My turn then? What's your favour flavour?_

 _M xx_

"Where did you meet him?"

Molly smile widened as she pocketed her phone. She considered Finger's overly interested expression for a couple of seconds, trying to decide just how far she wanted to push it with her reply.

"At Brize Norton."

"Okay, so he's in soldier then? Was he in Afgan? Was he deployed in Herrick 19? He must have been, this was your first tour wasn't it?" Fingers voice was rushed, like her unexpectedly accommodating answer had put him on the back foot conversationally speaking.

"Yes, yes, yes and yes. Is that enough info for you?"

"Well, no. What regiment is he in? How'd he end-up in hospital?" Fingers asked. "Actually, forget all that, why don't you start with something simple like his name?"

"That's a _l-o-t_ of questions, Fingers." Molly replied, drawing out of the syllables of the word lot for emphasis as her mobile buzzed in her pocket again.

"We're only concerned about you, Dawesey. That's why the interest."

"Really, you're all concerned about me?" Molly stared at Fingers long enough that he should have been squirming at least a little, but he held her gaze steadily. She had to give him some kudos, he had balls of steel.

"Okay, I'll bite. Well, I'll be honest and admit he's a bit of a Rupert but he's nice with it…"

"Go Molls, managing to bag herself an officer." Baz hooted.

"Great hair, lovely personality, funny, clever, protective. The whole package really. He got himself shot, silly man, in the stomach and the leg. Bit nasty really. His first name is Charles, I like to call him Charlie or Chaz to take the piss. He's even posh enough have a Christian name as his surname name.

"Still, Molly James has a nice ring to it, don't you think? If he ever puts a ring on it." Molly said, wiggling her ring finger while giggling in very un-Molly girlie manner.

By the time she had put her hand back into her lap, a ringing silence had fallen around the table.

She looked at Fingers steadily, struggling not to laugh at the gob-smack expression on his face. Or Baz, who was sat next to him with his mouth open, displaying his half-chewed sausage sandwich.

Brains cracked first, as he dropped his head onto his crossed arms on the table and howled with laughter.

Fingers pointed at Brains. "You told her, didn't you? You tosser!"

"Yeah, he did you curtain twitching cock womble. Even if he hadn't, don't you think I would have work it out?"

She mimicked a Manchester accent. "How's your fella, Dawesey? Tell us about him, Dawesey. Is that your fella on the phone, what's he called again, Dawesey? Seriously, wanker, you'd need to get up earlier in the day to make your patter work on me."

"Molls, come on, it was just for a laugh."

"Really, do I look like I'm laughing, wanker?" she pinned him with as furious a scowl as she could manage, and when Finger's face fell with guilt, she couldn't hold her mirth in any longer and burst out laughing.

"Your face" –she pointed at Fingers– "so worth being the subject of one of your stupid bets, just for this moment. I'm telling you nothing, you'll need to noodle his name out all by yourself, Fingers."

Brains got up from his seat, and high fived her enthusiastically. "That was so worth it, Molls. Classic take down."

Kinders appeared at the end of the table, laid an empty mug down and said loudly, "Dawes, I need you."

Molly got up, blew Fingers a kiss and then followed Kinders out of the room, and down several corridors to the empty NCO's office. Once the door was closed, Kinders turned to a worried Molly, looked her up and down and roared with laughter.

"Staff?" Molly asked, unsure why he brought her into his office.

"Thought I'd better save you from yourself. I'll give it to you, Dawes, you like to live life on the edge. Question is, what's their reaction gonna be now when you really tell them it's Captain James. Did you think of that?"

"Oh shit."

"You've got balls, Dawesey, I'll give you that much. You've two hours until you need to be formed up on the parade ground, piss off for now, yeah? Try and keep out of trouble."

~~o00o~~

Anna stretched out in the creaky leather chair and let her eyes drift around the wood panelled room, wondering how many different barracks offices been in throughout her career.

The door opened slowly as Major Tom Beck backed through it carrying a tray with coffee and other accoutrements for the drinks. He placed it down onto his desk's tidy surface.

"Here we are." He smiled. "Black?"

"Is there any other way." Anna replied with a laugh, as he depressed the plunger on the cafetiere and filled two mugs before passing one to Anna and settling back into his chair on the other side of the desk.

Anna took the mug and then looked at him pointedly.

"What?"

"Come on, Tom. You know what I'm waiting for. You must have a stash in here somewhere."

"And you say your husband knows me too well." He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a biscuit tin.

"I can't believe you'd try to deprive me of Emily's amazing shortbread. What flavour are you hiding in that tin?"

"Lemon, though I believe this batch was made by Lizzie, not Emily. She's training up the next generation of shortbread makers at home at the moment."

"Jo-jo didn't help then?"

"Of course not, she has zero interest in anything so domesticated as cooking."

Anna smiled broadly at the thought. Beck had identical twin eleven-year-old daughters, but as close as they were in looks they were complete opposites in terms of personalities and interests. Elizabeth enjoyed painting and cooking, while Josephine like tree climbing and disappearing into the fields around their house with the family's chocolate Labrador, Sausage.

"Are they still down in Cornwall for the holidays?"

"Yes, Emily's left them with the nanny and is driving up this afternoon so we can travel down together." He bit into his biscuit and groaned in pleasure. "This is every bit as good as her mother's."

"So, are you going to tell to what I owe the pleasure of your unannounced visit, or do I need to guess?"

"I could tell you but given that I know you were speaking to Elias on the phone this morning like too gossipy old women, why would I need to?"

"You have me there. You've come to collect Dawes."

"If she wants a lift. Charles mentioned yesterday he was expecting her to travel up today, or tomorrow depending on her plans with her family. I had to bring Sam back to his mother this morning anyway, so I didn't see the point of her getting on a train or bus with all that luggage when I could be in the area with the car anyway."

And there it was, the same face the Elias had pulled when she'd told him her plans this morning. The plans that she had not decided to share with Charles, just in case. The same raised eyebrows and straight-line mouth just on a differently featured face.

"I wonder, did you think that she might find meeting her future mother-in-law without Charles present a little off putting?"

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, Major, don't you think? Anyway, from the little I know of Molly, she's got enough spirit to deal with a car ride to Birmingham."

"We both know he smitten. That son of yours is army to the core like his Grandfather, and I suspect he's got the same career ahead of him if he stays in. There's no way in hades that he'd offer to resign his commission for a fling."

Anna smiled widened at Beck's assessment. "I think she's going to be very important to my family and wanted a chance to meet her one to one before Charles circles the wagons. He's already very protective of her. If he wasn't stuck in a hospital bed right now, I'm sure he would have spirited her away somewhere by now."

"I'm surprised you didn't bring Elias with you."

"He had to work today, and we both decided an RAMC Colonel might be a bit much to drop on her without Charles being around."

"Like most things, I think Dawes would have taken it on the chin and come back bouncing. She quite a forceful to be reckoned with.

"Anyway, I thought she'd already spoken to the family RAMC officer, Lieutenant James, or should I say Nurse Anna. On the phone wasn't it? Except I think you forgot to introduce yourself as the mother and retired nurse, eh?"

"Is there nothing that you two don't gossip about?"

Beck laughed uproariously.

"Not much, but you should know that by now."

"True." Anna said with a smile, sipping her coffee.

"Anyway, back the subject of Dawes. She has proven herself as an outstanding medic. You'll find out more about that today. I assume you're staying for the parade and taking her up to Birmingham afterwards?"

"If she's willing. I assume their R&R starts after their dismissed?"

"You would assume correctly." Beck said, leaning back in his chair while munching on a second biscuit. "You just need to introduce yourself before she heads out. I'm looking forward to seeing the Anna James brand of charm being deployed on that particularly mission."

~~o00o~~

Back in her room with an hour of free time before the ceremony, Molly stopped to read Charles' reply to her early question.

 _Pistachio. Next question: cats, dogs or what other animal for a pet? Miss you. Love C xx_

Smiling like a fool at his 'miss you', she tapped out a reply.

 _I knew it wouldn't be vanilla, but what sort of Rupert answer is pistachio?_

 _I've never had a pet. Don't think I trust cats, they kill stuff don't they?. Dog maybe? Always kind of admired the horses on the telly when my granddad watched the racing but never been anywhere near one. How about – not cats as an answer?_

 _Same question to you and miss you too, you soft sod. Molly xx_

Opening up her contact list, Molly steeled herself. She been avoiding this for a while, but knew it needed done; it was time to try to reach out to Smurf.

She tried to call first, but it rang out. Assuming he might be busy, or perhaps ignoring her, she decided on a text. Worst case, he'd just delete it, but at least she'd have tried.

 _Tried to call, guess you must be busy. Text or call me back to let me know how you're doing. The parade is going to be a bit shit without you. Molly._

~~o00o~~

Maggie Hamilton considered herself to be reasonably on-the-ball for an old bird, with good instincts in general. A people watcher by habit, she'd enjoyed the pomp and ceremony of the parade but what had filled her with true happiness was seeing Molly being recognised for her hard fought for successes. God knows, she'd got little enough individual attention at home growing up as her mother had produced sprog after sprog, stupid and loved up to the lazy idiot that was Dave Dawes.

Since they had been excused from their formation to mingle with their families, Maggie had been standing with a small group of boys from Molly's section. Hearing their support and admiration for Molly, Maggie could see that Molly had found herself a new family here through her job. She was happy for her because her own family, loud and chaotic and as often loving as it was deficient, had been lacking in ways the Molly had never deserved.

As much as she loved Belinda, Maggie recognised her daughter was a simple woman capable of a simple life. Molly had been different right from the minute she could talk. She'd been a tiny, doll-like toddler with huge green eyes that saw and took in everything around her like a sponge. She'd grown into an intelligent, opinionated, beautiful and brave young woman with very little self-esteem or worth, but enough spark and heart to overcome most things that life threw her way. She'd always been Maggie's favourite because in her Nan's eyes she was very special.

Everything that Molly had achieved in the Army had been through her own efforts and she deserved every word of praise that was heaped on her as her medal was presented. But typically for Molly, she'd been denying that she was in any way deserving ever since the presentation. It seemed to Maggie, that the more praise the was given, the more Molly seemed to slowly be turning in on herself. It was subtle, and you would have had to know her well to notice but there was a sort of distressed distance in her eyes that worried Maggie to the extent that she was on the lookout for reasons behind her Granddaughter's upset on what should have been a day of celebration.

The obvious answer was it was about Smurf, and the absence of Smurf but Molly had been happy enough to talk about the 'Welsh Wanker', as she called him, with warm affection and no sign of upset or reluctance. He had come up in a couple of conversation in fact.

When the officer they called Bossman came up, Molly's reaction had been considerably different. Guarded, careful, almost melancholy. When one of the boys mentioned he was in the same hospital as Smurf, Maggie had her eureka moment, and planned her next steps. It hadn't taken her long to spot the odd person out in the crowd of family groups.

Outside of the warm chatter attention of the boys from Molly's section, it was the intent, smiling attention of one woman in the crowd that had peaked Maggie's interest. Classically dressed linen trousers and tunic with a statement silver necklace, she seemed to be on her own which made her stand out amongst the larger family groups that made up most of the small crowd. She'd been videoing the parade on her phone, which was not unusual. What had been curious was the way she smiled like a beacon of happiness when Molly's Military Cross had been announced. Smiled, recorded and looked suspiciously like she had tears in her eyes.

This was a woman that Maggie needed to speak to because she had a connection to her favourite Granddaughter. Another of Molly's Army family, Maggie guessed. She was perhaps 10 or 15 years younger than herself, give or take a year. Maggie recognised a certain stiffness in the way she moved after standing still for a long time in the way her own hips and knees ached from time to time that made her wonder if she was older than she looked.

With half her attention on Molly and the rest on the woman, Maggie tracked the woman's progress through the crowd to where she was now standing talking to a blond-haired officer. Major someone-or-other. They looked comfortable together, from what Maggie was guessing to be some years of acquaintance. She'd seen other people speak to the Officer, each showing the same polite deference, which he'd returned in kind. That seemed absence in their current exchange which involved a lot of laughing and a brief shoulder hug.

The Officer said something with a grin and the dark hair woman threw back her head and laughed with genuine enjoyment at whatever he had said, before running her hands through her shoulder length dark curly hair and tucking it behind her ears.

Another woman approached their group of two. A small curly haired blond in a floral dress. She tucked her hand through the officer's arm and received a smile and a kiss in response. So, the dark hair woman and the officer were not a couple, Maggie concluded.

Maggie looked back to Molly and watched as she tried and failed to join in with the easy banter of the boys in her section. She recognised Molly expression easily enough; reluctance.

It reminded Maggie of Molly as a young child if she got over tired or overwhelmed. She'd removed herself from the people around her and be found in some quiet space sucking her thumb while twirling a dark curl around and around her finger. Molly's reactions as an adult had matured but not fundamentally changed. Thumb sucking and hair twirling had been replaced with attitude and gob, withdrawal with a propensity to either run away or straight towards on-coming problems.

"Hey, Molls, we have so got to come to the Palace with you!" The lanky Mancunian rather suggestively called Fingers, said. Maggie was sure there _had_ to be a story behind that name.

"Oh mate, put me down for a bit of that." Maggie replied with a grin but was conscious that Molly's reaction was less than enthusiastic.

"We'll have to grab ourselves one of them swanky stretch limos, eh Molls?"

"Mansfield, you might even get to see your doppelganger."

"Doppel-ginga!"

The banter rolled backwards and forwards between the boys, like a well-oiled comedy routine. Molly had a stiff little smile on her face, but her eyes looked much the same; uneasy, distant, anxious. With a hint of something else buried under all the other emotions that Maggie couldn't quite label.

"This muppet reckons he looks like Prince Harry." Fingers explained to Maggie.

"'Bout as much as I look like Duchess Kate!" Maggie replied, catching sight of Dave approaching with more drinks. He been gone a while. The slightly sweaty, pink flush on his face suggested quite plainly what he'd been up to while gone; over enjoying the free bar. Maggie suppressed the urge to roll her eyes with some difficulty.

He smiled widely at the group of boys circled around Molly, exuding alcohol fuelled conviviality.

"I am the proudest dad in the whole world right now, fellas. My little girl..."

Maggie reflected that he actually did look a little choked-up, and that this was the conundrum with Dave. For as much as could be a giant dickhead, he had moments when–

Molly's voice, loud and cross broke Maggie train of thought sharp as a whip cracking

"Just drop this bullshit now, yeah? That's it, alright. I don't want to hear any more! How was what I even did heroic?"

This was the moment that Maggie had seen seeing building inside Molly, and the point where that hidden emotion was about to escaped.

"You deserved it, Molls." The soldier with the rather amusing moniker of Nude-nut said, attempting to soothe Molly.

"You heard what that Captain had to say," Dave said

And there it was, loud as day; guilt.

Molly's eyes flashed angrily. "Yeah from his hospital bed!"

Maggie watched Molly do what she'd been fighting not to do since she'd been surrounded by the boys from her section, her number one defence mechanism. Throw her walls up and run straight towards her mother.

Dave being Dave, had to let his inner dickhead out again as her called out after his retreating daughter, his voice a few too many glasses of fizz loud, "Valour and all that. Bravery on the battlefield…"

"Oh, here she is!" Belinda said.

Maggie watched Molly pin on a smile that didn't reach her eyes and embraced her mother, only for the smile to dissolved back into the same expression of defensive distress as Dave's obnoxious voice carried over the crowd.

"You're a chip off of the old block, ain't ya, Molls?"

Maggie scowled in Dave's direction. About the best thing Maggie could say about her son-in-law was that he loved his family, sometime second place to this own self-interest, but there was a clumsy sort of selfish love there none the less. Shame he had to spoil by opening his big gob quite so often.

The boys of Molly's section seemed to take Molly's exit as an opportunity to politely drift away leaving Dave grinning to himself like the spare tool that he so often resembled, in Maggie's irritated opinion.

Maggie turned her back to him and re-joined the crowd. She had a stranger to stalk and a few loose ends to tie together about Molly's upset. One thing was clear, it had little to do with poor love-sick Smurf, and rather a lot to do with an injured Captain.

Judging by the way the dark-haired women had been covertly monitoring Molly's outburst from the edge of the small group she was standing with, and the worried expression on her face, Maggie would have been willing to bet she was connected to the Captain.

The big redheaded lad, that Maggie couldn't remember the name off seemed to have gone over to the woman and was talking to her as she stood, smiling an talking with Molly's Corporal.

Brains passed by Maggie, obviously heading in her direction and Maggie took her opportunity.

"Brains?"

He stopped with a questioning look and a smile. "Yes, Mrs Dawes?"

"It's Hamilton actually, I'm not related to Molly's bell-end of father except by marriage and my daughters dubious taste in men." She grinned. "Maggie or Nan will do fine."

"Are you going over to speak to…" She nodded towards the small group around the dark-haired woman, trailing off deliberately to encourage him to answer."

He didn't disappoint. "Bossman's Mum, Mrs James. Sure. Do you want an introduction?"

She slipped her arm through his proffered elbow. "Don't mind if I do, and don't you have lovely manners."

~~o00o~~

Molly rubbed her hand over her eyes feelings suddenly tired of the whole day. Looking at her watch, guess that the gather should be beginning to winddown soon, which presented her with her next problem, the creation of excuses for not returning to London, that would not create questions that she didn't want to answer yet. She'd guilty been considering using Smurf in hospital as an excuse, but that really didn't sit well with her given that she wasn't even sure if they were even still mates.

She found a quiet corner to stand, to give herself some headspace and read Charles'; latest text, while desperately wanting to call him just to hear his voice.

 ** _I don't think a Captain and a Private's salary will stretch to race horses, Dawesey, but I like your answer, so I'll say the same – not cats._**

 ** _Is the ceremony over yet? On a scale of 1-10, 10 being you're reaching for a rifle, how annoyed with me are you?_**

 _Not going to lie, I was shocked when they announced it. I'm not annoyed with you. I but don't understand why you wrote me up for an award. I was just doing my job._

 ** _I only wrote the report, further up the food-chain decided you deserved it._**

 ** _You're heartbreakingly self-effacing sometimes, but we'll talk about it later. Where's my question? Love C xx_**

Molly jumped when her Nan touched her arm.

"Molly, there's somebody here who wants to meet you." Maggie said, taking a hold of Molly's shoulders in a surprisingly firm grip as she turned her to face a woman standing to her side.

Molly's wide green eyes took in the tentative smile on the woman face. There was something about the shape of her eyes, curly dark hair…

"Hello, Molly, it's nice to finally meet you."

Cultured northern accent...

"I'm Anna."

Anna rocked back on her heals as she found herself suddenly with an armful of shaking Molly. She closed her arms around Molly's small frame and smiled to Maggie over her shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you for calling when I was in Cyprus. It meant the world to me to get some news."

Molly pulled back and Anna held her face in her hands affectionately.

"Thank you for saving my son."

"I was only doing my job. All of this, the medal and that…I didn't want any of it."

Anna heart filled up even more with affection for the modest young woman in front of her who couldn't seem to see quite how amazing her actions had been.

"I just want you to know how much you've done for my family."

Molly moved back, and she immediately stared down at her feet, looking embarrassed as Anna held her by her shoulders.

"I was a nurse in the RAMC for many years. It brought back good memories to see you in uniform." Anna smiled reassuringly, then said with a meaningful tilt of her head. "You should be proud of your achievements, but I won't mention it again if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

"Nan? How'd you know?"

"Enough now, Molly." Maggie pulled her into quick hug. "You think I don't know you inside and out? That I wouldn't see how upset you were getting about the medal and the Captain. I knew it wasn't to do with Smurf from the start. You're my favourite, Molls. Always were. Know you better than I know me self.

"Anna here and I have had a little chat She's going back to Birmingham now that the parades over, and you're gonna go back with her."

"But–"

Maggie held up her hand in interruption, and continued in a firm tone, "You're gonna go get your bags and leave, while I distract your bell-end of the Dad and let Belinda know why you're not coming home for a while."

Maggie pulled Molly into a tight hug. "You go and spend time with your Captain. We'll be waiting at home when you ready."

"You made an old woman very proud today. Now I want you to go and be where you need to be. You'll be okay. She pushed her towards Anna, who touched Molly on the arm gently.

"Only if you want to, Molly. If you need to spend time with your parents, Charles would understand."

Molly smiled, thinking about their conversation last night. "I'm not sure that he would. But that's okay, just a bit of a waste of the train tickets I bought last night."

"Thank you, Nan."

"Your welcome, be with your proper good'un."

"In coming." Anna said with a laugh.

"What?" Molly asked.

"We're about to be interrupted. A couple of your bodyguards." Anna said.

Molly turned to see Brains, Fingers and Mansfield approaching and sighed. "Probably come to haul me off because it's not the done thing to hug your Captain's mother."

"I think it's more about being over protective of you. Haven't you noticed? At least one of your Section has had eyes on you all day." Anna replied.

"Cock muppets," Molly said affectionately, then blushed. "Sorry, I mean…muppets."

"Do worry about it, I recognise that witticism as one of Charles'. We don't have much time before your bodyguards arrive. Are you ready to go? I have a very impatient patient in Selly Oak to delivery you to."

"Yes, but don't worry, I can catch the train. I don't want to be a bother."

"I have a feeling you're incapable of being a bother, Molly."

"You might want to say that to my Nan. She'd have some stories for you."

Maggie laughed, "Oh I have plenty of stories for another time."

"It's not a problem to give you a lift, Molly. And I might just take you up on that offer, Maggie, you have my mobile number." Both women laughed at Molly's worried expression.

"I'll meet you in the car park. Red Mercedes GLC, my husband's idea of a sensible family vehicle." Anna rolled her eyes for emphasis. "It's a big beast, you really can't miss it."

"I'll need to go speak to Kinders, let him know I'm leaving."

"You do that, we'll distract your bodyguards. Go say your goodbyes, and I'll see you outside." Anna said before heading off with Maggie towards the approaching group of soldiers.

~~o00o~~

Elias had decided to take a break around lunch time, grab a sandwich and visit Charles while he had a spare half hour.

Charles still tired easily but was a lot more alert and had been moved from ICU to a private room on the Acute Care ward. This was a major improvement in his condition which had been a been a long time coming.

Even though he was still very poorly, Elias could see the cabin fever setting in with his son. He was irritable that his physio had started yet, grumbling about the restricted diet and he only really cracked a smile when his phone chimed with a new text from Molly or she came up in conversation.

They'd talked briefly about Molly's medal ceremony. Charles' pride in her achievements but worry about her reaction to the award. Regrets that he couldn't be there.

Of course, Elias knew that his mother would be present and no doubt recording the whole thing but had no interest in kicking a wasp nest by bring the subject up with Charles. He knew he was going to find out about Anna's one track, stubborn as a mule mission to meet Molly eventually, but was hopeful he would be back at work and elsewhere in the building before that storm cloud landed.

When Charles' phone chimed again, and his response was a muttered, "Oh for fucksake." Elias knew his time was up.

Charles drop his mobile onto the bed with an annoyed groan, then looked across to his father with an accusing expression.

"You look worried. I don't suppose it's got anything to do with your girlfriend and your mother sharing a car right now?" Elias asked, careful to hide his amusement.

"Please tell me you didn't know about this?"

Elias shrugged, with a what-do-you-expect-me- to -do sort of expression. "This was all your mother."

"And you didn't think it might be a good idea to go with her to keep things sensible?

"The one thing we were both in agreement with was that an RAMC Private wasn't likely to find it easy to share a car with an RAMC Colonel without some sort of forewarning."

Charles made a grumpy hmm noise in the bank of his throat.

"Your mother is the socially acceptable face of this family in this situation. Besides, you know she's been bursting to meet Molly in person for days now."

Charles made the same noise again but with more emphasis as he fidgeted with the blankets on his bed scowling. Elias knew that Charles was unlikely to be happy about this situation but his reaction seemed a little over the top.

"Charles, is that really what's worrying you?" Elias asked, voice serious as he pulled his chair closer to Charles' bed.

"No, not really."

"So, what is it?"

"This place, maybe. Spending too much time in my own head, ignore me. I know I'm being a grumpy arse."

"You're making good progress, try to remember that."

"It's not even that, well not completely. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How did you know Mum was the right one for you?"

Elias smiled softly. "When I realised that my life didn't make any sense whatsoever without her in it. I knew I didn't want to be without her, but I'll admit it took me a while to come to that realisation.

"Looking back, from that first moment of mistaken identity when she threw that bloody bedpan at my head, she fascinated and scared the living daylights out of me at the same time."

Charles watched at his father's face avidly, enjoying the way his eyes softened and warmed with affection as she recalled his shared history with his wife. It was like he was lit up from the inside, his normal carefully closed off expression was open and unguarded. More than thirty years of marriage, and he was still smitten. Charles wanted that with Molly, more than anything else.

"Really?"

"Oh yes. I might have acted like a right arrogant arsehole to run her off at the start, but she beguiled me from that first moment. I couldn't get her out of my head."

Then the words were tumbling out of Charles without evening trying. It was a relief to off load them onto his willing father.

"With Molly, it's the same. It scares me how much she's come to mean to me in such a short space of time. I worry how much of this haste I have to keep her with me and bring her into my life is because my feelings started in such a pressurised environment. It worries me, too much- "He trailed off, teeth worrying his bottom lip as he tugs at the hair on the back of his head.

"The way she responded to your mother's phone call, and the way you talk about what you've shared… I know I've not met her in person, but they don't seem like the actions of somebody who doesn't care deeply."

"I've never doubted her affections, but there are lots of other reasons to worry, age, difference in backgrounds, different stages in life."

Elias studied his son with a frown. Charles, like his grandfather, was usual the epitome of cool, calm and controlled. It was very clear that this new relationship had him tied up in the best kind of knots.

"It worrying because it means more. You'd have a ring on her finger and down the aisle tomorrow if you could, wouldn't you? There's a protective possessiveness there that you never showed with Rebecca."

"Jesus, you make me sound like a caveman."

Elias grinned. "Perhaps that's all we all are at our most basic. Do honestly believe I was any different before I felt secure in my relationship with your mother?"

"Not exactly a balanced place to start from, though is it?"

"Yes, your relationship with Molly started in a pressurise environment where your roles meant you weren't allowed to be together. Now that you can, is it any wonder you want to secure what you love.

"It's a sad truth about life in uniform, that life can be tragically short. If you'd not been shot and had a chance to date and take some time, I still think you'd feel the same."

"Has Molly ever given you any reason to doubt she feels the same?"

"No, not really, she has moments when her lack of self-confidence makes her hesitate about things like labels and moving forward, but I've never doubted she loves me. Even if she's not said the words yet.

"She shot a man in the head to protect me and will be dealing with those demons in her head for the rest of her life. How could I ever doubt how she feels?"

"The age difference is what, seven or eight years? There's five years between your mother and I, it was never an issue to us. I agree she is young, but she's going to be awarded a Military Cross for a very brave, selfless act. That doesn't strike me as the behaviour of someone who's lacks maturity. I suspect she's like your mother, an old soul.

"It's true Molly's not had the advantages you had growing up, but then neither did your mother and I don't believe you would ever hold that against– "

Charles looked horrified at the suggestion. "Of course not! I love Molly because of all that she is and all she's overcome, and would never judge her, never. I just wish she could see herself the way I see her. She amazing, and she's going to conquer the world in any way she wants, if I have anything to do about it."

Elias grinned, waiting for his son's passionate rant to end. Charles blushed when he realised what his father was doing.

"Jesus, not one word of this conversation must ever be uttered in Elvis's presence, ever! Or to mother!"

"You're a love-sick fool, welcome to the club, my boy." Elias slapped him on the shoulder. "To go back to your earlier comment about you being worried. I'd also add you look scared, but to be honest, you should be both. It isn't proper love if it doesn't scare and thrill you at the same time. Get used to it, thirty plus years and I feel no different."

"I am so fucked, aren't I?"

Elias laughed. "That you are, my boy, but enjoy it. I won't mention anything to Elvis, wouldn't be necessary anyway. You're fucked in that department, too, he's going to see the two of you together eventually I know everything! I'll leave you with that thought."

Charles lay back against his pillows with a martyred expression. "I fucking doomed to never live this down with that idiot."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

In the end, Molly managed to catch Brains alone and let him know that she had a lift to the hospital and was leaving. He hugged her, said he'd let the others know, and to give him a bell and let him know how she was getting on.

As Anna promised the large, fire engine red SUV was laughable easy to find in the carpark. Anna opened the driver's door and half jumped, have slid down the side until her feet hit the ground. She greeted Molly with a roll of her eyes and welcoming smile.

"Either this car is ridiculously large or I'm shrinking in my dotage."

"I've been used to clamberin' in and out of Mastiffs for the last six months, this seems reasonable sized by comparison." Molly said with a laugh, comparing the 4x4 to the massive armoured vehicles used to transport troops in Afghanistan.

Anna looked at Molly as she stood hefting two huge holdalls, her Bergen at her feet and couldn't imagine how Molly managed. She was so tiny.

"I can imagine them being more suitable for some built like my ridiculously tall son than a petite little thing than you, but I remember what it was like to be Army fit. I bet you made it look easy, Med Bergen included." Anna replied with a smile.

She pressed a button on the car key fob and the hatch back opened remotely. Molly lifted her bags into the boot. They both climbed into the car and Anna shot Molly a conspiratorial grin as she programmed the GPS with the hospital's postcode.

"Ready? Let's get this ridiculous vehicle onto the motorway."

 **~~o00o~~**

An hour further up the road, Molly reflected that she'd been expecting this car journey to be uncomfortable. So much so that she'd even had a little pep-talk with herself in the mirror in her room before she'd headed down to meet Anna. A conversation about first impressions, minding her p's and q's, thinking before talking and remember to breathe.

The importance of the woman she was sharing the car with was far from lost on Molly. This was Charles' mother, a woman she had never met in her life except for ten minutes of conversation during which she'd already managed to make a twit of herself by snivelling on her shoulder. Not the first impression she'd wanted to make to a someone she wanted–at some point– to be able to say: please let me into your life because I think I love your son enough for us to last for the rest of our lives and I know his family is very important to him, so I need you to like me, at least a bit.

She entered the car with her walls up, expecting the worst, but hoping for the better and found herself disarmed and willingly open to Anna so easily that didn't even notice when she'd dropped her guard.

Anna was almost too easy to like. Warm, funny with the same dry sense of humour as Charles which Molly had found comforting in its familiarity. She filled the car with gentle chatter and smiling glances and Molly found herself easily returning them like they'd know each other for years not minutes.

"We're about half way there now. Do you want me to pull off for a break? I'm fine either way."

"I'm okay to carry, on if you are?"

"No problem, I know Charles is impatient to see you. Between you and me, he's been a bit of grump since you returned to barracks. Not unexpectedly though, he's always hated being ill or stuck indoors. With these injuries he's both. Can't be helped though."

"I'm sorry that Charles had you drive all the way down here to collect me. I was honestly okay with catching the train."

When Anna looked at her with a slightly guilty expression, Molly, unsure of what the expression meant exactly, was quick to add, "I'm grateful, of course."

"I have a small confession...He never actually asked me to collect you. In fact, I don't doubt he might have a small tantrum when he finds out I orchestrated this meeting."

Molly looked surprised. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean?"

"He doesn't know, Molly. If I'd suggested it, he'd have put a stop to it because he's over protective, like his father. I don't doubt if he'd not been shot, he'd have spirited you away from the runway at Brize Norton and hidden you away somewhere until he was sure you were ready to meet _the parents._ "

Molly found herself giggling at the way Anna emphasis _the parents_ in a doom-laden voice.

"I'm gonna be honest and say I think I would have reacted the same way about introducing him to my family. At least until I was sure he wouldn't make a break for it."

"I'm sure they're not that bad, your Nan was lovely." Anna said with a smile, but was surprised to see the sudden guarded expression on Molly's face. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"No, it's just the differences between us sometimes hits me…and I wonder–I don't know, I suppose I just worry about it sometimes."

Anna removed a hand from the steering wheel and squeezed Molly's knee affectionately. "I think our families have more in common that you might think. It's true my husband's family come from fairly comfortable background, my roots are much more modest. The differences were never an issue between Eli and I."

"My family are complicated." Molly said carefully. "Let's say if we were at some sort of posh do, you'd be sat at one of the tables eating and I'd be one of the waiting staff, or more likely scrubbing pots." Molly rolled her large eyes self-deprecatingly. "My Dad would be the gate-crasher on a one-man mission to drink the bar dry before he got chucked out."

"I wasn't born into any sort of privilege." Anna said gently. "I'm a hill farmer's daughter. My parents got by, but it was hardly luxurious and a leaky, drafty farm house on the side of hill in the backend of nowhere is not the most pampered of lifestyles."

"You might want to try a council flat in Newham, over run with kids and washin', when comparing notes," Molly said with a frown.

"Molly, I'm not trying to compare or compete, honestly. I'm just trying to say I come from very simple roots, like you. Charles' father's family, are a completely different thing, I will warn you, but Elias is also one of the most down to earth men you could possible meet. I promise you.

Anna took in Molly's face stiff with sudden stress, and recognised her sudden insecurity with a rush of compassion.

"My family was also complicated." Anna said softly. "My mother was a rather tricky woman to love.

"I was the only daughter when a brood of boys would have been desirable and a screaming disappoint when measured up to my mother ideals of a perfect daughter. I was my father's favourite, which was something. Unfortunately, it made me competition for his attention in my mother's eyes, but she didn't have the healthiest of marriages, so I think there were reasons for her bitterness. My father had a wandering eye and she, well she refused to forgive and forget his indiscretions but at the same time wouldn't leave him. A home that's a domestic warzone is no home."

"So, you see, I understand complicated families and how they can hurt you, even with the best of intentions."

"As my Granddad used to say. You hum the melody, I'll play the tune.

"My dad is also what you might call a tricky bastard to get along with. Aside from the not working, drinking and proving he purpose in life by producing kids, my Dad at one time expected me to marry my toss pot of a boyfriend because it suited him more than it suited me. His ticket to stayin' on the sick, you see. I won't go into how, I'll just say it was an insane idea even for his booze-soaked brain.

"It also didn't matter what I thought or needed. He never had particularly high expectations of me, too thick for much beyond being knocked up by eighteen, or something. Guess he thought he was speeding up the inevitable."

Anna had to fight to hold her tongue in response to her self-depreciating assessment of herself. The last impression that Molly made on her was a lack of intelligence. She instead carefully asked, "How did you respond to that?"

"Left for phase two training. He disowned me without a backward look. Made my mum go no contact at the same time, she went along with it, but she never was one to stand up to him much. That hurt. Not gonna lie. They didn't even come to my Passing Out.

"Still. I had my Nan. She's the one that pushed my Mum to stand up for me. She got him sorted. As my mum likes to say, he wasn't always a toss-pot. Though I sometimes struggle to remember his better moments."

"How are things now?"

"Better, I suppose. We're speaking again, kind of, but then I don't suppose we were really talking much before." Molly sighed. "I try to put it in a box and move on."

"And that works?"

"As long as I don't touch the box, it works okay." Molly shrugged, but there was a clear hurt in her eyes.

"Did it work any better with your family?"

Anna laughed ruefully with a shake of her head.

"Not really, the pressure of their expectations meant I left when I was 17. I moved to Scotland to be close to my Grandparents and got a live-in job as a nanny. My parents took it as I'd abandoned the family and the farm. There expectation was I'd my someone suitable and carry-on as a farmer's wife. I finished my education through night school and studied nursing in Edinburgh, then joined the Army after I qualified. We didn't speak for more than five years at one point, I was such a disappointment apparently

"With time and a bit of maturity on my side, after I was settled and married, we patched it up to some extent. I loved them, they loved me in their way but it will always be a bit of an emotional bruise, if you see what I mean.

"They died when Charles and Juliet were very small, but I was glad that I still had them in my life, even on a limited way. I made a new family in the army and with Elias and his family. I regret what should have been, not what would have been…if you see what I mean. I made my peace with it."

"I think I'm still working on the making peace part." Molly said with a frown.

"We all come with baggage, Molly. It's part of life."

Molly considered Anna's easy statement. God wasn't that the truth. Aside from family baggage, she also had getting him shot baggage, Bashira baggage, and the as yet un-opened Smurf baggage to sort out. A whole bloody room of luggage, waiting to burst open and drown her in guilt and regrets.

"Wow, that conversation got heavy a bit fast. Sorry." Anna said with a frown. "My intention in collecting you in person was to get to know you better one to one before Charles had a chance to circle the wagons, so to speak. I didn't mean for it to end up on the topic of life confessions." She laughed wryly. "You'll be worried about the domestic drama that you're getting involved with."

"No, it's okay. I was a bit nervous before. I think too much about stuff. Not that everything with Charles hasn't been amazing, but it happened so fast and I let myself get a bit insecure sometimes. Meeting you and you being so… well easy to talk to and, and I don't know… down to earth... helped."

Molly blushed, dropping her eyes to her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap until Anna reached out and squeezed her knee again.

"I'm sorry…I know I'm rambling like an idiot, I'm just trying to say thank you for not judging me and for being so welcoming and that."

"I'm glad. I don't want you to feel awkward around us. That was never my intention."

"You haven't, honestly. The opposite in fact."

"I'm glad. You've been delightful to meet, truly."

Molly's phone made a pinging noise, and she pulled it out to read the text.

"It's from Charles. He just asking where I am."

Anna pulled a face, that Molly wasn't entirely able to interpret, but it might have been frustration.

"On the subject of that impatient boy of mine, I have a favour to ask."

"Of course, whatever you need."

"Can you text him and let you know you're coming, and how. It will be easier coming from you. I'd like to avoid his temper and I'm sensible enough to hide behind you on this occasion. Trust me, it will be better coming from you"

Molly grinned as she started tapping on her phone "Really, he has a temper? I would never have guessed."

"I take it you're being sarcastic?" Anna laughed.

"He wasn't known as Captain Stern-face for nothing. Threatened to lob me out of the plane at Brize Norton, but that's a story for another day."

Molly's phone chimed with another text alert.

"What does it say?" Anna asked as Molly looked back with a grimace.

"You really want me to read it?"

"It's that bad?"

"There's swearing."

Anna sighed loudly. "Sulky man-boy. Don't worry, he's annoyed with me, not you."

"Charles is a sulker?"

"Not often, but Jesus, yes. Olympic gold medal level like his father. Charles with a cob on is quite something. He channels his Grandfather at his arse clenchingly, stuck up, standoffish best."

Molly giggled and the sound was warm and welcome, lightening the atmosphere in the car after their earlier heavy discussion.

"Should you really be speaking to your son's very new girlfriend using the words 'arse clenching' and 'Charles' in the same sentence?"

"Oh Molly, if I have anything to do with it, you are going to be much more than a mere girlfriend and for a very, very long time." Anna said, enjoying the faint blush that rushed across Molly's face. "Was that too much? I'm sorry. I tend to say what's on my mind. You'll get used to me. You're very important to my son, that's all I'm trying to say."

Molly gave herself a mental shake, trying to push back her sudden attack of blushing bashfulness and surprised by how much Anna sounded like Charles when she talked with such certainty about them being together. It was comforting to hear it from a second source.

"So, Charles' Grandfather is rather stern?"

"Was, sadly, we lost him five years ago. He was Sandhurst to the core, but he was a loveable old curmudgeon despite that. Charles was particularly close to him. He would have enjoyed you, a Military Cross holder and with enough spirit to give Charles a run for his money. You'd have been an instant hit."

Molly looked at Anna with a cheeky smile.

"What's that little smile about."

"Arse clenching, really?"

"I'll deny it, if you ever say I said it, but yes, coal into diamonds, my dear. Coal into diamonds."

The car was filled with the happy sound of both their laughter.

 **~~o00o~~**

The beaming smile that was lighting up Molly's face as she pressed the lift to travel up to the HDU unit in the hospital had everything to do with where she was and that she was going to be able to see him and stay with him, finally.

The smile had started with Anna's happy news that Charles had been moved from the ICU to a private room in HCU. In fact, both of them had been grinning at each other like idiots in the car because of it. Anna because she been pleased to be able to share this good news and enjoy Molly's delighted reaction and for Molly because it lifted a weight of worry off her shoulders and replaced the burden with a lighter feeling of relief.

Anna had dropped Molly at the main entrance of the hospital, saying that she'd be back that evening to collect her later. They had discussed Molly staying at their flat, and Molly's offer to find a hotel had been shut down by Anna in very warm, but definitive manner. Molly was very convinced that Anna's rapid departure in the car with her bags was Anna's way of making sure that she sealed the deal and was beginning to appreciate that Charles' mother was a benevolent but rather strong-willed force of nature.

The swinging doors to the HCU opened easily under Molly's eager hands, but unfortunately straight into the path of someone else. Carrying too many ring-binders in a crazily unsteady pile the door impacted against the arms of the young CMT, and sent the folders tumbling to the floor loudly.

Muttering apologies, Molly scrambled to help collect the folders together. Both women kneeling on the floor paused in their efforts when a pair of scrub clad legs stopped beside them.

"Private Anderson, get those files picked up and try not to take out any more visitors while you're doing it, please." A voice scolded.

Molly's eyes tracked up the scrub clad legs, taking in the familiar face and dark hair of Corporal Willoughby.

"It was my fault, I opened the door too fast."

"That's as maybe, be we try not mow down visitors, as a rule." Corporal Willoughby replied with another tart look towards the downturned head of the Private still on her knees on the floor, before she turned away walked off to enter one of the side rooms. The blond haired CMT turn her head towards the departing Corporal and blew a silently raspberry in her direction.

Molly stood up at the same time as Private Anderson, and passed the folders still in her hand over with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault, that old trout finds any excuse to have a go. Join the Army see the World. I get stuck with filing and bed pans in this place, and her!" she replied with venom, and Molly couldn't help but grin as she followed her over to the Nurse's Station where she dumped the files onto the desk.

"Sorry about that, I'm Melissa, Mel."

"Molly."

"What can I help you with, Molly? Need a file, I've got plenty of those. Which department sent you?"

"I don't work here, I just got back from barracks after starting R&R. I'm visiting someone."

"Lucky you. Back from a tour?"

"Yep, Afghan, six months."

"Oh man, I would have loved to be deployed to Afghan. This place is soul sucking pit of doom." Mel leaned onto the desk in front of her, arms crossed with a wide smile. "Still, it's not all boring. We have a new inmate. We've nicknamed him Captain Eye-candy. He's a real ovary warmer."

She cackled at her own joke, and Molly laughed along, while wondering how she was going to introduce the fact that she was in fact there to visit Captain Eye-Candy.

Looking at the young CMT, she recognised elements of herself when she been straight out of specialist training, before Afghanistan striped her of her naiveite and forced her to grow up rapidly. The CMT so full of inappropriate humour could have been her without the experience or Afghan.

She knew Charles had played a part in that. As her CO he'd knocked off her rough edges, and raised her confidence with praise when it was due. Not that she'd agreed with or enjoyed the Doris and stiletto set downs, but with more experienced eyes she could appreciate the necessity without agreeing with his methods.

Molly decided to go with one of her Nans truisms; that you had to full over a couple of times before you could learn to walk, so let Mel continued to happily chatter away. Molly was secure enough to be okay with having someone admire Charles, and she didn't disagree that he was ridiculously handsome.

Molly's phone buzzed, and she pulled an apologetic face at Mel as she read her text message.

 _Where are you? I thought I heard your dulcet tones from outside my room, only to be disappointed by the door opening to reveal a Corporal who wants to poke and prod me then write up her findings._

"So, does the personality match the face?" Molly asked, a little tongue in cheek, while she typed up her reply.

 **It's possible I'm here, talking to another Private who has a bit of crush on you. Then again it might be the drugs. Who knows for sure.**

"No idea, tends to be quite quiet." Mel replied. "Always very polite in a very standoffish Rupert way, but he's not been a git with it." "

 _I'm only interested in one particular Private who has a crush on me, who needs to get her lovely behind in here and save me! The Corporal is now threatening me with a thermometer! God knows where she intends to put it!_

 **In a minute, she's still talking about you. It would be rude to just leave in the middle of a conversation.**

"Has a girlfriend though. He's forever on his phone and one of the RN's who works over in ICU said he kept asking for her when he was in and out of consciousness. So sweet, lucky cow."

 _Molly!_

 **Still talking.**

"Oh," Molly replied, having to work hard not to grin both at Mel's assessment that she was a lucky cow and the image of him being threaten by medical personnel.

 _Tell her in your charming East End parlance to do one! I want you in here with me!_

"Always the way though, eh. Best ones are taken."

 **And where did you learn language like that, posh boy?**

 _From a goby little medic that I'm in love with and I might gonna need her in here with me._

"But I forgot the best bit, he's a bit of a VIP in these parts. He's the son of the Chief Trauma Surgeon. Colonel James. There's obviously good DNA in that family, his dads a bit of fox too. I real D.I.L.F, if you know what I mean" she said with a salacious giggle.

"What?" Molly said, her surprise difficult to hide. She was not sure which was more horrifying. That he was a Colonel or that his staff had those sorts of thoughts about her boyfriend's father, who she'd never met yet. "I'm mean, oh, really?"

They both turned as a door to one of the side rooms was opened and then held open by a grinning Corporal Willoughby.

"Oh, hell." Mel muttered, what's she got to be grinning about."

"Private Dawes!" Charles' voice boomed out from inside the room with impressive volume. "Why are you keeping one of her Majesty's Officers waiting? I could have you up on a charge."

Molly grinned widely, before shouting back. "I'm not sure what you mean, Captain James, I'm not in your chain of command. Med Regiment, me."

"Come on, Dawesey, stop making your wounded boyfriend wait. Have you no heart?"

She turned to Mel, who now had a horrified expression on her face.

"It's okay, really."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"It's fine, honestly. You made me smile, but a much wiser person than me once said that first impressions matter, so make them count. You're getting no judgement from me, but the next person might not be the same. Okay?"

Molly smiled reassuringly, then practically run across the hall and in through the door of his room.

He was sitting up in bed with the biggest shit eating grin on his face and his arms wide open for her as she stepped through the door as the Corporal stepped out.

Six large steps and she was sitting on the edge of the bed, buried against his chest with her face pressed against the side of his, eyes wet, and squeezing him as tight as she dared.

He pressed a kiss against the top of her hair, arms tightening even further.

"Hey you." he said, coxing her to sit back and look up, his finger tracing her cheeks. Thumbs wiping the wet trail of tears away gently.

"Hey you." she smiled, conscious of the slight trembling in her hands as they stroked through his hair.

"Why the tears?"

"They're happy tears, it's so good to see you, touch you, and know you're okay."

"Of course, I'm okay. I've got my Dawesey back with me. I'm 110% okay." He grinned, holding her hand against his face with his own before pecking a kiss against her palm.

"Maths never was my subject. Well, you know the whole schooling thing was never my thing, but I'm pretty sure percentages are supposed to add up to 100, aren't they? Are you sure you didn't hit you head as well as get shot. Might be–"

He silenced her with a kiss. Warm lips meeting her smiling mouth, and moving against her lips with gentle, but firm pressure before pulling away with a grin of his own.

"Now I know you're definitely okay, if you're able to take the piss so easily."

He pulled her back against him, and she tucked herself in against his chest, head tucked under his chin with a contented sigh.

"What was all that about outside. Shoutin' the odds. Clear to see you haven't lost you're bossy, Captain voice."

He made a snorting noise, then laughed. "You were keeping me waiting, and I wanted to make sure I was clear that's there's only one Private I'm interested in despite being on a hospital ward full of Privates."

"Oh, I think you got that message across loud and clear. Embarrassed the poor woman."

"Don't care. Needed you in her with me, and here you are."

Molly sat up, taking the time to look at him properly and was pleased to see that all was as Anna had said in the car. He was doing well. The drains and drips that he had been attached where removed, and while he was still pale, he was a significantly better colour than grey pallor from when she had seen him last.

Molly was flooded with such a sense of relief that she could see and touch him and know that he was okay, that a soft sob worked its way out of her throat with another welling of tears.

He held her face, much as he had when Sohail succumbed to his injuries, dark eyes worried.

"No more tears, please."

"Smurf told me, back in Bastion, that they had to resuscitate you twice. That your heart–" she pressed her hand against his chest, wanting to feel the reassuring rhythm under her fingers "–stopped twice."

"I'm here, and I'm fine now…"

"I know, I know. It's just, I can't quite believe you're really here… If I'd lost you before we ever really had a chance to get together, I don't know how I'd _ever_ forgive myself."

He smiled with the most adorable lopsided smirk. "I thought that was one of my lines?"

She giggled through the tail-end of another sob. "Maybe we've been spending too much time together."

"Never. Come here."

She tucked herself back under his chin as he stroked her hair reassuringly until she was calm again.

"I never wanted you to find out about that. Smurf should have known to keep his trap shut." he said, sounding annoyed.

"It was in the heat of the moment, just as you were being taken to theatre. He was very upset."

"You were there?"

"Straight from the helicopter, fastest I've ever run. Put all your PT sessions to shame, I'm telling you."

He laughed. "Molly Dawes, queen of the missed point, as ever."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't want you to see me like that, to have those memories. What you saw on the bridge was enough. I know you, you're going to worry over them, find blame where there was none."

His arm tightened across her back, lips against the top of her head again. "I don't want you to worry on it anymore. I'm here. We're here. It's over. Okay?"

She sat up, and turned to look at him. "Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Not that I ever doubted it, but I believe that's the first time you've ever told me that directly, Dawesey."

The beaming smile on his face was enough to make up for the scarily large meaning of those three little words.

"You'd better get used to it. I intend to say it lot and lots from now on."

"Fine by me, Dawesey. Long may it continue."

 **~~o00o~~**

Anna tip-toed carefully into the darkened bedroom, balancing a mug of sweet tea in one hand and plate of jam laden toasted crumpets in the other and only a little bit guilty to be waking him up from sleep for night-shift early.

She placed the breakfast items on the bedside cabinet carefully, then sat on the bed.

"Is it that time again?" his sleep roughen voice asked, as Elias rolled over to face Anna. When he brought his wrist up and his watch lite up showing the time, she had the good conscious to look a bit sorry. "Or not."

"So, what's happened that I have been blessed with you lovely presence an hour early, my lovely?"

He held his hand out to her, and she joined him, laying on her side practically nose to nose.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." she said with a wide smile. "She's perfect. Spirited, brave, loving, with the most genuinely gentle, vulnerable heart I've ever…she just perfect for him."

As Elias' eyes adjusted to dark, he reached out to stroke Anna's face with a worried frown. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because everything going to be fine. They're going to be perfect together."

"Anna James, you old romantic. Come here." He held his arms open to her, then cuddle her into his side with a sigh. "We'll be having a house guest for the next couple of weeks?"

"We agreed it would be easiest."

"You mean you told Molly where she'd be staying, and didn't take no for an answer."

"Possibly, but it was the most common-sense course of action. I've left her bags in the spare room. She's with Charles now. You don't have a problem with that, surely?"

"Of course not, my lovely, as if I'd dare to argue."

When Anna jabbed him in the ribs for his cheek, he laughed and rolled them both over so she was underneath.

"I agreed to collected Molly later tonight."

"Then we have the flat to ourselves until then. And you've woken me up extra early. Just what else where you planning to do with me with the extra time?"

"Your tea and crumpets will get cold." Anna said with a laugh.

"Hmm, I think I would rather have them cold anyway…"

 **~~o00o~~**

Molly woke up groggily to the sensation of her shoulder being shook gently. She opened heavy lidded eyes find herself eye-level with a camo covered chest, bearing the rank slide of two pips and a crown. She shot to her feet in a rush and braced to attention, only able to collected her scattered wits together enough to recognise that a Colonel had just woken her up.

Her second attempt to collect her wits was a side-eye glance away from where her eyes were currently fixed on the extremely tall officer's shoulder. She saw a female hand hovering in the air momentarily before dropping to an equally female hip.

"It's okay, Molly, it's just my parents making an unannounced entrance." Charles said sleepily, as he pulled himself gingerly upright against his pillows. "Come here, you're fine."

Warm fingers closed around the arm she was still holding rigidly by her side and tugged gently. With a heavy exhale of breath, she allowed herself to fold down onto the bed beside him, and settle back into comfort of his muscular arms which wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against the warmth of his chest.

He pressed a kiss against the side of her head, then murmured by her ear. "You alright?"

"I'm fine." she murmured in reply. "Can't believe you let me do this _again_."

His only response was a low chuckle and another kiss pressed to the top of her head.

She raised her eyes to where Anna and Elias where standing side by side, Elias' hand on Anna's shoulder. His expression was polite, but not what Molly would describe as warm, where Anna's face was apologetic, as her eyes flicked between her son and Molly.

There was no way anyone could argue whom Charles' parents were. His features, height and colouring were all a perfect blend of them both. Elias was tall as Anna was tiny, blond with the same dark brown eyes and angularly, handsome face as his son. From Anna he definitely received the hair, dark colouring and shaped of mouth. When he smiled, it was all his mother.

"Sorry, that was not my finest moment. My mum says I sleep like the dead, the rest I'll just blame on the bleedin' Army."

Elias' stern expression melted into a grin and then a rich rumble of laughter. "Ah, Poppet, I think we can agree that there are many, many things that the Army can be legitimately blamed for. I'm sorry we I startled you."

Anna and Charles shared a knowing look.

"I think it actually me who's to blame here, this lanky fellow just happened to be standing in the wrong place. Besides, he gets plenty of saluting in his day-job, we don't want to encourage his ego with extra." Anna added wryly.

"True, My Lovely, but I'll be getting them tonight as well. Nightshift for me." he said, dropping a kiss onto Anna's cheek.

"Anna's come to show you back to the flat for the night. I'll keep an eye on this one for you." he said, smiling towards his son.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note**

So, Rosabaya is featured in this chapter in decaff form. In real life it doesn't exist because Nespresso don't make Rosabaya anymore and they never made it in decaf in the first place, but lets just go with it because it will make CJ a very happy Captain. ?

As ever thank you for the reviews.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

Anna tucked her hair behind her ears as she walked through from her bedroom to the kitchen following the small of freshly toasted bread and coffee. Molly was transferring hot toast to a plate as she entered, a look of comically intense concentration on her face.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

Molly turned with a smile. Dressed in one of Anna's dressing gowns over her own pyjamas, she looked a little like a child playing dress up as the cotton flora material trailed on the floor behind as she turned.

"Morning."

"So, I think I have this coffee machine sussed this time," she said, passing Anna a cup of black coffee. "It made plenty of hissing and spluttering noises, so I'm guessing it's all good?"

Anna sipped the drink, and smiled at Molly over the rim of the cup. "Perfection. But I told you yesterday, you don't need to keep cooking breakfast."

"I want to do something to help. You're putting me up and feeding me, and that."

"The marked improved in Charles' mood is more than enough payment. He turned into a moody not so little whatsit when you were in barracks."

They both sat at the breakfast bar, Molly having to adjust the dressing gown on her arms as the garment swamped her shorter frame.

Anna grinned watch Molly hitch up the extra material so she could climb onto the bar style stool.

"I'm sorry I didn't have something that would fit better."

"It's not your fault I'm a short-arse, is it and it's not as though I packed that sort of thing for Afghan. I'll need to take a trip back to London to collect some more clothes soon."

"Have you firmed up plans with your family?"

"No."

"Your mum must be missing you."

"She understands. It's just… I'm not ready to leave him yet. Maybe when he's a bit more mobile. Started his physio and that."

"Charles' wouldn't want you to miss seeing your family. We're always here, and Elvis texted last night. He'll be back in the county soon and able to visit."

"Elvis?"

"Charles hasn't mentioned him?" Anna said, sounding surprised. "Lovely Elvis. How to describe him? He rather defies description until you meet him, if I'm honest. He's Charles' best friend from school… also, Army. A Captain in Special Forces. They've been inseparably since they were kids."

"Meeting the best mate. No pressure they're then."

Anna laughed.

"You don't need to be worried. It wouldn't surprise me if already knows all about you. He and Charles are very close and you're important to Charles, so you'll be important to Elvis, I promise." Anna replied, attempting to sooth the slight worried on Molly's face.

"By the way the capsules you asked me to order arrived yesterday. They're in the cupboard by the coffee machine. He's going to be delighted. Wouldn't surprise me if he proposed." Anna teased, laughing softly at the pink blush that flashed across Molly's cheeks.

"Anna! You're as big a piss-take as your son."

"Who do you think he learn it from…sorry, I couldn't resist. Am I forgiven?"

"As my future mother in law, I'd have to forgive you, wouldn't." Molly replied with a grin.

"You have me there." Anna replied, squeezing Molly's shoulder affectionately. "You'll find a travel mug in with the cups. Help yourself. When are you heading out?"

"He's expecting Rebecca to drop in with Sam first thing. I wanted to wait, let them have some time together."

"I hope you mean Charles and Sam. There's no way he would want to spend more time than necessary with Rebecca."

"Charles wanted me to come. It was me that said no. I think it would be better to meet Sam when Charles is out of hospital and home. Sam has a poorly Daddy to cope with. Meeting the new girlfriend isn't really important just now. Little guy has enough going on without that."

"Sam's a warm little chap, I think he'll get along with you like a house on fire. But if that's what you think is best."

Molly hesitate for a second, as though considering what to say.

"I over heard him on the phone with her… Rebecca. She didn't sound too keen on Sam meeting me right now."

"Bloody woman, she's got about as much warmth as a rattle snake. The concept of shared parental responsibly rather seems to have passed her by. It's really not up to _just_ her."

"I don't want to cause any problems."

"You aren't Molly. Leave Rebecca to Charles. He'll sort it."

"So, you're saying Charles has skills as a snake-charmer?" Molly said with a grin.

"Oh, most definitely. But if that doesn't work, he'll just out stubborn her. I don't think she's ever won when faced with his James family male patented bloody mindedness. Trust me. It's in his DNA, his father a bloody nightmare when he digs his heals in as well."

 **ooOOoo**

Molly grinned as the look of pleasure broke a cross Charles' face as he sipped his coffee. Sat on his bed, playing with the fingers of his free hand, she watched as he drank deeply from the travel mug provided by Anna.

"I knew there was a reason why I said I'd adore you forever regarding supplies of coffee."

"Don't get too excited. It's decaff. You're not allowed the proper stuff yet."

"I don't care, this is heaven. I didn't even know they made Rosabaya in decaf. You're a bonified bloody genius. I've been going crazy in here with boredom waiting for you to arrive. Then you appear baring gifts. I don't suppose you have any chocolate in that bag of yours?" he said, looking hopeful.

"It is possible that I have a bar of Green & Black salted caramel which a certain mother told me is your favourite. But you're only allowed a little bit."

"I knew there was reason why I kept you both around," he replied, pressing a kiss against her cheek followed by a head tilt, wide brown eyed stare and soft smile. "Can I have some now?"

"Nah., I thought I'd save it for later. But if you give me another kiss, I might be pursued to give you some now."

"Lovely, come over here then." he replied as he tugged her closer. "It wouldn't pay"–he pressed a kiss to her forehead–"to disappoint"–another to her cheek-"my supplier"–another to her other cheek–"now would it, hmm?"

Molly pre-empted his further teasing by turning her head and pressing her own lips against his firmly, and nothing else was said for several minutes.

"You're a freaking tease!" she said, tucking herself in against his side.

"So are you." He tightened his arm around her with a content sigh. "Now, where's my bloody chocolate. I earned it."

"Okay, keep your wig on. Here. Two squares, that's all you get for now."

"You're a hard woman, Molly Dawes. A hard, hard woman."

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

"Very true."

"How did you visit with Rebecca and Sam go?"

"Fine. Sam is full of beans as usual. I have a new message." He turned his arm over to show her the writing on his skin that said: miss you daddy.

"Your mum left me with the impression that Rebecca isn't exactly her favourite person."

"Only an impression? You must have got her on a good day." he said wryly. "Thing got rather messy before we finally called it a day. My mother blamed Rebecca. Truth is it was really both our faults. Rebecca isn't a bad person. We were just never meant to be married with a child."

"We've never really talked about you and her…well, except that you broke up."

"It's past history, and not one of the happier points in my life. I made the mistake of clamming up about once, won't do that again." he said, stroking his fingers up and down her arm affectionately.

"I remember. You were a bit of fuck-muppet that day."

"I wouldn't want to be accused of fuck-muppetry twice on the same subject, so, what do you want to know?"

"I don't know…how did meet? Stuff like that I suppose."

"We dated in our last year at university. It should have ended when we both graduated and moved on to jobs and careers. We stuck it out when I started at Sandhurst, as a sort long distance relationship but broke up when she got a six-month internship in Hong Kong

"We didn't see each other again for more than a year then met up at a New Year's party of mutual friends. One drunken night and a contraception fail and later and our lives were tied together as parents.

"I tried to do the right thing by proposing, thinking that we had enough in common to make it work for the child we'd both created. She wasn't convinced initially, but we both tried to step up and make it work. To be fair, things were okay at the start.

"Sam came along, I was there in time for the birth, just, and I loved him from the first moment he opened his eyes and looked at me. Rebecca managed to muddle along together.

"To be honest, I was around less than I should have been. We got on with life and things worked well enough. I was promoted, we bought a house close to both our parents. Sam was maybe two when the cracks started to show properly.

"Rebecca was struggling with being at home all the time, missing adult company and her career. I understood, she needed more in her life. I had the army, I didn't begrudge her needing more. We got a nanny, our mothers helped, she got a job locally part time. Then she was approached by her old firm to work part time, but in London.

"I'd been promoted again but with a barrack shift to Catterick with the battalion. Too far for either of us to commute, and too far from family support for it to work in practical terms.

"We tried to compromise, sold the house, rented in Hertfordshire, both commuted. About six months later I was deployed to Afghanistan. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it was a relief. I found doing my job in war zone easier than dealing tension at home.

"We were both exhausted with work, commuting having a young toddler. One of us was always leaving the other to go somewhere else. I bloody hate driving up the M1 to this day. Rebecca missed her family, and struggled to make friends where we were renting. It was a mess, we were both unhappy but didn't talk to each other about."

"Sounds tough."

"I went off on my second tour oblivious, to be honest, about how bad things really were and happily– selfishly–buried myself in my own responsibilities on the other side of the world.

"Have way through the tour she sent me an email to say that she'd broken the lease on the house and moved back to her parents and resigned from her job. I came back on R&R to a new house I'd never seen and a distance between us that I hadn't even noticed happening. That was the beginning of the end.

"We tried for a while long, for Sam's sake, but it didn't work. We weren't in each other's live anymore except for Sam. There was no common ground and a lot of resentment that we couldn't get passed and until we run out of reason to keep trying and we separated officially.

"Rebecca setup her life again. New house in Bristol, her parents moved from Plymouth to Wells, when her father retired from the Navy, to help out. Rebecca got her old job back and worked in London two days a week and from home three days. She had everything sorted."

"That must have been hard, seeing her setting up a life without you."

"I felt guilty, for a while. Not to sound like too much of an arrogant git, but it was probably the first major thing in my adult life I failed at. I wasn't proud of that. It's probably why I was such an idiot in hesitating to telling you about Sam. My ego got in the way, if I'm honest"

"You were a muppet, it's true, but we weren't really in a place where I should have had expectations on knowing personal stuff."

"That's a very kind interpretation of the situation, but untrue. We were in place when I should have shared, but I only realised it as you were storming away from me outside my office.

"I missed Sam, always do, but I never really loved or missed Rebecca the way a husband should. I had my career, and Sam and left her to struggle to bend her life around mine. I was selfish. I felt guilt, regret that I failed at something, but I never missed her in my life, the way I'd miss you.

"That's how I knew what we had was the real thing. Why I know you are all that I want and worth more than anything else.

"Molly smiled and burrowed herself against his chest. "Soppy, old, git."

"Enough of the old."

He tickled her sides in gentle retribution and Molly yelped in reaction until his arms closed around her, holding her with her back against his chest, and her head tucked under his chin. Warm and close.

He was silent for a long while afterwards and Molly could sense the shift in his mood from playful to pensive. She turned around so they were facing each other and studied his face. His eyes dark with some emotion that she couldn't quite read.

"What's the matter?"

He held her face gently, his expression heavy with emotion. "I won't ever make the same mistakes with you. Never, Molly. Do you hear me? I swear to you. Never."

She ran her hands through his hair, a lump in her throat at the shear swell of emotions that his words stirred. She was filled with simply, heart-breaking gratefulness that someone with such a beautiful heart had chosen to love her that much.

"There is a part of me that never gonna understand why you love me that way you do, and before you tell me off for not thinking I'm _enough_ to deserve you, I am working on that. I think I might never understand, and will probably never be able to express what you mean to me enough…ever but that doesn't mean the feeling ain't there. To the rest, I think ditto about covers it."

"Who's being a soppy git now then?"

"Oi!"

 **ooOOoo**

Their morning together was interrupted by his first physio session since he'd moved to the HDU ward. Loathing to admit it to Molly, it took more out of him than he had been expecting. Though he expected those huge green eyes of hers saw straight through his bullshit performance of being _just fine._

With very little appetite, the lunch that followed was an exercise in eating enough to keeping Molly happy, for Charles, even though each mouthful was an unappetising effort.

When it was obvious that he was fighting sleep, Molly had closed the blinds, encouraged him to stretch out and sat talking quietly to him until he'd drifted off to sleep.

He woke up to Molly's absence and the sound of her voice talking quietly to someone outside of the door.

"Molly?"

"Hey," she said, returning to his bed side. "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Can you pass me some water, please?" he asked, as she opened the blinds, letting the late afternoon sunlight light the room again.

Molly filled a glass from a water bottle by his bed, and passed it to him. He pulled himself gingerly up against his pillows, smiling as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks. I'm parched. It's always so bloody hot in here."

"No problem."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Candy…. Mrs Smurf."

"Ahh."

"He's still not replied to you then."

"No. I tried again while you were asleep. She answered his phone. He's apparently had a session with an Army shrink today and he's not in the best place in his nut just now. She thinks I should leave off visiting for a day or two."

"Are you upset?"

"No, well sort of. I don't want to force him to talk to me if it's not the right time, but I can't help thinkin' it's going to get harder the longer we leave it. I want to clear the air between us."

Charles squeezed her hand reassuringly. "He'll come around when he's ready."

"I hope so. I;ve gotten used to having the annoying bugger under me feet all the time at the FOB, this distance feels weird. Candy said that he might be going home at the end of the week."

"Maybe you'll get a chance to see him off?"

"I want to see him before he goes." Molly pulled the infamous ring out of her pocket, laying it on the palm of her hand for a moment she studied it absently. "I need to talk to him and give this back."

Charles watched her fiddling with the leather lace to which the ring was still tied, his eyebrows raised in such a way that she knew he was vexed.

"Is that a problem?"

"No, but I be lying if I didn't admit to being a tad jealous."

"You've nothing to be jealous of. You know that, don't you?"

He reached for her free hand, twining their fingers together before raise it to his lips. "I know, I'm being an idiot."

"This really bothers you, doesn't it?" Molly said, indicating the ring.

"What it represents bothers me, but I recognise I'm being unreasonable." he replied carefully.

"It's one of the reasons to see him. Well, that and he's my mate who's going through something. I'll be coming back to you afterwards."

"I realise I'm being a jealous, arse, but I can't help it. Being in this place, even with you here by my side is so bloody frustrating. I want to give you the world. Instead I'm stuck in this fucking bed. This definitely wasn't the home coming I saw for us."

He held up his arm, and she cuddled into his side with her head against his neck.

"I don't care about that. I'm happy to be here with you, safe and on the mend."

"Hmm, I had slightly higher expectations of our homecoming, but I happy you're here, too."

"Now I'm intrigued. You sound like a man who had a plan."

"It's possible I looked into a reservation for a long weekend at a spa hotel. Somewhere quiet and beautiful where we could have spent time getting to know each other away from squaddies, Army regs, and well-meaning but bloody nosy mothers."

"Anna said you'd have squirrelled me away straight from Brize given the chance. Seems she was right."

"Like I said, romantic and quiet away from nosy mothers." Charles replied, rolling his eyes.

"I would have settled for a knee trembler in the carpark at Brize." Molly replied, absently, then froze. "Shit, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Did you think I was any different? You'd been driving me nuts for weeks since before you left on R&R. I was just trying to be more of a gentleman about it."

Charles roared with laughter, causing a twinge of pain in his side. Molly sat up quickly when she felt him flinch, and stood up by the bed.

"Hey, where are you going? Wait…are you blushing? Shit, Molly. I didn't mean to embarrass you. Come here, please."

She sat down on the edge of the bed almost bashfully and he reached for her, holding her face gently, thumbs stroking against her cheeks.

"I love you, and I've always wanted you, that way. When I finally get out of this bloody room, I taking you on a proper date. Dinner, somewhere ridiculously expensive with too much food and good wine. You deserve it all."

"No dancing?"

His bark of laughter had her smiling this time. "I'm game if you are."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Molly woke up fuzzy headed and confused as to why her pillow appeared to be vibrating and buzzing. Her last memory was of saying goodnight to Charles on Facetime, then nothing but blissful sleep. Dawning realisation landed heavily on her as she jerked into a sitting position suddenly wide awake.

Groping under her pillow for her mobile, she looked at the time on the phone screen. It was two a.m. She was left her with a sinking feeling that something serious was occurring. At least his name on the screen was reassuring because it meant it wasn't someone from the Ward or Elias calling.

"Charles? Are you okay?"

"Molly?" He sounded out of breath somehow and she was instantly worried.

"What's the matter?"

He sighed heavily before he spoke again, as though he'd been holding his breath. Molly's grip on her own phone tighten with worry. Something was definitely wrong.

"I'm sorry it's so late. I didn't think before I called".

To Molly he sounded shaky, for want of a better word, his voice lacking his usual quiet confidence.

"I just wanted to hear your voice, Molly."

There was something in the way he said her name that struck Molly. It was about as close to vulnerable as she'd ever heard him sound. Even when he'd been laying on his back bleeding to death on a bridge in Afghanistan, he'd been under control of himself. This was something else.

Passing her phone into her left hand, she started getting dressed hurriedly.

"Charles–"

He cut her off; his voice suddenly all business.

"Look, I'm being an idiot. I just wanted to check you were okay. Go back to sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"It's fine and I'm fine." Molly said confused as she hopped on one leg trying to pull on her jeans.

"I love you. Sorry, again…"

"I love you too," she said, but he had already hung up.

Twenty minutes later, after a rapid text message exchange with Mel, the CMT she'd met on her visit to the HDU, Molly was hurrying out of the lift towards the Ward.

In the couple of weeks that she'd spent with Charles on the Ward, Molly had worked hard to get to know the staff. As the people that looked after him, they were important to her and worthy of the effort of knowing their names and their coffee orders as far as she was concerned. Not that she would have had the ego to notice, but as much as Charles was a bit of a local celebrity on the ward as the esteemed Colonel James' son, Molly was in turn a staff favourite just through Molly being Molly.

Mel was waiting for her at the Ward doors and held them open for Molly to pass through with a welcoming smile despite Molly's more strained expression.

"Hey."

Molly pulled a tin of biscuits out of her shoulder bag and passed them to Mel as they crossed to the Nurses' Station.

"You didn't need to bring bribery. I'd have let you in anyway. Willoughby would have had my arse otherwise. Significant other of the Colonel's son and all that, you get an all areas pass."

"I can't take the credit for the biscuits, they're from Anna. They were in my bag to bring in the morning. Was gonna bring them in with coffees, but that kind of went to pot what with it being the middle of the night."

"Still weirds me out hearing Mrs James called by her first name. Especially from you. You're one of us, if you know what I mean. Even if you're dating a Rupert."

Despite her worry for Charles, Molly grinned at Mel's gentle cheekiness. "Well no one's perfect."

"I don't suppose you're here in the middle of the night for no reason." Mel said, putting the biscuit tin behind the desk of the Nurses' Station.

"How's he been?" Molly asked, all of her earlier humour replaced by worry.

"Restless. Shouting out in his sleep. Refused a sleeping pill a while back when it was offered."

"Thanks, Mel. I know I'm not supposed to be here after hours."

Mel rolled her eyes. "As if you're a normal visitor. Go see him, I'd imagine he's still awake."

When she walked in, he was sitting up in bed staring out towards the dark windows, profile tense. He turned towards the open door with his Captain-piss-off face firmly in place, but she could see beyond it easily. The lingering anxiety in his dark eyes outed him before he said a single word.

He held his arms open to her without a word and she went into them gratefully, winding her arms around him tightly. He clung to her, burying his face against the warm skin of her neck as she stroked his hair, tangling her fingers in his curls as she murmured his name soothingly until she felt him slowly relax.

"Nightmare again?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. It was just so bloody real. I needed to hear your voice to calm down."

"I don't mind. I'll always be here if you need me. They said you refused a sleeping pill."

"They don't help. Just makes it harder to wake up with a clear head if I have another dream."

"Could you sleep if I sat with you?"

"I don't… I'm not tired anymore." he said, pulling back from her arms.

She studied his face for a moment, focussing on the dark circles under his eyes that suggested that his statement might be a bit of a fib.

"If I lay with you, would that help?"

"I don't want to sleep, Molly." he said again, his tone sharper.

Molly took a moment to consider whether she needed to push the point, knowing disturbed sleep might mean he needed to talk things through with someone, but she decided to leave it for now. He looked strung out and upset while trying desperately to hide it.

"Alright then, pass me your iPad."

He did so wordlessly and a little confused. Molly smiled at him widely, distraction being the aim of her game. She checked the icons on the screen for a couple of minutes before finding what she was looking for.

"Good, you've got Prime Video on here. Question is, do you trust me with you're Amazon password?" she asked coyly.

"I trusted you with my life in Afghanistan, so I think I can manage sharing a password." he replied, now intrigued as Molly pressed him to lean back against his pillows, and re-arranged herself so she was leaning back against him, while mindful of his injuries.

"Lovely," she replied, deliberately copying his familiar use of the word. "I'll make sure to pass it onto the boys next time we're chattin' on WhatsApp, seeing as you should trust them just the same."

"Very amusing, but I think we might gonna need to keep it between _us_." he replied, copying her turn of phrase as she had him. "My bank balance wouldn't be up to the shopping spree that would follow if those cock wombles ever got a hold of it."

She turned and grinned at him at that image. "Can you imagine the random shit that would appear at your parent's house. It would be epic. Anna would love it."

"Hmm, not what I'd choose to call it. What are you buying anyway?"

"Thought you said you trusted me?"

"Molly!"

"If we're going to be staying awake at the back arse of whatever time, we need a bit of entertainment, and I'm choosing Game of Thrones. Before you get all high and mighty about watching TV, I'm also downloading the first two books. One or the other should keep you busy. Baz said it was good. Has dragons apparently."

"Well if Baz says it's good…" Charles replied wryly, pulling her tighter in to his chest before pressing a kiss against the crown of her head.

She plugged his ear buds into the iPad, pressing one to her own ear while passing one back to him so they were sharing.

"Best keep it quiet though, eh?" she said, laying her head back against his chest as she set the first episode running.

He stroked his fingers down her face, gently lifting her chin so that she was looking up at him directly.

"I don't think you have any idea just how much I love you. Do you?" he said quietly, dark eyes soft and warm.

"I think I do. Especially since you're willing to watch Baz's TV recommendations with me without a protest." she replied, grinning when he threw his head back laughing loudly enough for her to feel the need to start shushing him.

He settled her securely against his chest again grinning. "Bring it on then, Dawesey, dragons and all."

 **ooOOoo**

Despite a night of disturbed sleep, Molly was a very small woman on a _very_ determined mission the next morning. Charles had named it 'Operation Smurf' with much amusement.

Aware, via Candy, that Smurf's time at the hospital would shortly be coming to an end, she was trying to decide if he was avoiding just her or everyone in their Section.

Both Charles and Candy had encouraged her to drop by Smurf's Ward. Molly had been hesitant and worried that she might makes things worst by pushing her way into his company before he was ready.

She had conceded to Charles that the Molly she'd been pre-Afghanistan might have just stamped down stairs and demanded to be heard, but she'd grown up a lot since then–enough to know bull in a china shop wasn't the only approach to explore.

The way things had been left between them was messed-up, to say the least. Molly was honest enough with herself to admit that if the cost of having Charles was losing Smurf, she would let him go with guilt but without regrets. They'd been good mates and despite Smurf's muddled feelings, he'd been there for her many times when she'd needed a shoulder to lean on or friendly banter to pull her out of a funk. She felt she owed it to him, as the mate's they'd once been, to at least say goodbye face to face one last time. Even if the goodbye might not be welcome anymore.

She started with a round robin WhatsApp message trying to understand if Smurf was avoiding everyone or just Molly. She had been at it for most of the morning. Fitting in conversations around Charles' physio visits and the nurses popping in and out of the room at regular intervals.

Later that morning, Charles nodded off with her curled up against his chest tapping furiously away on her phone to Kinders and woke up to her sitting cross legged on the bed with her back to him still engrossed in her phone.

She made for a tempting target, slim back turned to him and her arm extended holding her phone exposing her arm pit to long fingers. She didn't notice Charles stretch toward her until she was shrieking with shocked laughter and protests. She half deafening poor Dangles, who was on the other end of phone, with her impressive vocal volume.

"Oi! Keep your hands to yer self!" Molly bellowed, trying to wriggle out of reach "Shit, stop it…stop!"

"Lovely way to speak to your wounded boyfriend, Dawesey" Charles replied laughing until she silenced him with a hand over his mouth and a shake of her head.

"Dangles…Yeah…I didn't mean to yell. That was my bell-end of boyfriend mucking around, sorry. Yep, nothing wrong with my lungs. Sounds posh, I suppose? Never really stopped to think about it to be honest."

Pink colour began to creep across Molly's cheeks, and Charles moved his hand to her back, stroking reassuringly instead of tickling this time as he realised, he might just have put his size ten feet in it big style, as Molly might have said.

"Don't go stretching your brain power there, Dangles. Of course, he doesn't sound like Captain James."

Molly turned to face Charles, poking in him in the chest accusingly while trying to extract herself from the conversation with Dangles before she got in any deeper.

"Because what in the name of God would I be doing with Captain James, you nut bar." She forced a giggle, then managed a real laugh when Charles opened his eyes comically wide and mouthed: who me, before pulling her down against his chest with a grin. She tucked herself willing under his chin, laying her free arm across his chest in a one-armed hug.

"Look, I've gotta go. His nibs is getting impatient and I really should give him some attention since he's wounded and all. Yeah, sure. Bye mate."

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were actually speaking to someone instead of texting.

"It's okay. He was just mucking about, I think. Not sure that it matters in the end anyway, they're going to find out at some point. I was just looking forward to yanking Finger's chain for a bit longer."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you being anywhere near Fingers and chains." Charles said with a grin.

"You know what I mean, you piss taker."

"What was his latest attempt at fishing for information?"

"He said that he hadn't heard from Smurf, then asked how 'you', as in my yet to be named boyfriend, were. Then tried find out when you'd be going home and where home was."

"He's quite the Miss Marple when he set his mind to it."

"I was just the right side of vague to give him nothin' but leave him thinking that I might have said somethin'."

"Molly Dawes, evil genius at work."

"Too right."

She slipped off the bed and walked towards the room door, looking out into the corridor before returning to sit with him. "Doesn't look like they've started lunch yet."

Charles rolled his eyes making his unspoken feelings on the subject of the hospital food very clear while eying Molly's shoulder bag pointedly.

"You know how I feel about that exercise in culinary torture."

"You're being a baby. It's good enough food, just plain."

"I've been in the Army long enough to know what plain food tastes like. That stuff would have to gain a taste before it could have claim to the title food."

"Well, as it happens, your mother may have pointed me in the direction of café down the road a bit that make rather good soup and sandwiches and is Colonel James approved. We can't have James junior getting an upset tummy."

Charles rolled his eyes at her again at her cheek and because she was repeating a conversation with his Consultant about the slow introduction to safe food following his stint in ICU and now the HDU.

"Well if it's Colonel James approved, what are you waiting for woman?"

She laughed.

"Never would have known at the FOB that you quite such a greedy bastard. Seeing you in that uniform all muscles and zero fat."

He pressed a kiss to her lips. "Don't think I didn't notice you checking me out at the gym."

"As if. Anyway, calling some ancient weights and a bike held on up on sand bags a 'gym' is a bit of stretch, even for you."

Deflection, ehh, is that's the way you want to go with this?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I just don't have a scooby what you're on about. Perhaps you're talking crap because of low blood suga–"

He cut her off mid word. Warm lips pressed against her smiling mouth until he distracted her into silence for several minutes. When he eventually pulled back, she rested her forehead against his, pleasantly out of breath.

Dropping his mouth to her ear he whispered cheekily, "Of course I noticed, why'd you think I took off my shirt?"

"You were hot?" she replied, supressing a laugh with difficulty.

"I certainly hot for something."

"Oh really, do tell?"

"Cheese and ham toastie and soup, and you know I'll adore you forever."

She shoved him away gently, sitting back to see his grinning face and eyes bright with humour.

"You seem to be say that a lot, I've noticed. Maybe you need to get some new one-liners?"

"You don't mess with a classic, Dawesey, but getting back to our earlier topic of conversation, what are your conclusions about Smurf?"

"He's not speaking to anyone. It's not just me."

"I could order him down here if you want?" he said, his expression just the right side of serious that she thought he might actually mean it.

"Yeah, right."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Back to plan B. Rock up at his bed with some chocolates and asked the wanker what he's playin' at ignoring everyone who's worried about him, but that's a tomorrow's problem."

"I almost feel sorry for him in advance." Charles said with a grin. "He doesn't stand a chance against the juggernaut that is Molly in full battle cry."

"Whatever, mate." she said. "Guess I better get off to the caf then. Need to feed you up, you're looking positively scrawny compared to back at the FOB. Wasn't much of you back then either."

"Jesus, you're a real tonic for my ego."

She held his gaze, eyes suddenly serious as she stroked is face softly. "You're look stronger every day, and I'm so bloody grateful to be able to be here with you."

He smiled, holding her hand against his cheek. "Ditto."

 **ooOOoo**

Molly returned later with the requested food, and a travel mug of his beloved, all be it decaf, coffee to find his mood very different. She laid the bag of food on the chair before sitting on the bed beside him where he was sitting propped up turning his mobile over in his hands.

"Charles?"

She put her hand against his face, enjoying the feel of the stubble prickling under her palms, but less pleased by the worried frown creasing his brow which was furrowed in a t-shape between his raised eyebrows. This was his Captain James worried face that she knew so well.

"Major Beck called. He wants to arrange a visit to discuss the After-Action investigation."

"We can put him off, if you're not feeling up to it. Maybe get your father to speak to him and–"

"It's not that." he said, cutting her off, his tone a little snappy. "Probably better to get it over with. I'm just not looking forward to having to discuss my failings. I've given him my resignation. I wish he'd accept it and let me move on but that's not the bloody way it works in the Army, is it?"

Molly studied his stormy expression while working hard to keep her own expression neutral. The contrast between it and his earlier playful mood was jarring and left her feeling unsettled. The whole subject of his resignation seemed like a bit of a taboo subject and she wasn't really sure how or if she should continue to try discussing it with him. She had been trying to encourage him to discuss it while not pushing her own opinion on the matter on him, even though she believed he was being too hasty.

Charles tended to treated it very much as a decision made, shutting down any discussion quickly whenever she'd tried to raised it and it always left her feeling a little bit unsure of herself afterwards. What they had was so new, it felt a bit like she hadn't quite earned the right to have strong opinions on his life.

Instead of voicing her concerns, she laid out the food for him on a side table and pulled it over to the bed so he could reach. She passed the travel cup into his hand with a tentative smile.

"I stopped at the flat and made you some coffee. I know it's not the proper stuff but maybe that will put you in a better mood."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm being a grumpy arse again. I'm grateful, always. You're taking amazing care of me."

"It's not your fault." she said, squeezing his arm. "It's a lot to take in, that's all. Now eat you're toastie."

He tried very hard to eat. Knowing that Molly monitored how much he ate and worried about it, but his appetite has deserted him again. Half the toastie and a few spoonfuls of soup were all he managed under her watchful gaze.

When they were interrupted by afternoon rounds, he'd been grateful for the distraction.

 **ooOOoo**

Charles' latest requested had surprised her, on a number of levels. Sat on his bed, greens eyes huge with doubt, she was studied him silently. Coming on the back of his earlier sharp mood following Major Beck's phone call, Molly was inclined to treat him rather like an unexploded bomb.

"Please?"

Holding his hand in her lap, she stroked the back of his hand with gentle fingers.

"I don't understand why you would be okay with me helping you do this, but not one of the nursing staff."

"You've seen me at my best and my worst, what's the difference with this?" he said doggedly, but there was vulnerability in his eyes again, under his bluster.

This should have been a good day for him. The visit from his Consultant that afternoon with one of the Physios in tow had confirm his amazing progress. Enough so that they would be moving him out of HDU to a private room on a normal post-op ward. The goal now was encouraging his mobility and getting him home before aftercare and further therapy at Headley Court.

"They've been looking after you in more intimate ways," she said carefully.

"If it's too much…"

He wasn't blushing exactly but his embarrassment was clear in the tension in his jaw, and the way he looked down and away from her gaze.

"It didn't say that."

Then she got it–how difficult this must be for him. He had such a self-contained, controlled, personality type. For him to have to submit to having strangers lift and move him, and deal with intimacies such as washing and bodily functions must have been hard. He'd never shown any sign of embarrassment or anxiety about it–until now– so it hadn't really occurred to her until now. But then he wouldn't would have let himself show any signs of stress, would he? Stubborn pride and straight up politeness would have stopped all that.

Vulnerability wasn't something he'd want to show. Yet he was showing it to her willingly. Molly found it quite humbling.

She'd never been this emotionally close to someone else in her life which was amazing, but at the same time, she was scared. Feeling so emotionally connect to him, left her worried about how she was supposed to cope if they didn't work out. The fact that she could pull out a laundry list of reasons why they _shouldn't_ work without trying too hard, wasn't exactly helping her wobble.

She pushed the thought aside for the moment. He needed her help here and now.

Resolve found, she pecked a kiss onto his downturned forehead, and he looked up, tilting his head to chase her lips with his own. She kissed him gently, lips moving slowly together as she held his face in her hands before moving back.

"It's a bit easier to deal with this sort of thing when you're off your face on morphine, I'm guessing."

He laughed, grateful to have the discomfiture between them punctured with her cheeky humour.

"Exactly."

He hugged her enjoying the way her head fitted into the curve of his shoulder, even when she was twisting herself awkwardly to avoid the wound on his abdomen. The tension in her back because of the twist position annoyed him, unfairly. Not at her, never at her but because it illustrated all the reasons for his frustrations with his body and the time it was taking to heal. He wanted to be able to start their lives together properly, be the man she had met on tour, who could hold his girlfriend as tight as he liked, and urinate without needing a catheter bag or bottle or relying on strangers move his body in ways he had struggled to himself.

"You really want my help to do this?"

"Yes."

She sat up, her expression and voice deathly serious. "Am I gonna need to shake it for you afterwards?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "Fuck off, Dawes. You cheeky little cow."

"Hey, less of the laughing. First piss, together as a couple. This is a momentous occasion, maybe I should video it on my phone–"

Her grabbed her with a grin, smothering the cheeky words with his lips with a kiss which spiralled into something deep, breathless and tender.

"I love you, despite your piss taking ways. Now bring the wheelchair over so we can get this over and done with."

Molly retrieved the wheelchair, smirking the whole time. He rolled his eyes at her.

"What are you bloody smirking at now?"

She covered mouth with her hand, struggling and failing to stop giggling.

"Well?"

"Piss taking ways, ain't that more appropriate for you?"

"I guess I talked myself into that one, didn't I?"

She lowered his bed rail and the arm rest on the wheelchair before lining it up with the side of the bed as she had watched the orderly do previously. Chewing on her lower lip nervously she thought that perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.

"Don't look so worried, I've done this already."

"Yeah, with a six-foot something brick shit house of an orderly to help. What if I drop you, or something?"

She looked over towards the door.

"What if the nurses catch us? What's your father gonna say if this goes Pete Tong and you rip your stitches or something."

"Where's your sense of adventure, Dawesey?" he said with a grin while shifting his hips to the side of the bed by lifting his weight onto his arms, and twisting so his good leg was on the floor, bad leg slightly raised.

"Jesus, you're actually enjoy this, ain't you?" Molly scolded, taking hold of his hands and bracing to take some of his weight as he swung from the bed to the wheel chair balancing on his stronger leg. From the slightly tight expression on his face, Molly could tell it had hurt, but he was still smiling like a lunatic.

"If you mean I'm enjoying being out of the bloody bed, you'd be correct."

Molly Clipped the arm rest back into place on the wheelchair and watched as Charles re-arranged the hospital gown so he was covered up. When he looked up at her with a grin, he found her trying not to giggle again.

"What?"

"I was just thinking, nice flanks, mate."

"Nice, Dawesey, perving on your boyfriend when he's wounded."

"Don't you try pretending to be all outraged, you know you're gorgeous wounded or not. I'm not looking to add to your already over-sized ego."

He laughed in reply, before pointing towards the bathroom door. "Onward to phase two, Private."

They repeated the transfer technique onto the toilet successfully, and a slightly awkward silence descend while Molly hesitate trying to work out if he needed her stay while he, well, performed.

"You'd better push off for the moment. Don't want the nurses catching us together behind a closed door. We'll be the talk of the hospital and barracks by tea-time."

"I'll wait outside with the door slightly open, don't be a Muppet and try to get back into the chair without my help, okay?"

Charles was as good as his word, calling out to Molly to help him return to the wheelchair, then asking for her help to wash and shave before she manoeuvred him back into the room.

"Better?" she asked as he tipped his head back towards her asking for a kiss which she gladly dropped onto his lips with a smile.

"Much, thank you."

Charles watched as Molly straightened out his bed, ready to help him back into it again. He pulled a face when she went to move the chair back to the side of the bed.

"What's the matter?"

"I don't suppose we could go for a little road trip to a coffee shop or anywhere in the building that does half decent coffee?"

"You're only just back on solid food, you really think your system is ready for caffeine. You're barking, mate."

"No, just gasping for a proper coffee."

"No, and pouting ain't going to change my mind. Come on, I know you don't want to, but back into bed. It's where you should be for now."

"If I must." he muttered as he swung back into the bed with help, and Molly re-arranged his pillows and covers.

He lay back against the pillows, and Molly was pretty sure he looked paler than before he'd started this little adventure. He definitely looked tired. Unsurprising really, given their night of shared broken sleep.

"That took a bit more out of you than you were expecting," she said stroking his face. "Didn't it?"

"Maybe, but was still totally worth it."

Molly looked worried. "Charles…"

"I know, little steps and small wins. I won't do anything to jeopardise getting out of this place and home with you, I promise. Now come here."

He held his arms out to her and shifted across the bed, indicating she should join him on the bed. "I think an afternoon cuddle might be in order, with my beautiful girlfriend. You're looking kind of tired, and I want to get another episode in before they delivery dinner slop."

"I'm look tired?" she said, eyebrows raised, but tucked herself in against his side, head on his shoulder as he reached for his iPad. "And you've changed you tune about watching TV."

"As long as I get to hold you, I'm willing to watch just about anything, though I will admit, the storyline is surprisingly engaging."

"Even though Baz recommended it."

"Yep, even though and I was thinking, you could read some of the book to me tomorrow in between pealing grapes for me and wiping my brow."

"Don't be a spoilt arse."

"As if I would dare."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

 _A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down._

 ** _– Arnold H. Glasgow_**

* * *

The news that he would be soon cleared to go home to attend outpatient rehab at Headley had given Charles new determination in his physio efforts. Perhaps too much, in Molly's opinion, even if she felt she needed to keep that opinion to herself. Her view was that it was his recovery, not hers. So, it was his choice how hard to push himself. Anna had been less quiet on the subject, however, and his response involved rolling eyes and arguments leaving Molly glad she'd left the subject alone.

Next day after the Anna v Charles _discussion_ , he'd returned from physio in the morning looking pale with exhaustion, with no interest in breakfast, and it was clear his mother's warnings had been ignored. Happiest in the role of looking after him, rather than calling him out on things, Molly had tried to cox him into have a sleep by closing the blinds in his room. He'd only been pursued when she agreed to join him on the bed. That was how Smurf found them later, Charles deeply asleep on his side curled around Molly who was awake, quietly reading something on her phone.

Molly looked up to where Smurf was looking through the door and smiled at him, holding her hand up to indicate he should wait a moment.

She slid slowly off the bed, pausing when Charlies stirred.

"Molly?" he murmured, eyes open barely.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek and run her hands through his hair gently. "Go back to sleep, I'll be back. Gonna go speak to Smurf, okay?"

"Okay," he said muzzily before stretching out then rolling onto his back, eyes closed and breathing slow and easy.

They'd head to the café, but ended up sitting outside. A park bench in the grounds of the hospital wasn't the roof of a shitter in Afghan but the sense of familiar companionable-ness was the same. The slightly stilted conversation, however, was very new.

Molly took a sip of her tea while watching Smurf as he ate single-handed by swapping the remains of his bacon roll over for his coffee.

"Are you looking forward to getting home?"

Smurf chewed slowly and then swallowed, as though considering his answer carefully.

"I don't know. My mum is, so I guess it's good because it will please her. Travelling back and forwards has been tiring her out. I'm not sure, sitting at home, churning over things. I'd rather be working."

He scrunched the bag from his roll into a ball, then threw it overhand into a nearby bin, turning to Molly with a little grin at his success.

"Left-handed, too. Impressive."

"Natural talented."

"Have you got support meetings setup for when you get home?"

"Do you mean have they set me up with appointments with a head-shrink in Newport. Yeah, that's all been sorted." he replied, his earlier burst of humour suddenly absent.

"Smurf–"

"Just leave it, Molly. I know what happened was my fault, and I know what I need to do to work through it."

"I'm so sorr–"

"I swear, if you try to apologise, I'm gonna shake you. Stop it, okay? What happened is done. Just leave it alone."

"We're okay, though, aren't we?"

Smurf slung his good arm around her shoulder in a brief hug.

"Yeah"–he coughed, as though trying to clear his throat– "we're okay."

Molly squeezed him back but was forced to let go when he shifted away.

"How's the Bossman?"

"Good. Getting stronger every day. Might be getting home in next couple of weeks."

"You and him still doing okay?" Smurf asked.

Considering he'd walked in to find Charles curled around her asleep, Molly was surprised by the question.

"It's maybe been a bit intense with him being in here. Meeting his parents so soon and that. But we're good, really good." She smiled back at him reassuring, the thought occurring that she would need to be getting back before he woke up.

"You could come and see him?"

Smurf gave her a look like that suggestion she was being a bit daft, but it held no malice.

" _No_ , I couldn't."

"He wouldn't mind."

"He's my Captain. You're his girlfriend. I think you're judging things from a different status to me."

"I suppose." Molly replied, reminded again of how much had changed since they'd left Afghanistan. Just how different things would be with her boys from Two Section when they finally found out who she was dating.

"I asked after him with the nurses. You two seem to be a bit of a favourite."

"Piss off."

"No serious. The one that has a face like a slapped arse most of the time... Willoughby? She even cracked a smile when I asked after you. Have you been home yet?"

"No. I speak to Mum most nights on the phone. Going to go once he's a bit more mobile. For the weekend maybe. I'm staying with his parents just now. When I'm not here anyway."

"So, it's serious then? You two?"

"Yes, it's serious."

"You'd better mind your P's & Q's with your future mum-in-law, she a dragon. Tore a proper strip off me for hanging around outside the boss's room the day you arrived. Can see were the boss gets it."

"Anna? She been nothing but lovely. She just protective. Seeing her son like that. She just needed someone to blame–"

"Picked the right target then."

"Smurf, shit, I'm sorry I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"It's okay, Molly. I won't break if you speak about it. I've come to the conclusion that not speaking about things is where all the problems in my head started."

"Your mum said you've been working through stuff."

"Getting there. I know I've been avoiding everyone. I just needed some time to get my head straight. The first couple of meetings with the Army shrink...just stirred up shit you know...about Geraint. Then it started to help a bit. You and me… how I get stuff so mixed up… I'm still working on."

"You know I'm here if you need to chat."

"I think you might have your hands full with the Boss."

"I still have time for my mates." Molly replied carefully watching his reaction.

Unexpectantly Smurf threw his head back and laughed. "You can stop staring at me like I'm some sort of puzzle. You look like you need a bloody big shit. We're good. I meant what I said. Seriously you look weird. Like this." Smurf scrunch up his face comically. "Not flattering at all."

"Funny ain't you?"

He bumped his shoulder against hers affectionately.

"Always good for shits and giggles. That's me."

"Thank you, Smurf."

"For what?"

"Still being you. Not making this difficult. I was worried I was going lose my best mate."

"I'm like a case of gonorrhoea, difficult to get rid of."

"Nice visual, Smurf."

"I'm not going anywhere, Dawesey. Probably should be me thanking you though."

"Don't be an idiot!"

"I'm not. You never gave me any encouragement and I stilI pushed for more. The shooting, all the crap with engagement ring. That's on me. You love the Boss, you never lied about that."

"None of it matters now."

Smurf held his hand out. "Come on then, hand it over."

"What are you on about?"

"The engagement ring, hand it over."

Molly drew the ring out of her pocket. "I thought you wanted me to keep it?"

"I did, but I doubt the Boss Man wants another man's ring on his girlfriend. Even if it is around your neck or in your pocket."

Molly pulled face finding the subject awkward even if Smurf had called it correctly.

"You make is sound so… I don't… basic, like he's pissing on me or something."

"One thing about have too much time on your hands sitting in a hospital bed, you go back over things. The singing together, shared jokes, going with you when Badrai's son was being interrogated, sending me out of the room before I overheard you both in that bunker. He's been pissing a circle around you going way back and fair enough, he's in love with you."

"Smurf, I'm so–"

"Stop saying sorry, for fuck-sake. You've nothing to apologise for. Give it here."

"There you go." The ring disappeared into Smurf's pocket.

"Talking with the shrink made me release how much shit form the past I've been holding onto. My mums been the same holding onto that ring. I'm going home tonight, and putting it away until I meet the right someone. Then I'm gonna have it melted down and made into something new. For my Mum and for me."

"That's a lovely way to look at it." Molly said, sharing a smile with Smurf. "You soppy sod."

"I'm letting you see my romantic soul. Showing you my best future moves and that's what I get? The piss taken out of me. Charming."

Molly pulled him into a hug. "I don't know who she gonna be, but when you meet that girl you're talking about, she gonna be bleedin' lucky to have you. My Nan said you were a good-un and she's always right. At least, that's what she says."

"I'll remind you of that when you're writing your best-woman speech."

"I'll look forward to that."

"I bet you will."

"So, what's next?"

"Home, therapy. Physical and with the shrink. Disciplinary Board. Then a few decisions are gonna need to be made about my future. I don't know yet for sure, but I think I'm gonna leave. I couldn't put my Mum through another tour."

"You need to take some time, think it through."

"Yeah. I know, shame it's not the gambling and giggles in Las Vegas I was planning."

"I thought we had that squared away. I want my red dress and the gambling and giggles with my best mate."

"What about the Boss Man?"

"What about him. He's got me, heart and all. No pissing needed. If I want to go on holiday with my best mate, I can go on holiday with my best mate."

 **ooOOoo**

Charles sat up straighter in the wheelchair where he'd positioned it under the window waiting for her return. Being sat there instead of in bed was all about pride on his part. He wanted her to see his progress, and maybe distract her from his snippy, jealous behaviour of that morning. The subject of Smurf when mixed with his short temper was never going to end well. He had some apologies to make.

When the blond head of his father looked around the door instead of Molly's dark head, he unconsciously slumped back into the chair, his expression moody.

"How are you doing, my boy?"

"Fine, or as fine as can be expected when you have the same floor and walls to stare at."

Elias held in a smile with difficulty, reflecting that his son, a Captain in her Majesty's Army, was doing an amazing impression of his former sulky teenage self rather than the refined, controlled leader of men that he'd grown up to become.

He knew the reasons well enough. There were no secrets with Anna about, but the Ward Sister asking after Molly's as he walked in was a reminder of her absence. Standing in the doorway seeing Charles sitting alone did seem odd. Molly had become such a fixed feature by his side.

Elias found Molly to be a little nervous around him, which wasn't perhaps to be unexpected with his rank, so tended to stand to the side and observe her interactions with his son and wife. Anna was enough of a ball of warmth and conversation to balance out any awkwardness and he was confident they would come to know each other when she learned to relax more around him in time.

Awkwardness aside, he liked the effect Molly had on Charles. His son was more relaxed and open again, like his old self, not the closed off, somewhat jaded person he had been following the slow decline and final death of his marriage.

Elias was only too aware that doing the job the Charles did, with the current uncertain political world climate, took a toll on a person. You saw things, did things, heard things that left a stain. Love and warmth from home was an important thing to have in dark times. Molly seemed to have become that for Charles, and he was happy for his son that he'd found it in the tiny dark-haired combat medic.

"Like that is it?"

"Yep, pretty much."

"Missing Molly already?"

Elias watched the change in his son's body language. A full reverse of his sullen slump, to sitting up bolt straight and giving his father his full, urgent attention.

"What do you mean? I thought she'd come by this afternoon with mother."

"Your mother is driving her to the station right now. She's off home to London for a couple of nights, didn't you know?"

"Shit."

Charles grabbed for his mobile phone, staring at the screen intently like he was expecting answers, before turning back towards his patiently waiting father. If Molly had spoken to his mother, then there was no way his father didn't know…

"We had words this morning. She and Smurf are talking again and are apparently going on holiday to Las Vegas. Together."

He waited for Elias' response, hoping for a statement of support at the very least, but when none was forthcoming, he began to see that he'd perhaps been tad passionate in his response to Molly.

"And you said what to this?"

"No." Charles scrubbed his hand across his face, irritated at himself now.

"You said no? As in told her she couldn't go?"

"Yes."

"Well, you've no visible injuries on you, so that's good. I'm not sure what you want me to say other than I'm impressed by Molly's restraint. Your mother would have ripped me a new–"

"Okay, yes. I've been a prick about it, but you weren't in Afghanistan when Smurf stood in my office and talked about proposing to Molly." Charles said defensively. "Now he wants to just be friends. I'm supposed to swallow that? Of course, I said no when put on the spot. What was I supposed to say?"

"That you trust her. That you'll miss her when she gone, perhaps? You definitely don't tell your full-grown, adult girlfriend no like she is a child or someone in your chain of command. You definitely don't do that, son."

"I've fucked up."

"Indeed." Elias patted his arm sympathetically. "Look on it as an opportunity to train for your future fuck-ups by finding the best way to grovel now."

"I'm an idiot."

"Don't look so worried. Molly loves you. She probably just needed some space."

"I hope you're right."

"Give her some time, call her later once the heats gone out of the subject. Meantime, I'm here to keep you busy. I thought we could go for a walk, well wheel. Fresh air and some coffee might just clear your head a bit."

 **ooOOoo**

Anna let her eyes wander around the generic décor of the motorway services café they were sitting in about halfway through their journey to London.

Molly was usually quiet but that was an improvement on the practically vibrating with temper that she'd been when she first climbed into the car.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into the middle of this." Molly said, turning the paper cup of tea around and around in her hands. "I should have just got the train."

"I offered to drive you. I've been saying you should go home and spend time with your family for a while. Of course, it might have been better if it wasn't because Charles was acting like a brat."

"Aren't you supposed to take his side?"

"Why? Because he's my son? He was brought up in a house where we called a spade a spade. He's being a brat, I tell him as much when I next see him."

"You sound like my Nan. All about straight talking. I feel bad I lost my temper."

"It will be fine. You've had an argument. He had his point of you. You had yours. He'll stew in his own juices for a while then come to his senses. Charles loves you. He's being insecure."

"He's insecure about me?" Molly said, looking confused.

"Is that really so difficult to believe?" Anna smiled gently at the disbelief on Molly's face. She looked so young and unsure and it filled Anna with protective affection. "I don't think you understand how easily you draw people to you. You're lovely inside and out. Smurf is competition. He's jealous."

"I shouldn't have gone off at him like that. I don't know what I was thinking. He's in hospital for God's sake."

"I know you're close to Private Smith and you're just friends, but Smurf loved you as more than a friend for a good while. I'm not sure that feelings like that change easily. I don't agree with Charles' reaction but I can see why he's jealous."

"It hurt. Thinking that he didn't trust me or something, like he was expecting me to go on holiday and act like some sort of slapper."

"He doesn't think that, Molly."

"I suppose. In the heat of the moment, it felt like that. I was a bitch to him."

"He was a brat. Either way, it doesn't matter. Let him stew for a while then talk it out. You'll be fine.

"He's been on edge for days. Since Colonel Beck called. I should have cut him some slack for that."

"He's visiting tomorrow, I understand. I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're both going through stuff. You're allowed to lose your temper or need a break. It's human. Elias is with him and Tom Beck is only ever going to have his best interest in mind." Anna said, squeezing Molly's hand reassuringly.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Accepting me so easily, and just being lovely about everything."

"How else could I be. My son loves you and you love him. You're part of my family now."

"That easy, is it?"

"Yes. That easy. We'd better get going. I texted your Nan and arranged to meet here for…how did she put it? A brew and sticky bun. She said your Mum and siblings are excited to see you."

"I've missed them. I'm not sure how I feel about you and Nan suddenly being thick as thieves though. Are you to gonna behave?"

Anna laughed. Now that would be telling, wouldn't it?"

 **ooOOoo**

Anna drove off with a wave, leaving Molly in the street lost in the middle of a group hug from her siblings as her mum looked on smiling.

The loving, noisy family chaos moved into the house as Molly dropped her bags while answering a hundred questions from the kids and handing out the gifts she gotten them while away.

Things calmed down to a dull roar of noise and activity when Dave returned, greeted Molly with an awkward hug then rounded the older kids up to go to Cubs and Guides.

Molly headed for kitchen to join Belinda for a cup of tea. Head down, fiddling with her phone she was disappointed to find she had no messages and unaware that that disappointment was written on her face clear as day for her mum to see.

"Those came." Belinda said, pointing to a lavish bunch of flowers on the counter.

"What did Dad do this time? It must be somethin' big because those are more impressive than carnations from the corner shop."

"Don't be a prat. They're for you, not me. They arrived about an hour before you got dropped of by your fella's mum."

"Oh."

"There's a card. Aren't you going to read it?"

"I'll just take it to my room, to… you know…be back in a minute…for the tea an that." Molly said, grabbing the flowers in a flustered rush before running upstairs nearly knocking a returning Dave over in her hurry.

"Where's the bleedin fire then?" he shouted after Molly's retreating back.

"Leave her alone. She got flowers from her new fella."

"Trouble in paradise already then?"

"Don't be a dickhead." Belinda said, elbowing him in the stomach.

 **ooOOoo**

In her room, cross legged on the floor, Molly opened the card with not altogether steady hands.

"I've been an arse. I love you, Charles x"

Reaching for her phone, pulled up the facetime app and called.

His worried, handsome face filled the screen almost immediately as they stared at each other in guilty silence for a heartbeat before rushing to speak at the same time, talking over each other.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

Then they both laughed at each other.

"God, we're a perfect pair of idiots aren't we." Molly said.

"Jury's out on the that one. I think I'm the one that deserves the idiot badge after today."

"Our first argument."

"Yep, it was. Can't say I feel good about it. I was a jealous prick. Can you forgive me?"

"I was a gobby bitch, can you forgive me for that?"

"Of course, you don't even need to ask. I love you, colourful language included."

"Just doing my bit to expand your cockney vocabulary."

"You were certainly successful in that regard, my love."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

 _Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory._ _ **– Douglas MacArthur**_

* * *

Molly was sitting cross-legged on her bed in London when he facetimed. PJ clad, with hair hanging around her face in an untamed tumble, she looked sleep rumpled and gorgeous. It was her smile that he wanted to see most because he was missing her more than he'd thought possible.

"Hey you."

"Morning."

"Today's the day then. Nervous?"

"Would you think less of me if I said yes?"

"Don't be an idiot. Of course, I wouldn't. I love you, nothing is going to make me think less of you."

"Thank you. I needed to hear that. I love you too."

He wanted to say he missed her and to ask when she was coming back, because frankly the grinding boredom of the same four walls kept pressing in on him without Molly's cheek and warmth to distract and delight him, but he didn't because that would be selfish. She needed time with her family. The spark of light and love that she brought into his life would be back by his side when she was ready.

"You doing okay, settled in?"

It was the same question he asked yesterday but using different words. She responded with the same hesitancy to answer, as she tipped her head down to look into her lap, her hair providing a shield so he couldn't see her eyes for the briefest of seconds. Yet her need to pause and check her answer was there, and was worrying. There was an inner fatigue about her that hadn't been present when she was in Birmingham. Like the world was weighing on her more because she was at home.

"This house is like Kings Cross Station at rush hour. It's anything but settled." She hooked her hair behind her ears and he could see her eyes and smile again. "I'm enjoying spending time with the kids and my mum though."

He found it easier to read her when she close. The technology they were using provided a connection but it was frustratingly limited. He wanted to reach over and touch her face. To ask her what was wrong while she was secure in his arms.

"Molly–"

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

Charles wanted to say: I'm worried about you and about today and I want you here but he didn't because Molly was the one deciding to spend time away and he wanted her to come back when she was ready not because he was feeling needy.

A knock on the door of his room interrupted them as his father entered. In uniform and with his usual calm smile, Charles marvelled at the way he had of changing the energy in a room by just being present. Dr James, Colonel James, Dad; he was all those personas and yet they all shared the same _quality–_ his reassuring calm presence.

"Morning Charles, good morning, Poppet. Sorry I'm interrupting. Do you want me to come back later?"

"'No, please come in." Charles said and his father crossed the room and took a seat by the bed as Charles angled the screen of his iPad so that Molly could see them both.

"Hey." Molly said.

The subtle but noticeable nervousness in her voice around his father back. Charles knew she was struggling to relax around him completely and had yet to hear her use his father's actually name. Opposite to her formality, Elias frequently and affectionate used his allocated pet-name for her as he did with all of his family.

"No Anna this morning?"

"No, I've been abandoned. She headed back to Bath to catch up on things. Back tonight."

"Sorry, I'm gonna have to go. I said I would get the kids up and off to school to give my mum a break. If I don't get cracking, they'll never be out the door on time. Speak to you later?"

"Yes. Love you."

"Love you too and bye." With a wave to the screen she was gone.

"I keep waiting for her to call me 'Sir' by accident."

"She's seen you mostly at work surrounded by people from her regiment calling you Sir. It will be easier once we're out of this bloody place."

"Patience never was your thing, my boy." Elias laughed.

"You might be right there."

"I thought you might like to come have breakfast in different surroundings this morning?"

"Best offer I'm going to get today I think." Charles said, swinging his legs gingerly out of bed and shrugging into the dressing gown that Elias passed over.

"Private Anderson." Elias called, and Mel, the CMT, appeared in the bedroom doorway with a wheelchair.

"That won't be necessary, Private." Charles said reaching for the crutches by his bed.

"It's further than you've gotten before."

"I'll manage."

"Okay, my boy, let's see what you've got. Thank you, Anderson, I don't think we'll be needing that for now."

Charles swung himself up onto the crutches with a focused expression on his face and made steady progress towards the door which was being held open by Private Anderson.

Elias smiled, enjoying Charles' determination. The presentation of the wheelchairs had been deliberate on his part. A challenge to distract him out of his current mood which he suspected was in no small part due to his CO visiting today.

Settled at a table in the hospital cafe, Charles watched his father empty a tray of coffee, toast & eggs for Charles and toast and jam for himself."

"Thanks."

"When is Tom coming into see you?" Elias asked, settling himself into a chair.

"Eleven."

"I'll be in surgery then, but I could reschedule. Push it back and be there with you."

"I appreciate the offer but this is something I need to do myself."

"If that's what you need. Offer's there though."

"Does it ever get weird, having your best friend salute you at formal events?" Charles asked randomly after taking a long drink from his coffee.

"No weirder than it must be for you to call a man you called Uncle as a child over Sunday dinner, Sir as an adult."

"I'm not sure I didn't call him sir even then. With Grandfather at the dinner table I think I got used to anyone male being referred to us sir."

They both chuckled.

"I still miss him.". Elias replied fondly, knowing that Charles felt the same about his beloved Grandfather to whom Army tradition and protocol had been way of life.

"I saved Tom's life in Iraq, he saved mine when everything went to hell after the car accident. He and I have a bond that goes beyond rank. Bit like you and Elvis I suspect."

"Yep, a bit."

 **ooOOoo**

They used Elias' office for the meeting as Charles was uncomfortable with the thought of meeting Beck from his hospital bed. In his mind, a serious meeting needed a formal setting.

After his arrival, Beck didn't linger on pleasantries. The tension on his Junior Officer's face was very clear. He wanted to ease that stress.

"Your ability to connect with your men has always been one of your strengths. I think where it went wrong was with Geraint Smith. Having Dylan Smith join your platoon after Geraint's death was my mistake. Your mistake was blaming yourself for Geraint death, and then holding onto it into your next tour. You got too involved, and I believe that has led you to view some of Smurf's issues through a tinted lens, if you will.

"You were slow to act on the concerns of your medic about Smurf's frame of mind and I believe on more than one occasion gave him too much benefit of doubt. This would also appear to be the case for his NCO, Kinders.

"That said, having spoken to Private Smith. He admitted that, looking back, he wasn't in the right frame of mind for active service as far back as basic training. Army recruitment failed to pick up on it, as did his trainers through stage 1 and 2. He was also signed back on as fit for service by two sets of medical personnel. It's a shame no one recognised the warning signs before. By Smith's own admission, he was holding himself together by a very thin margin, and with a lot of support from Private Dawes which lead to some misplaced feelings and wishes that were rejected a number of times by Dawes. Corporal Kinders has testified to the same.

"As to the conduct of yourself and Dawes, none of you NCO's have testified to seeing any behaviour or decision making that could be construed to show you let your personal feelings get in the way of carrying out your role to its full extent. You showed no apparent preference for Dawes, in fact several mentioned that you came down on her quite hard initially until she had proven her abilities. Her award of the MC is in no way in question. Your recommendation was back up by Corporal Kinders' and Captain Aziz's reports of her bravery in the field.

"I have also recently heard from Major Morley, so she's even made an impression on the Yanks. Cheeky bastard offered to recruit her across the pond, I believe he was only half joking.

"Private Smith took responsibility for his loss of control on the bridge. He said he witnessed a conversation with Dawes before the incident on the bridge, misconstrued the situation and lost control of his emotions while under extreme duress.

Charles made a strangled choking noise in the back of his throat. "Sir, with all due respect, that was a little more than a conversation that Smurf witnessed. We had a misunderstanding that morning. Dawes was upset because she thought I was still married without knowing about the divorce. I didn't want her to go into a dangerous operation with her head in the wrong place. I didn't handle it well, feelings were expressed, we kissed briefly. The report I dictated to you when you visited the hospital said as much–"

"The report that I wrote up on the basis of your dictation and that you signed made no mention of personal emotions coming into play. Smith witnesses a conversation between an Officer and a young Private who was being asked to take a pivotal role in a highly emotive and stressful operation.

Smith had his own personal reasons for his reactions and all that happened after. The failure of the ANA to stop the truck at the first check point, followed by Smith's shooting at a civilian caused your attention to be split, while at a distance from your Section. No one could have planned for what happened, and it could have been a considerably worse outcome. There is no blame to be laid here except toward a set of circumstances that no one could have foreseen.

"With all due respect, Sir."

"Let me finish. Dawes raised the alarm, and in the confusion the ANA Personnel did not have a chance to act quickly enough and Bhadri was able to open fire hitting yourself and Private Smith. It was a miracle the Private Dawes was not hit and a close thing that no one else was injured.

"Private Dawes handled herself with a poise under pressure beyond her years and experience. She is the reason two of her colleagues were alive when the MERT arrived and Bhadri eliminated. Her achievements on this tour have been noticed higher up the chain of command. I look forward to seeing her future achievements.

"Private Smith, a solid and talented soldier, suffering from mental and emotional burden cracked under extreme pressure in the field. All parties in this unfortunate situation reported that they were responsible in some way, even Captain Azizi and Corporal Kinders.

"You, as the officer, made decisions and took action as anyone else would in the circumstances. I see no choices that you took that I might not have made myself in the same situation. The same is true for actions and decision for those under your command at the time. That is what my report, as submitted, said and it has been accepted.

"Sir-"

"Enough, James. It's finished." He said with a note of finality that did not encourage further discussion.

"Your disclosure of your new personal relationship with Private Dawes has been filed and dealt with. I'm not going to deny it's going to raise some establish eyebrows and cause some barrack gossip, but you're both going to have to deal with that the best you can.

Private Dawes has already, on paper at least, left our regimental COC. After a length stretch of R&R she will report back to her regiment in Aldershot. You're going from here to rehab in Headley and straight into some R&R. I've seen your holiday records recently, I want to see some of the days you are owed actually being used.

We'll see you back at Bulford in due course. Which is why this" –he held up the envelope that Charles had used for his resignation letter- "is refused and shall be filed in my office shredder when I return to the barracks later today."

"I don't know what to say, Sir."

"You don't need to say anything, just accept it as finished."

"Thank you."

"You need to concentrate on your rehab and getting back to fitness. It's time for you to look forwards to the next challenge."

"What about Smurf?"

"He has some healing to do, and will have to get through a review panel and medical review, outcome pending naturally. I don't for see any issues. I understand he's considering his options, one of which maybe to leave. He did mention that he had been considering a move to Royal Engineers if he does stay in. I believe he was studying in that area before he signed up.

"Captain Lewis will handle regimental matters for your sections in your absence. You need to concentrate on your recovery."

Major Beck looked at his watch and stood up gathering his paperwork and laptop into it the black laptop bag at his feet.

"I'd better be getting back. There is nothing worse than facing rush hour on the M5 if I don't get going. Tell your old man that I expect to see him back at Poker nights once you're back home–no excuses."

"I will, Sir."

"Good. I also expect to you see you and the impressive Private Dawes at the next regimental dinner once you're up and about. I'm not saying she's going to find it easy, but best to bite the bullet sooner rather than later. I'm sure we can arrange for your mother and my wife to attend, too. With those two as back up, any outspoken elements, let's say, should be encouraged to give her some space until she finds her feet. I know I wouldn't take them on even with full body armour my rifle and side arm at the ready." He laughed.

"Goodbye, Sir and thank you."

"You know how to contact me if you need anything in the meantime, James. Give my best wishes to your mother. Bye." They shook hands and Beck left with a jovial wave.

Charles slumped back in his chair letting the surreal-ness of the moment pass over his head. He'd coached himself to accept that is Army career was over. To move passed his regrets and disappointment, now he had a chance to have it all–his career and Molly. He wasn't sure what karmic balance had shifted in his favour on this particular subject but he wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone eager to share his news with Molly.

 **ooOOoo**

Is was dark when Charles jerked awake with Molly's name on his lips.

"No, Elvis. Disappointed?"

Charles turned sharply to see the dark outline of Elvis sitting in the chair by his bed. Checking his watch, it confirmed that it was stupid o'clock in the morning and well outside any authorised visiting times.

"What the hell are you doing here at this time?"

"Nice to see you too, mate. Just go back from Syria. Thought I'd pop in on the way from Brize to Hereford."

"Birmingham is hardly on the way between those two places. I was wondering when you were going to make an appearance." Charles said, switching on the bedside light, grinning despite his ill-tempered sounding banter.

"Not my fault that you were off your face on morphine the first time I visited."

"Not exactly my fault either, _apparently_." Charles said with emphasis.

"Well, I don't know. Those of us that tend to be known as good officers generally manage to avoid getting shot."

"Didn't you get my text?"

"My phone has been dead and on charge in the car since I got off the flight."

"Beck was here today. Refused my resignation. I'm staying in."

"Never believed it would end any other way. I'm made up for you though. Are you happy?"

"I'm not sure it's sunk in yet. But yep, I've really bloody happy about it."

"Looks like it's all coming up roses for the Harte and James boys. I have some news, too."

Charles narrowed his eyes at Elvis, recognising the look of devilment on Elvis' face for the trouble it was likely to deliver.

"In my experience that's never a good thing."

"Oh, this is a good thing, trust me. I've met my future wife. Best bit, she's a medic too." Elvis grinned like he'd just cracked the best joke ever.

"Are you taking the piss out of me right now?"

"No, it's the truth. She's a medic who was assigned to SF on an extraction mission my last tour. Her name is Georgie, hey do you think your Molly might know her?

"Where the magical Molly anyway? I thought she'd be stationed at your bedside ready to provide grapes and mop your brow at a moments notice. Anna said you and her had been inseparable since she got back."

"She's in London with her family and don't change the subject. Are you being completely serious?"

"Yes, but I'm beginning to think you might be taking the piss now." Elvis replied, an irritate tone creeping into his voice.

"You really can't see the issues this is going to cause?"

"I was more thinking you'd be congratulating me, if I'm honest."

Well I'm happy for you, but I'm not looking forward to the regimental gossip this is going to cause."

"She's not in my COC, Charlie. Any gossip that's going to be going will be about you, not me, mate."

"You remember the comments we used to get at Sandhurst because we were too bloody close in some people's opinion."

Elvis threw back his head and laughed. "I remember, Sandhurst's first gay couple, wasn't that the rumour at one point?"

"Yes, except your track record for shagging half the women in Camberley kind of put pay to that theory."

"As if you didn't as well, before you got back together with Rebecca."

"You're completely missing my point. How do you think the gossip is going to go when it gets around that we're both settled with medics?"

"You think I give a shit?"

"No. In fact, I think you'll positively revel in the notoriety. I'm not so sure what Molly and your Georgie might think though."

Elvis seemed to consider what he as saying briefly. "You might have a point there. I'm still working on getting her to meet up with me in the UK as it is."

"What the fuck? I though you said you were engaged?"

"Well, that's end game, Charlie boy, I'm still working on the bit in the middle. She seems to have a thing about dating squaddies."

"Sensible woman. What about, what was her name… Laura?"

"Ended by text before I left Afghan."

"Classy as ever, Elvis. I'm surprised you had her mobile number to use text. That's several more steps towards commitment than you usual make."

Elvis laughed. "Might make you right there. Anyway, I need a favour."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm going to regret this? What do you need?"

"Speak to Molly, ask if she knows Georgie?"

"Absolutely not, I'm not dragging Molly into your love life."

"You're going to be my best man, Charlie, I'm not sure how you're gonna keep her out of it if she's as important to you as you say."

"Sweet Jesus, you're actually serious about this, aren't you?"

"She's the one. I knew the first day I spent with her. Like your parents."

"Don't start that cobblers about my parent epic love story bollocks."

"So, you're saying it wasn't the same with Molly, 'cause that's not the story that Anna tells."

"Fuck sake, I swore my father to secrecy on that conversation. Should have known he couldn't keep his trap shut with my bloody mother."

"Fine, you've got me. We're both in love with medics. I'll ask Molly for you."

"Knew there was a reason I picked you as my best-mate. Piss taking aside. You're looking good. You gave us all a fright, maybe not do that again?"

"I'll endeavour to avoid that for future reference."

"Been a pleasure as always, Charlie, but I need to head. Got a briefing in the morning. If I want to get any kip I have get back."

"Will you be around for a while after?"

"Unlikely. Better chance towards the end of next week. It depends on how things pan out, you know how it goes."

"Yes. I understand. It's what you get for being a special forces nob."

"Might see you when you're back home. Maybe meet Molly, too."

"Not if I can help it. Now can you fuck off? Some of us need sleep."

"Will do." Elvis got up and moved to door. "One request though, when I do visit, can you keep the noise down a bit. As big as that barn of house of your parents is, I could do without hearing my best mate having sexy time with his bird.

"How long has it been since you called me all in froth about falling in love with your medic? Five months to now? Then you got shot. They must be going blue by now, is all I'm saying."

Elvis ducked to the side as Charles launched a book at his head and missed.

"Do sod off, Elvis."

"Catch you later, Charlie. Take care."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

 _Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them._ _ **– Oscar Wilde**_

* * *

"What have you got yourself into _this_ time, Molly Dawes?"

Those words, in her Nan's most scolding voice, were still silently rioting around inside her head hours after she'd turned up on her Nans doorstep. Arriving in cab with all of the worldly goods she'd managed to grab and stuff into black bags before Dave Dawes, had gotten back from the pub twenty minutes behind his eldest daughter. Drunken and stumbling, he'd kicked off, yelling abuse at Molly's departing back as she'd stamped down the communal stairs to the waiting cab with hands full of bags.

Despite her mother alternating between soft pleas for Molly, "To come inside and talk," followed by growled demands of, "Dave, shut up, for God's sake!" Molly had remained silent walked determinedly to the cab.

Dave's parting shot was shouted while he swayed like a tree in the wind. "You're an ungrateful bitch, Molly Dawes, who doesn't think about her family first."

Molly had turned, hand on the cab door, and stared her father down with as much fury as her small frame was able to contain, then shoved her hand in her pocket and thrown something at his feet. Two silver Tiffany charm bracelets fell at his feet accusingly. One fake and one supposedly real. A gift from her l _oving_ father because he was _so_ proud of all that she achieved in the Army and was sorry for the mistakes he'd made about Artan and wanted to make a new start.

The memory stung because he'd had her fooled again.

For an hour or so, drinking a pint in his local with her Dad, Molly had let her walls down. Produced her wrist wearing the new charm bracelet like a performing puppy for his cronies while Dave crowed on about and his amazing daughter and how she deserved the gift. She'd let herself believe that he meant it. The regrets and apologies. His pride. She'd needed to hear it all.

Nice while it lasted, it all went to shit, because she was an _idiot_ who couldn't learn a lesson.

Of course, Dave had had a motive for it all. Apparently, he'd being speaking to his mate, Steve, who had a son in the Army, who'd told him about drawdown payments. Like the one that Molly would receive for her time in Afghanistan –would receive and had plans to use to help Bashira. Dave had plans for it. Such big plans; none of which involved a little girl in need in Afghanistan.

It was now close to nine at night and Molly was wrapped up in a blanket on her Nan's sofa. Alone, having turned down invitation to go with her to Bingo, and surrounded by her belongs which were piled up in her Nan's tiny living room come kitchen.

Molly cast her eyes around the chaos in the small living room. It could have been worse. She had a sofa for the night, and most of her belongs. She been chucked out of home with less before. She ran a hand through her hair determinedly fighting the prickle of tears at the back of her eyes. Telling herself she was stronger than that and her father wasn't worth the emotion.

Her mobile, discarded screen up, on the floral fabric sofa cushion beside her buzzed with a missed call from Charles–his second in fact. She was supposed to have call him at eight but had hesitated. He was a little bit too good at reading her sometimes and Molly didn't have the words to explain why she was upset to someone who's family was so perfect. This evening entertainment would remain her embarrassing little secret, and she'd call him back when she had a calmer face to present to him on facetime.

 **ooOOoo**

Three days later, and Molly was still on her Nan's sofa and Charles was still none the wiser why.

"Hey you."

"Hey." Molly said, offering him the same tentative smile she'd been giving him for the last couple of days and which he was growing to dislike intensely.

When Molly smiled, or scowled, she was always all in and the emotion was always genuine. This smile wasn't _his_ Molly at all, and all his gentle attempts to get to the bottom of the cause of the strain had been equally as gently dodged.

"Still at your grans?" he asked, stating the obvious.

It was there again. That shadow across her large green eyes. As she looked away from the screen for a moment, then back again, the same fake smile wider than ever.

"It's chaos at my parents." Molly replied carefully with a half-truth, then finished with a full lie and a a shrug. "This is just easier."

Refocusing on his face, Molly hesitated for a moment.

Her call to him was late again, the hospital room behind him in darkness apart from the halo of light coming from his iPad. She could see it all in the intense expression on his face. Brows low and straight, mouth slightly tense, dark eyes watchful. She wasn't fooling him one little bit.

"Molly–"

She rushed to cut him off before he could finally ask the unanswerable.

"How are you doing?" she asked quickly a frown forming on her face as she realised, he didn't look brilliant. "You look tired"

The black circles under his eyes paler than normal skin said as much.

"Well, my main source of distraction is taking a weekend long week and a half trip to London and won't tell me _why_ … so, perhaps I'm not in the best frame of minds." he replied grumpily.

When Molly's eyes widened with a guilty sort of anxiousness, he rushed to apologise. "I'm sorry, Molly, I shouldn't have snapped. It's just, you left on the back of our first fight and it feels a bit like things haven't been quite right between us since. Is that why you're staying away?"

She shook her head, her expression apologetic. "It's nothing, Charles."

"It's not _nothing_. I know I keep asking you and you keep saying you're _fine."_

He rolled his eyes because the number of times he'd heard her use that word over the last couple of days when she so clearly wasn't, was making him start to hate the word.

"The thing is, I don't believe you are, and I'm worried. That maybe we aren't… alright, I mean."

"I'm fine–"

"Fuck sake, please, use any word other than that, Molly!" He snapped, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I know something is wrong here, why can't you talk to me about it?"

"I'm sorry," she replied, her voice small. Once again, so not Molly, who should have been handing him his arse verbally for his outburst, and his temper lapsed in the face of her obvious hesitancy.

"No, I am, again. I'm being a grumpy arse, but you're worrying me. Can't you just tell me what's going on here. Is it me? Us?"

"No! Of course not. You and me are about the most solid thing I've got going on." Molly replied sharply, her tone suggesting she was shocked by his question.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing. Normal shit in life happenin', and I've been busy with sorting out a room at barracks in Aldershot and getting my stuff moved in and set up. It's going to be home from now on."

It saddened him to hear that Molly's apparent idea of home was a utilitarian barracks room in Aldershot.

"I've just been busy with this and that. I'm sorry if I've come over distracted or somethin'. I didn't mean to." She offered him the half truth with her complete sincerity that her feelings about them were not the problem, but he could read the lie in her truth and it left him with the same sense of disquiet.

From Molly perspective, after the Dave Dawes incident, her first instinct had been to run back to Birmingham with her tail between her legs to the safety he offered. First instinct, but not the one she listened to or trusted. Trusting had left her letting Dave back in to cause more hurt in the first place. The choice to stand on her own two feet had been the result of that particular emotional bruise, and Molly was beginning to appreciate that while it had offered her protective confidence initially, it was causing unnecessary tension between herself and Charles now.

Telling him the truth at the time, instead of stubbornly rebuilding her walls would have been the best choice. Instead she was left with this mess of tension and tip-toed around conversations.

"How much more leave do you have before you have to report for duty?"

"Two and a bit more weeks."

"When are you coming home?"

"I am home." she said, without thinking and meaning home in London, but realised she'd said the wrong thing in the moment when his expression tightened.

"I meant home, with me. Maybe it doesn't mean quite the same for you."

"Charles, it does. You know it does." She rushed to apologise but he cut her off with a dismissive movement of his hand in front of his screen.

"It's fine. Ignore me, like I said, I'm being a grumpy arse."

"Charles." She pleaded, realising rapidly that by hiding behind walls of her own, she was causing this reaction in him, and realising that, worse of all, she wasn't sure how to stop it.

"It's fine, really." he replied, his tone neutral.

Wrong footed and unsure, Molly tried for the easy way out and changed the subject. "You're going home soon, have they confirmed a date yet?"

"Yep, end of the week. Back to Bath." he said.

"You must be excited?"

"Something like that." he replied, voice clipped, eyes looking down at something in his lap instead of at Molly on the screen.

"You arrange how you're getting home?" she asked, hoping for an opening to offer to come and accompany him in the trip maybe.

"I'll arrange something with my parents." He replied, noncommittally.

No resolution to be found there then. Molly sighed inwardly, feeling shakily out of her depth and very much to blame for the growing awkwardness.

When the silence stretched between them became almost unbearable, she unconsciously offered him some of the vulnerability she'd been fighting so hard to hide from him, too lost in her internal thoughts that being needful was the same as being needy and therefore undesirable. Certainly, in her past experience, _letting_ herself need someone had never ended well to date.

"I don't want to fight, Charles."

Something in her voice had him looking back to the screen quickly. Whatever he saw made his expression soften marginally.

"Neither do I. I know I keep saying it, but I'm sorry for being snappy."

"Not sleeping well again?" she guessed

"Yes."

"Nightmares?"

He looked, for a moment, like he wanted to deny it. "Yes, but I'm fine."

"Thought you didn't like that word, _fine_." Molly said, trying for gentle cheeky humour to break the heavy mood between them.

He lips quirked in a brief smirk. "I think you might have me there."

"How long for?"

He hesitated over answering Molly's quiet question, using the excuse of sitting up a bit straighter in bed, and re-arranging his bed clothes to stall.

"A bit."

"Since I left?" she asked, the same guiltily sad emotion shadowing her eyes that he hated so much because she would never explain, rendering him impotent to help, much to his increasing frustration.

"Like I said, for a bit."

This was a subject they'd, or rather Molly had, tiptoed around before.

"Have you thought about what I said before, about talking to somebody about it?"

"And like I said _before_ , I'm fine." he said, borderline snapping again.

"I also thought you didn't like that word," she said again expression suddenly neutral, lacking her earlier humour, and rendering her difficult for him to read.

His frustration flared to roaring life as a result because he hated it all. The distance between them, his insecurities, her upsetting inability to let him in, all the way in, like he wanted and needed…

"I think we better just leave it, Molly."

"If that's what you want."

"It's not what I want. Not any of it, but it might be for the best, for tonight."

There he was all dark eyed, dark haired and even darker expression. Still recovering from a shooting she still considered her fault… and she was upsetting him again. Neither of them was winning in this argument and it was her fault.

"If that's what you need, Charles." She said quietly. "I love you."

"Molly–" Charles said, gripping his iPad tighter and regretting his ill-timed outburst.

"Goodnight."

But she was already gone. The screen of his iPad blacking out to the Facetime app. Molly name and number mockingly left on the screen where her image should have been.

"Fuck!"

He thumped the iPad down onto the mattress in temper as a movement from the doorway caught his eye, causing him to jerk his head up to look in surprise.

"Trouble in paradise?" Elvis drawled from darkness. "Or just missing your emotional support brunette?"

Flinching in shock at Elvis' unnoticed entrance to his dark room, Charles vented his frustration on his best friend. "For fuck sake, Elvis, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Just got back and I've got the weekend off before I have to head back. Thought I'd spend some quality time with you, Charlie."

"They do have visiting hours, you know." Charles snapped, studying the watch on his wrist. "Not that you would do anything normal like drop by in daylight hours."

Elvis stepped over his Bergan which had been laying at his feet, and made his way over to the side of the bed.

"I think what you meant to say was something admiringly about my skills in negation and charm which I utilised to gain access to your room passed your gatekeeper, Corporal Willoughby, and let us not forget me managing to get into the room undetected while you had a barny with Miss Molly."

Elvis sat on the side of the bed, grinning as Charles scowled back.

"Perish the thought that you could pass up an opportunity to have your already abundantly massive ego inflated further." Charles replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, perish all that." Elvis said, trying and failing to copy Charles' accent. "Come on then, mug, what's up?"

Charles' temper deflated right then and there as he sighed heavily.

"I fucked up, Elvis."

"Heard that, but tell Uncle Elvis why. What's going wrong in paradise, then?"

 **ooOOoo**

There were a hundred different things that she should be doing right now. Cooking a thank you dinner for a Nan for putting her up for the last few nights. Moving her remaining shit to her room in Aldershot. Returning at least one of the ten odd calls that her mum had left on her phone. Laundry, bills to pay, research for her training placement at Aldershot that her CO had emailed over. Even sleeping.

None of it mattered. Over night bag at her feet, she waited impatiently for the last train out of Euston to Birmingham to pull in and stop. Molly Dawes had some walls to pull down and some bridges to rebuild, and, pun very much intended, she was frankly bricking it.


End file.
